Best Man for the wedding... (invite, fiance, money, band)

[RunD1987]

This is probably my biggest stressor for the wedding. Over the years have lost touch with high school and college friends. Never really had time to make friends with work long enough as I moved from job to job. I kind of gotten use to doing my own thing. With me back I'm college and working odd hours have had no time to join a club or spend outside of work with coworkers. I have one male friend through my fiancée.

Wedding is in November and it's crunch time to find a best man. I asked one Uncle and going to ask another Uncle as well. Is it strange to have my two uncles as Best Men?

My year old cousin was a brother to me until he went to high school. Then a family fight with my aunt and other family members lost touch with my cousin over the years.

My dad has been out of my life for almost 10 years.

My fiancée is having 4 people with her in her Party. Would it be strange just to have 2 people?

Appreciate the feedback.

[Kibbiekat]

I went to a weeding once where the bride had about 6 and the groom had 1. It was unusual, but really not a big deal in the grand scheme.

I have to say, you and your fiance don't seem to be on the same page about anything.

[randomlikeme]

Does she have a brother or anyone like that where it would be good to include them?


Why would you also not ask the one male friend you have?

[lmw36]

It wouldn't be strange to have 2.

You also don't have to have a "best man".

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by RunD1987

This is probably my biggest stressor for the wedding. Over the years have lost touch with high school and college friends. Never really had time to make friends with work long enough as I moved from job to job. I kind of gotten use to doing my own thing. With me back I'm college and working odd hours have had no time to join a club or spend outside of work with coworkers. I have one male friend through my fiancée.

Wedding is in November and it's crunch time to find a best man. I asked one Uncle and going to ask another Uncle as well. Is it strange to have my two uncles as Best Men?

My year old cousin was a brother to me until he went to high school. Then a family fight with my aunt and other family members lost touch with my cousin over the years.

My dad has been out of my life for almost 10 years.

My fiancée is having 4 people with her in her Party. Would it be strange just to have 2 people?

Appreciate the feedback.

Personally, I think that it would be a great honor for your uncles to be best men at your wedding. And, IMHO, it is OK to have different size wedding parties.

If you decide to go ahead with the wedding and not postpone it for a year or two, keep in mind that you probably will need ushers (to lead people to their seats at the church), as well. Your best man/ men will either be waiting at the altar with you or walk down the aisle with the bridesmaids (depends on the service).

Ushers, may or may not be considered "real" members of the wedding party.

You & your fiancée may also need people to do readings from the Bible or similar things (depends on the service). Sometimes, you also honor special people with giving them a specific task, like being in charge of the guest book or cutting the cake (if the venue does not have a specific person to do that). As a side note, check out "cake cutting fees" in advance. Some venues charge $2 or $3 to cut & serve each piece of cake. For a 130 person wedding that is (obviously) an extra $260 to $390 in addition to the cost of the wedding cake and other food. Yikes!

And, you do know that it is traditional for the groom's family to plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner, don't you? Please read other threads about this on CD. Discuss this & agree on this well in advance with your fiancée. In some areas, and some families, the rehearsal dinner is only the wedding party & immediate families (only parents) of the bride & groom. In other communities, and other families, the rehearsal dinner may include all out-of-town guests and extended family (grandparents, godparents, siblings). That can easily & quickly double or triple the amount of guests where you/the groom's family are paying for their meal and liquid refreshments.

Our son was married 4 years ago and we did not pay for the guests extra drinks at the rehearsal dinner that they purchased at the bar (except for champagne for toasts) and it still cost $75 a person. Yikes! In retrospect we really should have picked up the entire bar tab, too but my hubby and I could barely scrape together the money to pay for the planned restaurant & champagne bill. A few of the guests were pretty heavy drinkers or buying expensive top shelf liquor and I bet that it could have easily raised the price per person to $90 or maybe even $100. Yikes! Yikes!

[RunD1987]

The rehearsal dinner will probably be 2 hopefully of my party. One works in stocks and other in healthcare so kind of a busy week. They already have that Friday after Thanksgiving off.

Rehearsal dinner will probably be just my mom, my aunt, my uncle, maybe my other aunt/uncle, my brides mom, and my brides Party of 4. Total of 15 at most for the rehearsal dinner probably just do pizza.

Not wanting to clog the forum with ?'s. Would you invite coworkers. I am thinking of inviting 2...bad move?

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by RunD1987

The rehearsal dinner will probably be 2 hopefully of my party. One works in stocks and other in healthcare so kind of a busy week. They already have that Friday after Thanksgiving off.

Rehearsal dinner will probably be just my mom, my aunt, my uncle, maybe my other aunt/uncle, my brides mom, and my brides Party of 4. Total of 15 at most for the rehearsal dinner probably just do pizza.

Not wanting to clog the forum with ?'s. Would you invite coworkers. I am thinking of inviting 2...bad move?

The rehearsal dinner for my wedding was pizza at my fiancé's apartment. His dad baked the frozen pizzas in the oven and his mom served it to everyone (about 20 people). It was pretty informal because that was all that his parents could afford and my fiancé and I were already paying for the entire wedding so we were broke, as well.

[rrah]

Do you mean inviting co-workers to the wedding or rehearsal dinner? Wedding--sure, if you want to do so and talk with them regularly. Rehearsal dinner--no need.

My own wedding--H's uncle was his best man. Old friend was the other groomsman. My 3 sisters were the bridesmaids. The odd numbers were fine. I didn't really feel close to high school friends and my college friends were broke. I didn't feel like I could ask them to participate in that way, and I couldn't afford to pay for their dresses.

Rehearsal dinner--pot luck at my parents house since H's family was from out of town. It's what we could all afford.

Our wedding itself was probably the least expensive wedding I've ever attended. Despite that, our family and friends still talk about the fun they had 30 plus years later. Without much money we really had to put ourselves into it--made our own "mix tapes" instead of a band or D.J., very casual venue, BIL's brothers were the bartenders, some people were dressed up, others very casual, etc.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by RunD1987

The rehearsal dinner will probably be 2 hopefully of my party. One works in stocks and other in healthcare so kind of a busy week. They already have that Friday after Thanksgiving off.

Rehearsal dinner will probably be just my mom, my aunt, my uncle, maybe my other aunt/uncle, my brides mom, and my brides Party of 4. Total of 15 at most for the rehearsal dinner probably just do pizza.

Not wanting to clog the forum with ?'s. Would you invite coworkers. I am thinking of inviting 2...bad move?

Invite coworkers to the rehearsal dinner? No. It should be all members of the wedding party, parents or other close family, and maybe some out of town family. Their SO's should be invited, too.