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You said that a person would be acting anti-social by not talking to people about their private lives. Not to imply that you said it was an obligation or that people are bad people if they don't, but the way you worded it might be construed that way, as if a person is expected to do so to be societally competent. No offense meant, just letting you know.
NO. What I said was, that it felt anti-social and unpleasant FOR ME to do or not do. NOWHERE in my post did I comment on what other people tell me or what I ask them to tell me.
In other words, you and other people, just talk for the sake of talking. Be honest: When someone tells you about their family and where they ate Saturday night, you really don't care. Yet, we as a society tell each other a bunch of nonsense we don't care about. I keep to myself. I'll talk if I really care about a certain subject, but the problem is most people just talk about cliche typical topics for the sake of talking. It's not interesting.
Uh...not exactly.
I certainly can't speak for everyone else, but as for me, I certainly do care about my coworker's happiness when I ask about their weekend and I presume they feel the same. I don't care TO THE SAME DEGREE as I might care about the social lives of my best friend or my family. But to me life is not black and white. Relationships are not black and white. Some people are work buddies, some people are work friends, some people are passing acquaintainces, others are so close they are family. Some things and people I care LESS about but that doesn't mean I don't care AT ALL.
As for what all of society does.....I think that is perhaps a discussion that belongs on another forum.
NO. What I said was, that it felt anti-social and unpleasant FOR ME to do or not do. NOWHERE in my post did I comment on what other people tell me or what I ask them to tell me.
Learn to read.
The word antisocial implies behaviour that is harmful/disruptive to society. Anti-social personality involves a person whose behaviours are dangerous to others.
Just pointing out that if you imply that not going out of your way to reveal your private info is antisocial, it implies a judgement something about society and the person. The very nature of the term anti-social (a sociological/psychological term) means that it's about how people should act in society, and not just a personal thing.
The word antisocial implies behaviour that is harmful/disruptive to society. Anti-social personality involves a person whose behaviours are dangerous to others.
Just pointing out that if you imply that not going out of your way to reveal your private info is antisocial, it implies a judgement something about society and the person. The very nature of the term anti-social (a sociological/psychological term) means that it's about how people should act in society, and not just a personal thing.
Whatever. You misread and then took offense that wasn't even about you and now you're trying to reshape your argument so you don't look like such a douche. My post wasn't about you, or anyone else on this post, just a response to the OP. Move on already.
Whatever. You misread and then took offense that wasn't even about you and now you're trying to reshape your argument so you don't look like such a douche. My post wasn't about you, or anyone else on this post, just a response to the OP. Move on already.
No, I just didn't like you using the term anti-social (It has a particular meaning with connotations about abnormality/psychological characteristics bad for society) to describe a personal choice without judgements/connotations.
I'm not even taking real offense here, but using the term to describe people's behaviour is loaded language.
My first response to you:
"No, people do not have an obligation to share their private details with you. Not wanting to talk with you is not a harm to you and society, given that the person has basic manners and decency."
Is meant to say "no, people who do not feel the need to talk private details all the time are not acting antisocial (which has a particular negative psychological meaning). They are only acting like normal people, provided they have basic manners and decency. They don't have to not be/be obliged to act otherwise to be normal".
I recently told a new colleague that I check work email and log into our software from home. I meant to imply that's how much of a dedicated employee I am. He remarked how it sounded I was OCD.
I told the same guy how I sometimes stay a bit longer past my scheduled departure time. He replied he does the same thing and it all balances out (he may take a longer break and stay a bit longer). I emphasized how I don't record the fact I stay longer on my time sheet, therefore don't charge them overtime. I'm not really working, just catching up on some reading, etc. Now whenever he sees me 15+ mins past my scheduled departure time, he asks, hey VAW, doing overtime again? Uh, no I'm not.
I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. It's none of my colleagues' business how I choose to spend my time off.
Some very personal stuff has to be shared. For instance, my immediate co-workers need to know that my spouse is undergoing chemotherapy, because his treatment schedule affects when I am out of the office, which in turn affects our scheduling as a department.
Probably too much. The only friends I have are people I work with. Not my managers by any means, but still co-workers.
If that's the truth then I'd watch out. You're telling us on this forum how you hate your job so I guess you're telling your co-workers too. It's funny how you think someone has your back and they're going right behind your back and telling everything you're saying to the boss.
Since I've had that happen to me of someone going back to the boss and telling them everything I've said, I've learned to keep my big mouth shut.
I tell my coworkers nothing. Just a polite conversation and that's it.
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