Tech workers now doubting decision to move from California to Texas (San Antonio: home, purchase)
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Plenty of people even in CA where I live also don’t like laws promoting transgenderism either. I was with my buddy yesterday that was complaining about the doctor was asking what his 5 year old identified as. I was at a large gay wedding recently and there were no transgenders. In fact, a lot of gays I know don’t like that group and transgenders are one of the most economically marginalized groups all over the US including in CA. In fact, working professional jobs for many years with thousands of people I don’t think I ever worked with a transgender person. But I see a fair number in low level jobs around the Bay Area.
Indian tech workers tend to be quite conservative actually and not terribly thrilled with laws like the current in CA that forbids parents from seeing their teenagers medical records (so they can get abortions and hormonal treatment without parental consent). A lot of Indian tech hubs in the Bay Area voted a solid 1/3 for Trump. Among higher income programmers and engineers they’re often far more conservative. Most the hardcore liberals around here seem to be students, government workers and low income households.
My daughter had a friend over yesterday. They are transgender. Born a girl, identifies as a boy. They have been friends for many years. Now both are going to different colleges. As we had dinner, they (I think that's right?) wanted to become an accountant and there were many questions. When they were younger, conversations were like a bunch of loaded land mines waiting for the wrong thing to be said. That improved over time. They were surprised when I had older books on collective bargaining, union history and a very old copy of The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. Yet I was a capitalist. Even allowing for a little bit of discourse.
Anyway, I couldn't help noting they had changed a few things at this dinner. For one, they had hit a growth spurt quite late, perhaps because they were now eating...relishing really...meat. While they may think of themselves as he....it was obvious that the she had adopted a rather cute feminine haircut, was no longer binding their chest, and had painted nails. Gone were any traces of collectivism or gotchas. Seems college may have taught they that no matter what there's decency in just enjoying each other's company.
I didn't ask and they didn't tell if there were any differences.....but I can't help but suspect that maybe a lot of that rhetoric was left in high school and they were growing up and seeing different things as important.
It is important that we accept everyone....but it's also important to realize that at young ages children are impressionable as well.
My daughter had a friend over yesterday. They are transgender. Born a girl, identifies as a boy. They have been friends for many years. Now both are going to different colleges. As we had dinner, they (I think that's right?) wanted to become an accountant and there were many questions. When they were younger, conversations were like a bunch of loaded land mines waiting for the wrong thing to be said. That improved over time. They were surprised when I had older books on collective bargaining, union history and a very old copy of The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. Yet I was a capitalist. Even allowing for a little bit of discourse.
Anyway, I couldn't help noting they had changed a few things at this dinner. For one, they had hit a growth spurt quite late, perhaps because they were now eating...relishing really...meat. While they may think of themselves as he....it was obvious that the she had adopted a rather cute feminine haircut, was no longer binding their chest, and had painted nails. Gone were any traces of collectivism or gotchas. Seems college may have taught they that no matter what there's decency in just enjoying each other's company.
I didn't ask and they didn't tell if there were any differences.....but I can't help but suspect that maybe a lot of that rhetoric was left in high school and they were growing up and seeing different things as important.
It is important that we accept everyone but it's also important to realize that at young ages children are impressionable as well.
I agree 100% with the bolded part. (Especially if one calls themselves “pro-life”, wouldn’t you think all lives, living ones included, should be accepted no matter what?)
I’m not as radical as my husband on the issue of transgenderism. I happened to know a lot of gay men viewing transgenderism as a form of homophobic (if you think about it it kind of is.) which is why many opposed the T to be included in LGBTQ. At the end of the day though, I’m a live and let live type, I do think (as a parent) that anything medically invasive done to children needs to be carefully monitored, regulated and supervised.
