paying customers ? are we there to patronize the business or be social ? (live in, floors)

[sunnybunz]

I get customer service. I'm familiar with the concept and dont have any argument with it. In fact I think its a good idea----
What I personally have beef with and is starting to irritate me (since I moved to Texas and has gotten steady worse) is that the employees, shop owners and other service personnell like waiters and counter-help etc expect you to be cheery/bouncy back to them too.
I am not a social butterfly. I never have been accused of being "Miss Personality". I'm not a mean or hateful person, just keep to myself and reserve emotions for those towards whom I actually feel them. I myself dont often smile at a service industry personnel or store employee, unless I happen to feel a certain connection with a particular individual ( it does happen ) Other than that : I am polite and reserved and quiet. I dont respond to their attempts to engage and usually break eye contact immediately after greeting them. What floors me is that some in the service / hospitality industry seem personally hurt or offended. All because I dont smile back. All because I dont gush back, "yeah it IS a lovely day" with a inane grin. If I did that I'd feel just plain stupid ! I'm already spending money at the place of business and you will get paid every week on schedule whether we socialize or not, so why do you care and even WORSE why do you look all jaded and have long face just because I refuse to engage with you ? I dont bother with random people on the street or in public places either, I usually avoid strangers who smile or greet me unless I see a certain stranger on a regular, predictable basis. But its easier to walk past someone than it is to ignore a cashier or counter help with whom I'm stuck for at least 2 minutes, usually longer. I havent lived anyplace else where socializing seems so obligatory

EDIT : It seems to be a "white culture" thing as Blacks and (immigrant) Hispanicsdont really do that. But the Hispanics who are American in every way and speak perfect English for them, yes. Asians dont do it ether I noticed.

[theSUBlime]

It's called being civil. I'm a human, you're a human, we do human things, like not eat each other or steal one anothers' young. It's a foreign concept to people here in Boston. (These are the kind of people who could socially last on a desert island.) In fact, you might quite like it here...you just live in the wrong part of the country.

Obviously I don't have to ask you "how's your day going" or if you "find everything OK" or if you need me to help you to your car, but I do, not only because my boss is watching me, but because I want acknowledge you (well, maybe not some people). Also, it's just rude when you speak to someone and they don't speak back. I don't expect people to tell me their life story though. Sometimes I do have a genuine good laugh with people that come through my line. It makes my job easier and more enjoyable, and I'll always serve that person better than you if I ever see them again.

[blkgiraffe]

Originally Posted by sunnybunz

I get customer service. I'm familiar with the concept and dont have any argument with it. In fact I think its a good idea----
What I personally have beef with and is starting to irritate me (since I moved to Texas and has gotten steady worse) is that the employees, shop owners and other service personnell like waiters and counter-help etc expect you to be cheery/bouncy back to them too.
I am not a social butterfly. I never have been accused of being "Miss Personality". I'm not a mean or hateful person, just keep to myself and reserve emotions for those towards whom I actually feel them. I myself dont often smile at a service industry personnel or store employee, unless I happen to feel a certain connection with a particular individual ( it does happen ) Other than that : I am polite and reserved and quiet. I dont respond to their attempts to engage and usually break eye contact immediately after greeting them. What floors me is that some in the service / hospitality industry seem personally hurt or offended. All because I dont smile back. All because I dont gush back, "yeah it IS a lovely day" with a inane grin. If I did that I'd feel just plain stupid ! I'm already spending money at the place of business and you will get paid every week on schedule whether we socialize or not, so why do you care and even WORSE why do you look all jaded and have long face just because I refuse to engage with you ? I dont bother with random people on the street or in public places either, I usually avoid strangers who smile or greet me unless I see a certain stranger on a regular, predictable basis. But its easier to walk past someone than it is to ignore a cashier or counter help with whom I'm stuck for at least 2 minutes, usually longer. I havent lived anyplace else where socializing seems so obligatory

EDIT : It seems to be a "white culture" thing as Blacks and (immigrant) Hispanicsdont really do that. But the Hispanics who are American in every way and speak perfect English for them, yes. Asians dont do it ether I noticed.

It's part of the job. As a waitress; being respectable and social increases their tips. At my old job [grocery store]; greeting and striking up a conversation with customers was a must or we could be wrote up. Don't mind them and most likely they'd rather not be socializing with you as well; it's just simply part of their job duties. A simple Hi, thank you and bye will suffice. You don't have to engage in a conversation with them.

[BigDGeek]

I assume if a clerk engages me in conversation, it's because it's their job to do so. I politely greet them when I'm greeted but I don't usually converse with them at length, usually because I'm not in a mood to hang around and I know they have other things to do. I'd rather they say hello than totally ignore me or be rude to me, which is what usually happens.

