Why You Should Say 'Hello' to Strangers on the Street - Atlantic Cities (how much)

[JF20007]

Okay first of all I'm not a troll who just goes from site to site to site and never comes back so I hope you guys won't assume that. I'll do my best to make some more comments on the site but I am new.

[url=http://www.theatlanticcities.com/neighborhoods/2012/06/why-you-should-say-hello-strangers-street/2141/]Why You Should Say 'Hello' to Strangers on the Street - Neighborhoods - The Atlantic Cities[/url]

So I've lived in DC for 6 months and while I feel like this article is interesting and I love The Atlantic Cities website I just can't force myself to look past some of the obvious reasons that never get mentioned as reasons for things like DC people being unfriendly etc.

First and foremost the atmosphere here is obviously toxic for friendliness, i.e. partisan politics, far left and right non profit and political groups etc. I get that. But since I've been here, I have constantly been bombarded on the street by everyone from aggressive and crafty beggars to insulting and extremely invasive tactical solicitation by groups like Planned Parenthood, all trying to cash in on the ever popular American tradition of seeing people as dollar signs and opportunities, instead of neighbors and fellow citizens.

I've taken notice of people's strategies for avoiding the daily guiltfest and its really just sad to me. People are worn out after working 8 hours all day only to be cornered by someone who could care less about them as a human being. I feel like people are actually more sympathetic and understanding than they often should be.

The bottom line is I just don't get why we can't acknowledge that this is a real reason why people are literally trained to walk down the street and look straight ahead. Just making eye contact with the wrong person means more times than not, inquiries about whether you care about the environment to if you have a spare cigarette to sell. I've been to other cities and its not this bad and places like Atlanta have even banned solicitation to strangers.

The story IS NOT just that DC people are jerks. I am so tired of Planned Parenthood I often feel like planning their parenthood's for them, yet I understand they are just people out there trying to make a living. I actually saw a lady get cussed out by a frustrated "Street Sense" guy at the Dupont Circle station just last month but nobody else seems to be all too bothered by this. Let your guard down for a few seconds or stop and look around at your surroundings and someone is ready to pounce in this city it seems.

I just think we need to stop seeing each other as an opportunity or a shortcut. After 6 months of intensely watching people and actions, I find the city's unique situation as an intense political environment as the sole reason for its rudeness reputation to just be a complete denial of what we all know we see everyday.

What's the solution? There really is no single one, but not even addressing what to me is an obvious element of society is sort of ridiculous if you ask me.

[Tiger Beer]

Pretty good reasons to me!

But, yeah, in any large city, the people approaching and saying hello, 999 times out of 1000, have other motives than 'just being friendly'.

Plus, it's a city. You make friends in other venues, not while walking down a crowded street with 100s of random people around you.

That being said, I'd imagine in many of the very established black neighborhoods, you'd probably encounter many people in those communities who'd share the same 'back home' characteristics of greeting people they've long been familiar with.

[killabunnies]

Huh. I disagree that politics have anything to do with it, you can't guess what team someone is on just by looking at them.

One of the first things I noticed when I moved here from San Francisco was how friendly people were (SF is one of the most isolated, unfriendly places on the planet in my experience). Not people wanting anything from me, just random people. Now, I was in PG County when I first moved and live east of the river now - especially here EOTR, I do not pass a single neighbor who does not say "good morning" or "hey how you doing?"... Same goes for randoms I encounter on the streets around my place. I did have to laugh yesterday when a little boy walked by and asked my boyfriend and me "are you the police?"...

I was raised in a predominantly black neighborhood in Milwaukee (I was one of maybe 4 or 5 white kids in my class) and wonder how much of that upbringing dictates how I behave on the street now. All I know is that when I'm home EOTR, we say hello to each other. I guess now that I think of it people don't do that as much downtown or on H St but I am also usually in more of a rush when I'm in those areas versus just hanging out around my house. I do most of my shopping in PG County since it's closer and have to say everyone is friendly there too, I'm always getting into random conversations at the grocery store or with the girls that work at the pet store but I'm also really outgoing. So... I know I'm asking for it in this forum but is it a racial thing?

I don't understand where your feelings are coming from, what kind of neighborhood are you in where just 6 months would leave you with that horrible impression of this town? It sounds like you're being terrorized by Planned Parenthood - I haven't even seen that. Not saying it doesn't exist, just wondering.

I walk quickly and am used to dodging San Francisco crackheads on every corner so maybe that's why I don't get accosted by canvassers trying to get my signature but the worst I've ever had to deal with is saying "nah bro" to some guy asking for a buck.

[Bluefly]

Is it safe to assume this is your first time living in an urban environment? This behavior is common in every major city around the world. Despite what seems obvious to you, it actually has nothing to do with politics or wealth or DC. I pass many who are clearly working class or immigrants who don't acknowledge others.

It takes a lot of energy and focus to say hi to strangers all day. I do sometimes but certainly don't want to be so rude as to intrude in their lives just so I can feel like they know I exist.

[BigCityDreamer]

There's a reason they're called strangers.

[yamota]

the 1950s called, they want their hellos back

[PhenomenalAJ]

Say hello to strangers because your body has less holes than you'd prefer

[j_cat]

If anything, I found DC to have a few more random greetings than most places, and I found it somewhat intrusive.

The reality, everywhere, is that we are gradually becoming a more individualist and less group-oriented society, and some of us think that's sort of a good thing. There are times and places to be highly social, and then there are times and places when it is optional but far from necessary. And you definitely want to respect other people's boundaries in terms of how much or how little they want to interact.