Our frontal lobe isn’t fully matured until the age of 25, children going through so many phases in their growing both physically and mentally, parents need to safe-guard their right, their decision-making (due to the immature frontal lobe which is responsible for decision making.) and what they do to their anatomy. However I can understand and sympathize if someone feels “trapped” in their birthed gender. I can’t relate, but at least I can respect and mind my own business.
just like so many people use “tech” as a broad term, transgenderism is now confusing because the definition seems to be broader and broader. My limited understanding is that if a person is biologically a woman but identifies as a male but without the medical procedure this person is considered Non-binary and therefore a “they”?! I have a few friends whose children identify as “they” (and changed their given names to something more gender neutral.) but as far as I know of they are still anatomical female.-does that make them transgenders? I’m confused and under-informed.
I don’t call this “wokism” though (what a lazy term for lazy thinking people.) just because it’s not something I can relate or think matters to my personal life. However like you said, it’s important that we accept everyone. Accepting differences (however uncomfortable it makes one feels.) is not “wokism”, from how I was raised, it’s called human decency.
I agree 100% with the bolded part. (Especially if one calls themselves “pro-life”, wouldn’t you think all lives, living ones included, should be accepted no matter what?)
I’m not as radical as my husband on the issue of transgenderism. I happened to know a lot of gay men viewing transgenderism as a form of homophobic (if you think about it it kind of is.) which is why many opposed the T to be included in LGBTQ. At the end of the day though, I’m a live and let live type, I do think (as a parent) that anything medically invasive done to children needs to be carefully monitored, regulated and supervised.
Our frontal lobe isn’t fully matured until the age of 25, children going through so many phases in their growing both physically and mentally, parents need to safe-guard their right, their decision-making (due to the immature frontal lobe which is responsible for decision making.) and what they do to their anatomy. However I can understand and sympathize if someone feels “trapped” in their birthed gender. I can’t relate, but at least I can respect and mind my own business.
just like so many people use “tech” as a broad term, transgenderism is now confusing because the definition seems to be broader and broader. My limited understanding is that if a person is biologically a woman but identifies as a male but without the medical procedure this person is considered Non-binary and therefore a “they”?! I have a few friends whose children identify as “they” (and changed their given names to something more gender neutral.) but as far as I know of they are still anatomical female.-does that make them transgenders? I’m confused and under-informed.
I don’t call this “wokism” though (what a lazy term for lazy thinking people.) just because it’s not something I can relate or think matters to my personal life. However like you said, it’s important that we accept everyone. Accepting differences (however uncomfortable it makes one feels.) is not “wokism”, from how I was raised, it’s called human decency.
Mam, with all due respect...
'No matter what' This term irks me, because it implies that they are generally entitled to act out in any way, including ways that may be unfair (and trust me, they do - they are very quick to call sexists statements to otherwise legitimate concerns) with little to no repercussions, only because the way they identify. That is called entitlement, not progression. Do my feelings toward their actions not count only because the way they identify? If not let me ask you this:
If a someone sat by me and I genuinely greeted him and he quickly corrected me and told me he was a female of which I apologized for and he or she, quickly escalates it into a dispute (insecurity) and through the entire dispute, they call me a he, exclusively and consistently accusing me of not being open minded to his (her?) transgenderism all awhile not once asking how I identify myself (continuously calling me a male, without regard that I might also identify as a female), wouldn't that be a tiny bit.. ..self centered? Do you see that the character flaw here has nothing to do with transgenderism but rather self centeredness in the aspect that its about what 'they' identify as and how 'they' feel about what society feels about them and not about what 'you' feel about their actions?
What if that same person, who is biologically a male entered the womens restroom, making biological females feel uncomfortable about their presence or intentions? Why is that inherently evil when we have two restrooms for biological men and women for a reason? If the fathers of said daughters raised a complaint about the safety and considerations of their daughters are they inherently not open minded when it comes to the consideration and safety of their offspring? They have legitimate concerns and said daughters / nor fathers should have those beliefs forced upon them. Yet once more we complain when certain religious beliefs are imposed upon the population, not once do these people stop to take a break to think what beliefs they are imposing on other people, once again.. ..self centeredness..