[neddy]

In Texas folks do make small talk and try to be friendly to each other. For some it's their job as the other posted said for some its just something they might have been taught to do. In other parts of the country people could careless about the attitude you have and how you are treating them..here its somewhat different. Stop going out if it bothers you that much otherwise its something you are going to have to put up with here in Texas. I know lots of folks would consider it good service to engage in small talk.

[TexasHorseLady]

What neddy said - here in Texas, we're just friendly and we interact with our fellow man even if we don't know them all that well - they're human beings, after all, just like we are. Now, I don't recall having seen anyone being frowned upon if they're not responsive to that in a check out line, nor have I been treated badly on those rare occasions when for one reason or another I'm not feeling perky (though if it's a clerk that I see often, who likely knows my name, some concern may be expressed).

It's simply a way of making the world a little more pleasant, using the grease that eases the way between people, making a business transaction something between two human beings rather than something between two machines. Nothing threatening at all, though it does take folks from some other places aback when they first get here. Most of them come to like it; it may be that you won't be one of those ones, however, since from your post you seem to almost consider a friendly comment or smile as an assault.

[getmeoutofhere]

I'm not overly friendly back to people, nor am I unfriendly. Mostly neutral. I've never been treated worse by waitstaff or service people before, but a lot of regular people seem put off by it.

[sunnybunz]

Originally Posted by theSUBlime

It's called being civil. I'm a human, you're a human, we do human things, like not eat each other or steal one anothers' young. It's a foreign concept to people here in Boston. (These are the kind of people who could socially last on a desert island.) In fact, you might quite like it here...you just live in the wrong part of the country.

Obviously I don't have to ask you "how's your day going" or if you "find everything OK" or if you need me to help you to your car, but I do, not only because my boss is watching me, but because I want acknowledge you (well, maybe not some people). Also, it's just rude when you speak to someone and they don't speak back. I don't expect people to tell me their life story though. Sometimes I do have a genuine good laugh with people that come through my line. It makes my job easier and more enjoyable, and I'll always serve that person better than you if I ever see them again.

THAT alone is reason to write you up ! And any competent manager surely would !! You dont serve paying customers better or worse b/c of how chatty or "friendly" they are. I"m not saying they hve any right to be a rudeass, but if they are aloof and distant thats THEIR choice and you giving them less than diligent attention and stellar service is a bad reflection of your employer.....

[sunnybunz]

Originally Posted by TexasHorseLady

What neddy said - here in Texas, we're just friendly and we interact with our fellow man even if we don't know them all that well - they're human beings, after all, just like we are. Now, I don't recall having seen anyone being frowned upon if they're not responsive to that in a check out line, nor have I been treated badly on those rare occasions when for one reason or another I'm not feeling perky (though if it's a clerk that I see often, who likely knows my name, some concern may be expressed).

It's simply a way of making the world a little more pleasant, using the grease that eases the way between people, making a business transaction something between two human beings rather than something between two machines. Nothing threatening at all, though it does take folks from some other places aback when they first get here. Most of them come to like it; it may be that you won't be one of those ones, however, since from your post you seem to almost consider a friendly comment or smile as an assault.

Nope, just a tad invasive.....unless I'm at a cocktail party or BBQ....but I was referring to random strangers on the street...

[theSUBlime]

Originally Posted by sunnybunz

THAT alone is reason to write you up ! And any competent manager surely would !! You dont serve paying customers better or worse b/c of how chatty or "friendly" they are. I"m not saying they hve any right to be a rudeass, but if they are aloof and distant thats THEIR choice and you giving them less than diligent attention and stellar service is a bad reflection of your employer.....

Nope, it's not. I'm not saying it's based on how chatty they are, but I tend to make better friends with people who are pleasant and I just tend to work harder for those folks. They're just more memorable. Perpetually aloof people, just don't make the cut, specially if you're on your cellphone. We don't have to be best friends, but common courtesy goes a long way.

It's not a noticeable difference, just one you'll have to deal with. It's certainly not a reflection of my employer, but a reflection of myself. I'm more talking about the people who don't appreciate you doing them a favor. I might say I'll go check something for you, but just because I see your product sitting in the corner and its underneath a trillion boxes, doesn't mean I have to grab it for you. I probably should, since you have the money and all, but it's just MY choice.

There are the great regulars, the regulars we don't care for, and the rest. Everyone's on equal footing the first time, but after that we tend to notice a trend. Try reading Waiter Rant by Steve Dublanika. Great book.

Seriously though, you would enjoy it here in Boston, MA. You say "hi" to some people and they look at you like you have 3 heads.