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Lots of people getting the diagnosis early then throw in the towel even though they're above average smart. Seen quite a few of those examples myself when the diagnosis becomes the excuse for not doing difficult things, because "there's something wrong with me". That is one weird entitlement and it's so sad, because quite a few people ruin their lives in that victimology and become über-depressed because "people can't accept me as I am". I think of one person in particular whom I knew from being stuffed into "Aspie groups" in school by my parents (not sure why), she was so bright, clever, socialised well et cetera when she was seven way back, yet 10 years later she had failed at everything because she fell into this victim mentality and from then on she had no future.
Then there are people like myself and others that don't feel the need to constantly blame Asperger for everything that happens to us, try and adapt and don't need the attention. Today at 25 I give the impression of being a completely normal person to 99 % of people. Why? Because I've not cried in my bed for 20 years and instead gone out of my way to adapt. Granted mine is exceptionally mild, but it's still miserable because I've seen so much in school around fellow Aspies and how so many smart people fall by the wayside over the years. I'd estimate max 20 % of Aspies ever make uni, in spite of our average intelligence likely being higher than the others. Because of my attitude of adaptation and sheer will I made it through the bachelors and now am doing a masters with good results. Granted Aspie messes with one's head sometimes, but I can keep it to myself and overcome and not let other people feel it.
What I don't like is people making generalised assumptions about how "we" are. If anyone of you ever met me you wouldn't notice a thing except that I'd appear very knowledgeable and perhaps trying to avoid talking if I had a bad day
I don't know, the only thing I would say is that it's been quite a challenge to live in England with their negative attitude towards disabilities.
For example, I went out with a 'friend' (I suppose maybe you could call him that now?) on Saturday and members of the public were disgustingly intolerant of him and his behaviour! He has the same disability and does indeed appear normal, the issue he has is that he sometimes can't control the magnitude of his voice. He also has this weird laugh which draws even more attention, THAT was kinda mortifying because his laugh really IS weird.
Anyway, I guess what I mean is that a lot of people on various occasions throughout the day would look at him/stare or plain out avoid him! At one point I noticed an old woman ran to the other side of the street when we were talking, which was kinda hurtful I have say! (He noticed it aswell so it's not in my head.)
But, then tbh you've got those other people with Aspergers who are so blatantly obvious that it can't be hid. The most extreme cases are quite a challenge, not in the sense that they can't live an independent life, more that they don't observe even the most BASIC social ques/social norms. For example, there is a club on tonight for the condition, I will not be attending tonight because of a NEW member who is inappropriate/hard to deal with! Why is this member hard to deal with? Well, he only talks about his special interest (which is card games ), he stares at people (so he doesn't observe natural eye contact, so it's not look over and look away, it's a constant stare.), he seems self absorbed, he changes the conversation back to himself anytime someone dares to interrupt him, he chats in monologues AND he doesn't let ANYONE get a word in edgeways! It does sound as though I am ranting about this guy, (it may look like this) but he is woefully hard to deal with. And I'm afraid, I personally don't get anything out of such a social group! I prefer to attend groups where people are tolerant and empathetic. I am not going to attend a social group where ONE person takes a hold of the group!
IDK, I guess i'm more frustrated at him (and others) and their complete lack of willingness to change!! I don't think some who are diagnosed make the effort to try and 'correct' their issues (as described above), this is fine when they are in their teens but not something that is easy to tolerate or handle when they get into their 20's.
I mean how is someone who comes across as self absorbed/interrupts conversations/STARES/has no empathy etc supposed to hold down an office job? How are people expected to tolerate such a person?
Last edited by GymFanatic; 02-22-2017 at 04:22 AM..
In the UK only 32% of people on the spectrum are employed. I suspect those 32% are the high-functioning ones who appear 'normal' to everyone else. A lot of people on the spectrum don't even talk, and will spend all their lives in assisted living.
I have a lot of sympathy for people with Asperger's and autism though. I have a cousin who is on the spectrum and he has always struggled to make friends, and was bullied a lot in school. He has a job, but it's been a long road. He's the same age as Owen, funnily enough. I've always been really protective of him - he's like a little brother to me.