Should a woman who was raised all her life with religious ideologies who refused to marry a transgender couple be demeaned because her beliefs strongly advise against it and be prosecuted only because she was raised to believe her religion? Do people who protect their transgender position ever step out to think that there are more people that have different beliefs and values than themselves? because what they are asking for is 'not' equality.. ..it is priority.
And yes, it is wokism. The reason wokism has so much lashback is because wokists believe that their live let live attitude makes them better people than anyone with altering beliefs, yet are just as close minded to altering opinions as the people they accuse.
Last edited by Need4Camaro; 09-16-2023 at 05:13 PM..
'No matter what' This term irks me, because it implies that they are generally entitled to act out in any way, including ways that may be unfair (and trust me, they do - they are very quick to call sexists statements to otherwise legitimate concerns) with little to no repercussions, only because the way they identify. That is called entitlement, not progression. Do my feelings toward their actions not count only because the way they identify? If not let me ask you this:
If a someone sat by me and I genuinely greeted him and he quickly corrected me and told me he was a female of which I apologized for and he or she, quickly escalates it into a dispute (insecurity) and through the entire dispute, they call me a he, exclusively and consistently accusing me of not being open minded to his (her?) transgenderism all awhile not once asking how you identify yourself (continuously calling you a male, without regard that you might also identify as a female), wouldn't that be a tiny bit.. ..self centered? Do you see that the character flaw here has nothing to do with transgenderism but rather self centeredness in the aspect that its about what 'they' identify as and how 'they' feel about what society feels about them and not about what 'you' feel about their actions?
What if that same person, who is biologically a male entered the womens restroom, making biological females feel uncomfortable about their presence or intentions? Why is that inherently evil when we have two restrooms for biological men and women for a reason? If the fathers of said daughters raised a complaint about the safety and considerations of their daughters are they inherently not open minded when it comes to the consideration and safety of their offspring? They have legitimate concerns and said daughters / nor fathers should have those beliefs forced upon them. Yet once more we complain when certain religious beliefs are imposed upon the population, not once do these people stop to take a break to think what beliefs they are imposing on other people, once again.. ..self centeredness..
Should a woman who was raised all her life with religious ideologies who refused to marry a transgender couple be demeaned because her beliefs strongly advise against it and be prosecuted only because she was raised to believe her religion? Do people who protect their transgender position ever step out to think that there are more people that have different beliefs and values than themselves? because what they are asking for is 'not' equality.. ..it is priority.
And yes, it is wokism. The reason wokism has so much lashback is because wokists believe that their live let live attitude makes them better people than anyone with altering beliefs, yet are just as close minded to altering opinions as the people they accuse.
You’re over-analyzing even with such short three words “no matter what”. If this irked you this much I can see why the topic of transgenderism touched a nerve.
Like I said I’m not radical in my opinions of the transgenderism. I found calling “they” or having to make sure the preferred pronouns part quite exhausting. For the record I actually very much oppose children getting hormone blockers and all kinds of procedures before they are physically and mentally/emotionally mature. But in the same argument with all things sensitive and touchy, they and their parents can come back “their body their choice”. If it were my own child, I would have done anything to make sure it’s not hasty nor permanent. I also wouldn’t doubt some of these are either “virtual signaling” or some people trying to court attention because most “normal” people don’t wake up one day and decide they are going to go out of their way (and it’s A LOT of work to transform your gender/anatomy.) to become a completely different gender. It can be very well an underlying sign of mental illness. However to ME, in the big scheme of things, having to be mindful with others’ pronouns is still a minor annoyance or inconvenience, im not having my days ruined because of that.
“Live and let live” doesn’t mean I think I’m better than others. It just means I’m not that intense and don’t allow myself to get carried away when it comes to certain things. Maybe it’s the sheer luck or some dumb privilege, but no I don’t think in my case it’s “wokism”. And even if it’s still considered “wokism” by you or others, it’s not from a morally superior nor socially arrogant place. NIMBY? Could be. But never arrogance and obnoxious Yuppie hypocrisy.
