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I recently started a new job as a nature educator and taught my first "parent and child" class of 3 and 4 year olds. There were only 8 children in the class, so I thought it would be manageable. However, right from the start of the class, a few of the children were acting up worse than I ever saw them act during my observations. Given that their parents were there with them, I expected that the parents might try, even a little, to control their children or provide discipline. Not the case! One brother and sister were being so disruptive that I could not focus, and their parents just rolled their eyes at the kids and sat there not doing anything, even after I desperately asked for the children to sit down and please pay attention multiple times.
I have patience for the children themselves and I understand that they are young, but I get so frustrated with parents who refuse to acknowledge when there is a problem. It also puts me in a difficult position to feel like I have to "call out" the parents during class, or ask a parent to remove their child for a minute because he or she is being too disruptive. I guess I do not understand why it is so hard for a parent to recognize when their child is out of line.
Since I am new to this, I thought you might have some thoughts or tips. My main question is, how do I appropriately manage situations where a 2, 3, or 4 year old is being excessively disruptive when their parent is present but does not want to acknowledge the issue? Thanks for reading!
I recently started a new job as a nature educator and taught my first "parent and child" class of 3 and 4 year olds. There were only 8 children in the class, so I thought it would be manageable. However, right from the start of the class, a few of the children were acting up worse than I ever saw them act during my observations. Given that their parents were there with them, I expected that the parents might try, even a little, to control their children or provide discipline. Not the case! One brother and sister were being so disruptive that I could not focus, and their parents just rolled their eyes at the kids and sat there not doing anything, even after I desperately asked for the children to sit down and please pay attention multiple times.
I have patience for the children themselves and I understand that they are young, but I get so frustrated with parents who refuse to acknowledge when there is a problem. It also puts me in a difficult position to feel like I have to "call out" the parents during class, or ask a parent to remove their child for a minute because he or she is being too disruptive. I guess I do not understand why it is so hard for a parent to recognize when their child is out of line.
Since I am new to this, I thought you might have some thoughts or tips. My main question is, how do I appropriately manage situations where a 2, 3, or 4 year old is being excessively disruptive when their parent is present but does not want to acknowledge the issue? Thanks for reading!
You could just remind the child directly of the rules. "Keep your hands to yourself" or "Please listen and no talking while I'm talking". If the child does not follow the rules and the parent does not back you up, you may need to ask the parent to remove their child "under they are under control".
I'll share my worst parent ignoring their child's poor behavior incident. A four year old child was with his parents as they observed my classroom. He had been sitting next to them, then suddenly got up, ran over to my desk (which was on the other side of the room), took my ceramic coffee cup and threw it on the floor right in front of his parents. It broke into the many pieces which flew all around.
Did the parents say anything to their child? No
Did the parents say anything to me, such as I'm sorry? No
Did the parents offer to clean up the mess? No
Did the parents offer to help me once they saw me get out a broom & dustpan (so that none of the children would get cut with the broken ceramics)? No
Did the parents ever mention it again or apologize to me later? No
Ironically, once the child started in my classroom he never did anything like that again.
I saw that with young kids when a child. Basically they were in charge in the family. They were not so sure in a public situation among strangers. I think the lack of immediate reaction by parents tells that tale; really.That child was at top of family pecking order.
Ironically, once the child started in my classroom he never did anything like that again.
Thanks for replying! Honestly, this doesn't surprise me. I feel like if I was the sole "leader" figure in the group, then it might actually be easier to control the students. But when their parents are there (which they are, every class) and ignoring their bad behavior, how can I expect the child to listen to me instead of them? Seems complicated. And very frustrating.
I think the lack of immediate reaction by parents tells that tale; really.That child was at top of family pecking order.
Yes, I would agree unfortunately. I think the biggest issue is that these one or two students per class can be so disruptive that they ruin it for the other parents/children...who paid good money to be there! I feel so bad. Guess that's why I'm trying to come up with a plan!
I recently started a new job as a nature educator and taught my first "parent and child" class of 3 and 4 year olds. There were only 8 children in the class, so I thought it would be manageable. However, right from the start of the class, a few of the children were acting up worse than I ever saw them act during my observations. Given that their parents were there with them, I expected that the parents might try, even a little, to control their children or provide discipline. Not the case! One brother and sister were being so disruptive that I could not focus, and their parents just rolled their eyes at the kids and sat there not doing anything, even after I desperately asked for the children to sit down and please pay attention multiple times.
I have patience for the children themselves and I understand that they are young, but I get so frustrated with parents who refuse to acknowledge when there is a problem. It also puts me in a difficult position to feel like I have to "call out" the parents during class, or ask a parent to remove their child for a minute because he or she is being too disruptive. I guess I do not understand why it is so hard for a parent to recognize when their child is out of line.
Since I am new to this, I thought you might have some thoughts or tips. My main question is, how do I appropriately manage situations where a 2, 3, or 4 year old is being excessively disruptive when their parent is present but does not want to acknowledge the issue? Thanks for reading!
As a new presenter you may need to come up with a set of basic rules such as
Be Safe (keep your hands and feet to yourself)
Be Polite or Be Respectful (no talking while while the teacher/presenter is talking) This one can also be changed to Be Fair (listen quietly so that others can hear)
Go over the rules, directed to the children, when you start the presentation and have them posted (if it is allowed by your organization), perhaps with cute forest animals (or your main topic) or pictures from magazines of children sitting quietly and listening. Also, tell the parents that you will work together "as a team" to make this a fun learning experience for all of the children in the class.
