Will holding my son back benefit him? (kindergarten) (IEP, graduated, class)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My son started school at age 5 (July 2). His teacher kept saying how he was a pleasure to have in her class, that he was very active and lovable with everyone, although he had some behavior problems keeping his hands to himself at times (nothing major). He did have a speech delay, he didn't start to speak full sentences until he was at the age of 3-3 1/2. We enrolled him in private speech classes since he was 3 (he just graduated from it last week). The difference is very noticeable, you can have full conversions with him and understand everything he is saying id say since his early 5 late 4s.
However, she stated that he was still somewhat behind since he has been catching up due to his speech delay and is afraid he is going to feel clustered in 1st grade due to the amount of work that is given. Now it's the end of the year and she advised us that it might benefit him holding him back and that now would be the perfect timing to do so.
I just feel as if we hold him back in kindergarten it will not benefit him much because he is in full understanding of his letters and numbers.
He understands math very well, he communicates with everyone very well.
Pronouns all letters, adds and subtracts with little to no super vision.
He is now in the stage of learning how to read. (this might be the main reason his teacher feels thing way)
Every child is different, but statistically speaking, kindergarten retention is not usually beneficial. Studies show it has mostly negative effects - in many cases, extremely negative effects, both academically and emotionally. Studies also show that those who are behind are likely to catch up by 3rd grade. My personal experience as a teacher is that I never once saw a retention have long-term benefits. Students would start out 1st grade strong, and by the end they'd be back where they were - the bottom of the class. Some students actually had really low self-esteem as a result of retention and were difficult to help after that simply because they believed themselves to be dumb. I do remember one or two students who excelled after retention and continued to excel - one had to be bumped back up and actually skip a grade, because not only was he too advanced academically for his grade level, but he was twice as big as the other kids and that was causing him some problems. Most other students who were retained ended up with IEPs, which is what they needed to begin with but didn't get in a timely manner because the retention actually prevented them from receiving special ed services. Kinder teachers continue to recommend retention because they don't know better - they rarely keep up with what happens to those kids more than a year down the line, if at all, and most don't actually read any research. All in all, it is unlikely that your son would benefit from retention. But it's always possible he's that one in thousand or so that will.
Well, I am going to agree with the kindergarten teacher with some caveats. First, I am a high school teacher not an elementary ed. So when I see kids who have been held back, it has been quite some time usually. Those who are older for their grade are typically boys, and do have a maturity benefit compared to their peers. I have only seen 8 boys who were kept back (we are a very small school) but all of them have been wildly successful and were either the top or very close to the top of their class.
Second, I agree with the idea that retention in and of itself will likely be of limited help. It paired with a real plan to get him not only caught up but ahead of the curve would be more likely to help him. This may require you to get pushy with the school and get him an IEP, and this may want to include him going into a different teachers kindergarten class.
Finally, being that he is one of the younger kids in his grade, there will be little socially with him being held back but again, NOW is the time to get him an IEP and if it isn't needed at the end of kindergarten GREAT.
Well, I am going to agree with the kindergarten teacher with some caveats. First, I am a high school teacher not an elementary ed. So when I see kids who have been held back, it has been quite some time usually. Those who are older for their grade are typically boys, and do have a maturity benefit compared to their peers. I have only seen 8 boys who were kept back (we are a very small school) but all of them have been wildly successful and were either the top or very close to the top of their class.
Second, I agree with the idea that retention in and of itself will likely be of limited help. It paired with a real plan to get him not only caught up but ahead of the curve would be more likely to help him. This may require you to get pushy with the school and get him an IEP, and this may want to include him going into a different teachers kindergarten class.
Finally, being that he is one of the younger kids in his grade, there will be little socially with him being held back but again, NOW is the time to get him an IEP and if it isn't needed at the end of kindergarten GREAT.
Excellent response above. Not being a teacher, but the father of a child that was retained, was young in the class, AND had a speech problem I believe my opinion will have some merit.
Everyone seems pretty much in agreement that retention alone may or may not help. Where I feel your situation probably calls for leaning towards holding him back is his self-esteem. My son (who IS a teacher now) due to ear issues had a speech impediment. Coupled with being on the young side in his class just having that one extra year of maturing helped him socially, helped his attention capabilities in class, and gave him another year of speech therapy. My kid was always excellent in math, but lacked the confidence to often contribute to class discussions when he became more aware of his speech issues. The extra year helped him adjust to his situation and physically he could stand up to some of the occasional ribbing by classmates because of his speech. This teasing didn't happen in Kindergarten, but started up somewhat in the middle grade school years. It's a possibility on the horizon as kids can sometimes be cruel.
I can't tell you how many parents will ask me if their child should be retained, as they wish they had done it back in Kinder (or whenever the major issues began to appear). (By fifth grade, the discrepancy in maturity gets pretty wide.)
You have to ask yourself, "what is the WORST outcome/result if I retain", vs "what is the WORST outcome/result if we move him ahead"? If you move him ahead, will you work with him at home, or get him some extra help?
Knowing the numbers and letters is not everything, but being mature and ready to learn is. Children who know (and believe me, they KNOW the abilities of everyone in the class!) that they are not at the same level as their peers struggle not only with content, but with that knowledge that others are ahead of them.
I would ask for a meeting with the teacher and an administrator to determine the reasons they are recommending retention, what his interventions will be (in either case), and for suggestions for what you can do to help him at home.
OP: Look back to when you were in kindergarten and reflect on how you would have felt being held back. I was in kindergarten in 1959 so you should be able to get a clear picture of what it would feel like being much younger. I would work with him throughout the summer or have someone else do that to try to bring him up to speed. My husband was held back in first grade and although he isn't here to express his opinion, when it talked about it................ I never saw in school that anyone that didn't move forward to the next grade with the class benefited from that especially emotionally. Another thought is that maybe he needs an evaluation to determine if there might be another cause or help available for the behavior as that would be of concern if it continued and another year in K won't necessarily make that go away.
Is it retention for kindergarten or does your school have something in between? In my school district, they have something call pre-first. Instead of holding back the student or sending them to 1st grader and possibly have them failed, they made up pre-first.
Is it retention for kindergarten or does your school have something in between? In my school district, they have something call pre-first. Instead of holding back the student or sending them to 1st grader and possibly have them failed, they made up pre-first.
I wish more schools did that.
But as to whether to hold the child back or not - it depends on the child. This is more about his maturity than academics and since he is one of the younger ones, I can see the benefit. The kids it does not benefit are those that are intellectually struggling - their IQ is their IQ and they are much better off getting special education services that can be tailored to their needs. We kept one of my four back - that was 18 years ago - best thing we ever did. He's now a petroleum engineer.
__________________
When I post in bold red that is moderator action and, per the TOS, can only be discussed through Direct Message.
Is it retention for kindergarten or does your school have something in between? In my school district, they have something call pre-first. Instead of holding back the student or sending them to 1st grader and possibly have them failed, they made up pre-first.
Yes, yes , yes!! I'm sorry in my previous post that I didn't mention this. We had an in between class called junior first grade which my son went into. It was great. Hopefully this is available.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