We all pick our battle, we all have our struggles in our personal lives or upbringing, one way or another. I care far more about animal welfare (because they can’t defend themselves.) and children’s emotional well-being and self-esteem (an area that is dear to me.) so transgenderism is something I can’t relate and quite frankly don’t understand all that well, but it’s not something I personally get angry about.
The link that you shared with little girl (heartbreaking) who was sexually assaulted by the transgender peer: we need to make sure school security and the safety protocol of any public bathroom, period, This can, unfortunately , be from female predators as well so not exactly the issue of transgenderism. Sex crimes have no gender bias nor gender discrimination, as heartbreaking as it is to even discuss it as a mother with a daughter.
Happy to agree to disagree here.
Last edited by achtung baby; 09-16-2023 at 06:25 PM..
Reason: Typos
I agree 100% with the bolded part. (Especially if one calls themselves “pro-life”, wouldn’t you think all lives, living ones included, should be accepted no matter what?)
Ultimately we're tribal creatures. "Acceptance", in whatever context, passes through the lens of tribal self-identification, of core postulate and taboos. When relocating, we hope to land in a locale where our own tribe is well-represented, if not outright dominant. Sometimes the representation is sparser than advertised; and so, we become disappointed.
Reasonable people can transcend their tribal identity, forming cordial relations, and indeed even friendships, with persons outside of the metaphorical tribe. But this introduces strain. It takes mental energy to overcome said identity, leaving less available energy to be present, for the friendship, or for enjoyment of the new environment. This is why so often immigrants seek their own ethno-linguistic community. To some extent, techy transplants from California are "immigrants", are they not?
I've lived in CA my whole life, 4th generation, and have known plenty of people who moved here from out of state only to doubt and regret their decision. Many move away after a few years, kinda like the "move to Texas" folks. It happens in every state, all the time, and CA isn't special in that regard.
I've known a few, but COL in California has gone up so much that they can't go back
Quote:
Originally Posted by Du Ma
you mean females in conservative cities/states don't have to share a restroom with "woman" named Kaitlyn with full a beard and a visible adam's apple and pee standing up?
yeah, it's horrible indeed
I mean if it bothers you that much why not move to Texas. Non issue for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
In Dallas, the most consecutive days over 100 degrees happened in 2011, and after that, I think it was some time in the 1980s. 2023 didn't show up till #4.
Austin isn't the largest city at ALL in Texas. Just a reminder. Houston, which had 18 consecutive days of 100 degrees or more, is the largest city.
2011 was the hottest year on record for Austin. There were 74 days when it was over 100 degrees. Before that, it was 1925 with 69 days.
Houston's heat index was worse than Austin's
Quote:
Originally Posted by stablegenius
Which shows even more just how insecure the original poster is, because they posted it there, knowing they would get nothing but agreeable comments from fellow Californians.
"how insecure are you if you post this in a Texas thread? What's that, it was posted in the California thread and then moved over here? wow, you're extra insecure!!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by ParaguaneroSwag
Or in a more general sense, the fact that for every person leaving Texas, there’s still more coming in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by apple92680
Even in California, I don't know anybody who has had to "share a bathroom" with a trans person. That's what single-person, unisex bathrooms are for.
It's really bizarre how fixated you right-wingers are on bathrooms and trans people's genitalia. Of all the things that a person could be worried about, you pick that????
This is why your states are economic sh*holes and unproductive!
Live and let live, as long as I agree with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stone26
Oh, the CA forum is full of people that hate CA. The OP probably got a friendlier reception here.
Yea Californians in general aren't as rosy about their states as Texans and other southerners
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julio July
GOOD!!!! Stop coming!!!!
Houston and Dallas will need Californians if they want to pass Chicago in population.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant
Ultimately we're tribal creatures. "Acceptance", in whatever context, passes through the lens of tribal self-identification, of core postulate and taboos. When relocating, we hope to land in a locale where our own tribe is well-represented, if not outright dominant. Sometimes the representation is sparser than advertised; and so, we become disappointed.