First, remind the child directly. If they do not stop, tell the parent directly that if their child continues to "name the specific behavior" (talk too loud, hit other kids, touch the displays, etc) you will need to ask them to leave until the child is able to follow the rules so that the other children are able to hear/be safe/whatever. If you can do this semi-privately, such as coming closer to that set of parents to tell them in a whisper voice, it works better. If the child continues to disrupt the group, quietly ask the parents to remove their child for a few minutes "until they are able to listen and learn" because "it is not fair to the other children who are ready and eager to learn".
I would suggest discussing this plan with your supervisor in advance, using concrete examples, such as a child screaming & yelling or hitting others during your presentation. Also, ask your supervisor what previous educators/speakers did in similar situations.
Now, I should warn you that some parents do not ever think that their child does anything wrong so be prepared for some complaints. Because of this, I would suggest only asking that a parent remove their child for a very specific reason. If you can relate it to that child's safety (they are running and you do not want them to hit the corner of the tables and get hurt) it is even better.
After your presentation, jot down the information for future reference (asked Mrs. Smith to remove Johnny after he hit another child, then started running around the room yelling loudly "I'm a rocket". It was difficult for the other children to hear my presentation as well as being distracted by his running very close to their bodies. I was also concerned that Johnny may run into the tables and get hurt). Save the information in a private notebook, just in case Mrs. Smith makes a complaint at a later date. "The teacher was mean to Johnny and asked him to leave for no reason at all. I want my money back and the teacher fired."
Perhaps tie your "classroom rules" to the message that you are presenting. In that way you can mention the rules multiple times in your presentation (if you need to do that). This animal and that animal work together to make the forest a safe place. Or The mama raccoon teaches her babies to be nice to other raccoons so they can share fish Or whatever, is true and appropriate for your lesson (even if you may need to stretch the truth a little).
Good luck.
Last edited by germaine2626; 01-25-2015 at 08:34 AM..
Not knowing the specific behaviors you are dealing with, I do agree that this is much more difficult with parents present who do not work with you.
Since this is a nature class, do you do games? If so, I suggest that you get a copy of Follow Me Too: A Handbook of Movement Activities for Three- to Five-Year-Olds by Marianne Torbert & Lynne B. Schneider
You ought to be able to adapt the games to your curriculum and they actually address young children's ability to control their bodies and their behavior. If you can get the parents playing these games with the children, it will give them ideas that are not really *discipline* but which will curb the behavior as you play.
Not knowing the specific behaviors you are dealing with, I do agree that this is much more difficult with parents present who do not work with you.
Since this is a nature class, do you do games? If so, I suggest that you get a copy of Follow Me Too: A Handbook of Movement Activities for Three- to Five-Year-Olds by Marianne Torbert & Lynne B. Schneider
You ought to be able to adapt the games to your curriculum and they actually address young children's ability to control their bodies and their behavior. If you can get the parents playing these games with the children, it will give them ideas that are not really *discipline* but which will curb the behavior as you play.
The above is good advice. Make every second active. Even if you are giving an explanation, make it an active listening experience, eg. everyone stand like a tree or freeze like a snowball, while you give a brief explanation.
Also 3 and 4 years olds are worlds apart. Giving a list of expected behaviors or rules with 3 year olds is just white noise. Keep your talking very short. Don't let the children sit for too long and alternate a movement activity with a sitting activity. Adults don't like to stand up and sit down every 10 minutes, but for 3 year olds, 10 minutes is a long time and they need the change. Do not expect 3 year olds and early 4s to raise their hands before giving an answer. Don't put the materials for the activities in their hands while you are explaining the task. Do that after. Give the moms a task too, otherwise they'll stand around yaking to each other.
Not knowing the specific behaviors you are dealing with, I do agree that this is much more difficult with parents present who do not work with you.
Since this is a nature class, do you do games? If so, I suggest that you get a copy of Follow Me Too: A Handbook of Movement Activities for Three- to Five-Year-Olds by Marianne Torbert & Lynne B. Schneider
You ought to be able to adapt the games to your curriculum and they actually address young children's ability to control their bodies and their behavior. If you can get the parents playing these games with the children, it will give them ideas that are not really *discipline* but which will curb the behavior as you play.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coney
The above is good advice. Make every second active. Even if you are giving an explanation, make it an active listening experience, eg. everyone stand like a tree or freeze like a snowball, while you give a brief explanation.
Also 3 and 4 years olds are worlds apart. Giving a list of expected behaviors or rules with 3 year olds is just white noise. Keep your talking very short. Don't let the children sit for too long and alternate a movement activity with a sitting activity. Adults don't like to stand up and sit down every 10 minutes, but for 3 year olds, 10 minutes is a long time and they need the change. Do not expect 3 year olds and early 4s to raise their hands before giving an answer. Don't put the materials for the activities in their hands while you are explaining the task. Do that after. Give the moms a task too, otherwise they'll stand around yaking to each other.
OP, the above posts contain great suggestions.
I also like to do short songs with movement activities throughout a teaching activity. Even something a few lines long, like Grey Squirrel, Grey Squirrel Shake Your Bushy Tail (wrinkle up your little nose, put a nut between your toes, grey squirrel, grey squirrel shake your bushy tail) will get preschoolers standing and moving their bodies which will help them sit and listen a little longer after the song/movement activity. You can even make up a few short, easy songs with movements to fit your curriculum.
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