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This is a tough situation to be in. Some people would think it is insignificant, but, it really isn't. Just because the SIL offered to pay for the cake does not give her the right to change the choice without consulting everyone. What did your husband have to say about this? Sometimes it is difficult to take the highroad, but it is always the best. Take comfort in the fact that you kept peace in the family. But, don't give your SIL a chance to do a repeat performance.
Agreed! I'm glad I have cut off contact for one thing I have finally gotten so angry that she could say something very polite like pass the butter for instance and I might go off on her....
We picked our cake out and the day of the wedding we arrived to find the wrong cake. Too late to change it at that point so I just had them take off the flowers and add some that better matched our colors.
Maybe she didn't change it and the bakery mixed up orders instead? I would approach it that way with her.
i would ask her if she had spoken to the bakery about the wedding cake mix up.
as an aside, as laid back as I am about most things, for some things (like parties, etc) I am a self admitted control freak. my mom offered to buy our cake which was great and appreciated. I paid the bakery, then had my mom pay me back.
I just dont assume people will do what *I* want them to.... LOL
This happened quite some time ago at my wedding and I just had a huge chuckle about it...here is the story. My parents, sister and soon to be MIL went and carefully taste tested and chose a delicious cake for my wedding I even brought a clipping from a wedding book which was big for me since I hate bride magazines My soon to be SIL offered to pay for the cake as our wedding gift which was very kind and we accepted.....then we get to the reception and she had gone ahead and changed the cake without asking..... The cake was still great but still? What would others have done because I never said a single word and clearly at this point I'm not going to. Just curious actually.
Why is this issue even being brought up after all this time? And as another poster mentioned, maybe the bakery made a mistake...and your SIL did absolutely nothing wrong with regard to the cake.
We picked our cake out and the day of the wedding we arrived to find the wrong cake. Too late to change it at that point so I just had them take off the flowers and add some that better matched our colors.
Maybe she didn't change it and the bakery mixed up orders instead? I would approach it that way with her.
Yes she pointed the changes out when we went to cut the cake
Why is this issue even being brought up after all this time? And as another poster mentioned, maybe the bakery made a mistake...and your SIL did absolutely nothing wrong with regard to the cake.
She said she was curious to know what others would've done in such a situation. I think that answers your question, no?
IRT the question, I would've gone off. I am a majorly anal retentive control freak when it comes to anything that relates to me and my projects. If it's my project, I want it to go my way or I will flip out. I remember the year before last I coordinated a prayer breakfast (I'm an event coordinator) and I had a helper doing the program/menu cards for me. It was a piece of cardstock paper with a piece of vellum paper on top, tied together at the top with a piece of ribbon. I had told her what kind of ribbon I wanted down to the smallest detail (color, size, material, etc.) and I punched the holes in one set to show her where I wanted the holes to go.
She showed up the next day with 200 of them done - WRONG. The holes were too close together and the ribbon was about 1/4 inch wide, when I wanted 5/8 ribbon. I went ballistic.
If that's my reaction to some ribbon for a prayer breakfast, you can only imagine how I would go off about my wedding cake.
Granted it's too late to do something about it, I would still let my disappointment and anger be made known. To preserve the family relationship, I would probably start by accusing the bakery of screwing it up and start hysterically begging my SIL to call them and get us a refund. Then when she started pointing out the changes and taking ownership for it, I would just hold up my hand and go into my "eerie-silence mode" and tell her I don't want to talk about it right now. Every time she brought it up from that point forward, I would go back into eerie-silence and refuse to discuss it.
She said she was curious to know what others would've done in such a situation. I think that answers your question, no?
IRT the question, I would've gone off. I am a majorly anal retentive control freak when it comes to anything that relates to me and my projects. If it's my project, I want it to go my way or I will flip out. I remember the year before last I coordinated a prayer breakfast (I'm an event coordinator) and I had a helper doing the program/menu cards for me. It was a piece of cardstock paper with a piece of vellum paper on top, tied together at the top with a piece of ribbon. I had told her what kind of ribbon I wanted down to the smallest detail (color, size, material, etc.) and I punched the holes in one set to show her where I wanted the holes to go.
She showed up the next day with 200 of them done - WRONG. The holes were too close together and the ribbon was about 1/4 inch wide, when I wanted 5/8 ribbon. I went ballistic.
If that's my reaction to some ribbon for a prayer breakfast, you can only imagine how I would go off about my wedding cake.
Granted it's too late to do something about it, I would still let my disappointment and anger be made known. To preserve the family relationship, I would probably start by accusing the bakery of screwing it up and start hysterically begging my SIL to call them and get us a refund. Then when she started pointing out the changes and taking ownership for it, I would just hold up my hand and go into my "eerie-silence mode" and tell her I don't want to talk about it right now. Every time she brought it up from that point forward, I would go back into eerie-silence and refuse to discuss it.
hmmmm....thinking you should have used your time at that prayer breakfast more wisely and prayed to be healed of that control freak nature
hmmmm....thinking you should have used your time at that prayer breakfast more wisely and prayed to be healed of that control freak nature
LOL!!!
Nah, with the work I do, it's important to be a control freak. I don't know too many successful event planners who aren't control freaks when it comes to the business. Details matter, and if you don't dot every i and cross every t, it could mean the difference between a good event and an award-winning event. There's nothing like having a vision, busting your behind to bring it to fruition, and then stepping back and seeing it come to life. When you're a visionary and someone does anything to change your vision, it can be devastating in ways that other people just don't get.
I own mine. And I'm okay with it.
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My soon to be SIL offered to pay for the cake as our wedding gift which was very kind and we accepted.....then we get to the reception and she had gone ahead and changed the cake without asking.....
The cake was still great but still? What would others have done because I never said a single word and clearly at this point I'm not going to.