Reasonable people can transcend their tribal identity, forming cordial relations, and indeed even friendships, with persons outside of the metaphorical tribe. But this introduces strain. It takes mental energy to overcome said identity, leaving less available energy to be present, for the friendship, or for enjoyment of the new environment. This is why so often immigrants seek their own ethno-linguistic community. To some extent, techy transplants from California are "immigrants", are they not?
Agreed. That's why most of the Californians that leave for Texas tend to lean right, maybe not as right as most Texans but right nonetheless
Ultimately we're tribal creatures. "Acceptance", in whatever context, passes through the lens of tribal self-identification, of core postulate and taboos. When relocating, we hope to land in a locale where our own tribe is well-represented, if not outright dominant. Sometimes the representation is sparser than advertised; and so, we become disappointed.
Reasonable people can transcend their tribal identity, forming cordial relations, and indeed even friendships, with persons outside of the metaphorical tribe. But this introduces strain. It takes mental energy to overcome said identity, leaving less available energy to be present, for the friendship, or for enjoyment of the new environment. This is why so often immigrants seek their own ethno-linguistic community. To some extent, techy transplants from California are "immigrants", are they not?
I like your analogy but you’re asking the wrong person. I’m one of the outliners who actually make a conscious effort to stay away from my own “tribe”. (I’m currently in the country I was born in, and I couldn’t feel more like I’m in a foreign country. Long story but I digress.)
I was responding to the poster who mentioned the transgender friend of his/her daughter re. “acceptance” by the way. Apology for being dense since I’m still very jet legged and have been up all night trying to adjust the 13 hrs time difference.-does the “acceptance” of whoever people are is interpreted by you as it’s related to the California tech workers in Texas or is it more related to the attitude of the said tech workers (some) towards transgenderism law?! I’m failing to see the connection.
I take people exactly as they are, (and expect people to (hopefully) do the same.) if it helps clarifying my comment of “acceptance”.
For what it’s worth, I moved 3 states in the past 4 yrs, I lived in 3 continents by the time I was 19, never did I seek out my own “tribe”, I met people all throughout as life occurred.-even more so now that I’m older and wiser. So either I’m irritatingly secure or wisely staying away from gossips and cliques.
I agree 100% with the bolded part. (Especially if one calls themselves “pro-life”, wouldn’t you think all lives, living ones included, should be accepted no matter what?)
snip
This topic has nothing to do with tech workers regret. I don't know how all these controversial topics sneak into regular forums then finally someone get "punished" for it when it gets to serious.
I assume you're not familiar with the topic if you think it's about "Acceptance" but I get it. It's a crack about Republicans.
Here's are basic some issues that are being debated by honest people including LGBT people:
There is no such thing as "Non Binary". And certainly not 32 (and growing) "genders". They/Thems can live their lives as butch females or effeminate males wihtout inventing a whole new "faux science".
The general public is not responsible for memorizing the pronouns of every individual they ever meet. Therefore, outrageous meltdowns and aggressive acts are inappropriate. So is the demand that employees acquiese or be disciplined and accused for having some hateful underlying motive. And certainly if you're presenting as a fully feminine female and someone calls you ma'am, you are completely out of line to have an unhinged meltdown because you think the person should know you "identify" as a man. YES this actually happens. Just this week AAMAF.
Children cannot consent to permanent medical physical and mental changes. Cross sex hormones and blockers are NOT "reversable". And as we saw in the case of Jazz can be VERY harmful and actually make a true transsexual transition later IMPOSSIBLE or barely successful.
Schools have NO authority to introduce gender ideology, groom their pupils, and trans children behind the parents' backs. The documentaries of true stories "Groomed" and "Damaged" on The Daily Caller site are recommended.