I don't know, the only thing I would say is that it's been quite a challenge to live in England with their negative attitude towards disabilities.
For example, I went out with a 'friend' (I suppose maybe you could call him that now?) on Saturday and members of the public were disgustingly intolerant of him and his behaviour! He has the same disability and does indeed appear normal, the issue he has is that he sometimes can't control the magnitude of his voice. He also has this weird laugh which draws even more attention, THAT was kinda mortifying because his laugh really IS weird.
See when you say things like this, then you wonder why people give you a hard time That statement is absolute crap. You then follow it up with using your friend, who to anyone who doesn't know him looks completely "normal", as an example of English people being negative to anyone with disabilities. No, it is simply the fact that people do not know he has a disibility, that isn't being negative. If I was out & saw a student being loud, with a weird laugh, I would probably stare too, it doesn't mean I am negative towards people with disabilities, they & I would likely assume it was a typical loud & obnoxious student, likely drunk...
i think they could behave normally, but the external factor, which is being treated like a low-functioning ones, matters as well?
They are treated how they are received imo. I've outlined some examples of students with ASD who are oblivious to the most basic social ques and have a reluctance to communicate or build a realistic rapport with anyone who doesn't have the same interests.
How are these people going to be employed? Consider workplace roles and communications involved in the workplace. A lot of people aren't going to have the patience or willingness to compromise with these people.
I don't have the patience either! I have been told that it is a trait for Autistics to seem self centered but I have yet to meet anyone as self centered as this guy! I usually give people space when they try to "fix" things, but when it is blatantly obvious that someone is not making any effort and is coming across as arrogant and "me, me" I don't bother.
They are treated how they are received imo. I've outlined some examples of students with ASD who are oblivious to the most basic social ques and have a reluctance to communicate or build a realistic rapport with anyone who doesn't have the same interests.
How are these people going to be employed? Consider workplace roles and communications involved in the workplace. A lot of people aren't going to have the patience or willingness to compromise with these people.
I don't have the patience either! I have been told that it is a trait for Autistics to seem self centered but I have yet to meet anyone as self centered as this guy! I usually give people space when they try to "fix" things, but when it is blatantly obvious that someone is not making any effort and is coming across as arrogant and "me, me" I don't bother.
These are defining characteristics of ASD though. I thought it was common knowledge that the brain of someone with ASD is wired differently so they are unable to pick up on things that 'normal' people pick up on with ease. It isn't intentional behaviour. Watch the Big Bang Theory - the character Sheldon exhibits a lot of ASD symptoms. He comes across as condescending and rude but he doesn't think he is, and is genuinely shocked when other people are offended by his words.
For someone with ASD, it takes years to 'learn' social ques or to function in a way that is 'normal'. All that is needed in most cases is patience and understanding. Getting angry with someone because they don't understand something you do is completely unhelpful. It's a disability at the end of the day - not just an excuse for people to avoid doing things they don't like.
The best thing for these people is to find a job that doesn't require much human interaction - and there are many jobs like that. People with ASD tend to be highly intelligent so they could pursue careers in something like IT. I think most people with ASD can find jobs, they just need a bit of help - and finding the right sector for them. Putting someone with ASD into a sales role would be pretty disastrous.
For anyone who is interested, the BBC did a very good documentary on this subject, following people with autism and tourettes as they attempt to find work.
I can't relate to be honest. I don't have a self centered approach to life. When in conversation, I do try to discuss things with people and have a to and fro (flowing) conversation.
Idk, it just seems that alot of Autistic people are selfish. It appears that way anyway.
Let's see how badly Leicester will be crushed today... Not having high hopes!
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), he stares at people (so he doesn't observe natural eye contact, so it's not look over and look away, it's a constant stare.), he seems self absorbed, he changes the conversation back to himself anytime someone dares to interrupt him, he chats in monologues AND he doesn't let ANYONE get a word in edgeways! It does sound as though I am ranting about this guy, (it may look like this) but he is woefully hard to deal with. And I'm afraid, I personally don't get anything out of such a social group! I prefer to attend groups where people are tolerant and empathetic. I am not going to attend a social group where ONE person takes a hold of the group!