School personel have NO authority to work around policies or laws they disagree with concerning sex and gender topics SUCH AS bragging about coming in dressed like a man with a beard one day and coming in dressed as Snow White female the next day and thinking it's so HILARIOUS when the first grade student is totally confused. YES you can see ALL THIS TRASH on Tik Tok, the new cesspool that replaced Tumblr.
Children are being trans'd at young ages before having the time necessary to go through puberty and mature and even get psychotherapy to rule out other conditions. Very VERY and MOST often what they thought was gender dysphoria or "wrong body" resolves. Even to the point where the person can become transsexual or not...with a BETTER UNDERSTANDING of what's going on.
People who would be Lesbians and gay boys are being trans'd instead when they can be PERFECTLY HAPPY and SUCCESSFUL living their lives as effeminate boys or masculine girls or at least be given time to reach their OWN conclusion as adults. This is a form of homophobia.
The MAJORITY of these skyrocketing numbers of newly minted alleged Trans individuals (especially social contagion young girls) have primary mental health disorders and claim gender dysphoria /or this DRIVE to be some other gender is secondary. They are experiencing maladaptive coping strategies. Primarily Autism but also BPC, OCD, ADHD, PTSD, medicalization, extensive unsupervised exposure to the internet and porn, se@ual abuse, physical abuse, etc.
The Medical trans activists (which has become big business) IGNORE the potential primary DX and they throw the "informed consent" paper at them to absolve them from professional responsibility and pretend gender dysphoria is ALWAYS "wrong body" which is a LIE. NO treatment is given except to affirm. All the young girls going into clinics and getting cross sex hormones IN ONE VISIT are telling the same tale. PROUDLY. They threaten the parents with unaliving themselves. and claim they have gender dysphoria. HOWEVER anyone who ever HAD gender dysphoria can tell you why it's highly unlikely they actually DO because true gender dysphoria is too painful and debilitating to go spending all day posting pic of yourself on TikTok when you typically don't want ANYONE to see you.
MUCH of what's being presented is Autogynephila - aggressive OR secretive AGPs - a paraphila having nothing to do with true Transsexualism but could result in a transition.
Biological males are pushing biological females out of female spaces including costing them scholarships, and other tangible financial compensation. And that's not even discussing their mental state AND what's involved in being forced to share locker rooms with proud bio males.
I'll stop there but there's plenty more.
Now define "accepted" if you want but I'm not going to argue it - somehow this came up on my screen so I thought I could help educate everyone who's really not in the loop on the topic.
And if you want to actuall HEAR it from the community, I suggest Marcus Dib Transsexual FTM, Blaire White Transsexual MTF, Buck Angel 60 year old Transsexual FTM, (none of whom chose bottom surgery BTW and say they are "living life" as the other gender"), and Ariella Scarcella, Lesbian. They all have youTube channels with very large followings in the hundreds of thousands or millions. Marcus is particularly clear speaking on the topic and he's from Denmark.
Or any of the DeTranisitioners including the young women who testified at Congress, the very VERY famous Purple Heart and Bronze Star retired Seal Chris Beck and others.
Read his story HERE where the VA doc prescribed him cross sex hormones after ONE HOUR when in fact he is probably AGP (he's not sure yet).
“I’m not transgender ... I’m probably something else. I don’t know what it is,” Beck said in the podcast.
Beck said the experience “destroyed his life,” and he now wants to speak out against what he said is not only the normalization of changing gender identity in American teens but the popularization of gender therapies.
“Do whatever you want if you are over the age of 25. ... If you are 25 or older, go do surgeries, go do everything you want, you are an adult,” Beck said. “[But] 13-year olds should not have to unpack this.”
I assume you're not familiar with the topic if you think it's about "Acceptance" but I get it. It's a crack about Republicans.
TL;DR
I’m not pro or anti transgenders. I do not care enough to have a stance. I was simply responding to a poster’s comment about their daughter’s Trans friend and “acceptance”.
Btw not all pro-lifers are Republicans.
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