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And I mean single, with no kids. It just seems like I'm always the one expected to stay over on a busy day while the family people can just leave on time and I have to pick up their slack. If someone calls in because a child is sick or can't find a babysitter, it seems like it's acceptable whereas if I ever do it, it's doomsday and I get grilled about why I'm not coming to work. Also, they can just leave early because the school calls and says come pick up your child because they're running a fever. Again, nothing is done, my boss will gripe and complain, but he does nothing.
I try to keep my mouth shut and not say how I really feel because I dont wanna appear like an anti-family demon or anything, but sometimes it can be so obvious that people abuse sick days and get out of work on very stressful days by using their kids as an excuse, and my company is too chicken to do anything about it.
Oh and this is what I love, when I dont sign up to work on a holiday, this is what I know has been said about me: "Why doesn't he sign up to work? It's not like he has a family or kids." Yes I do have family. I have a mom, aunts, uncles, and cousins who I would love to see. I shouldn't have to accommodate for you just because I chose to live differently than you.
I don't mind if someone has to leave work to take care of their sick kid or go to the kid's Christmas play or whatever. Because someone has kids mean things are more likely to come up unexpectedly like a kid runs a fever at school and needs to be picked up. Of course they should leave and go take care of their kid. But I don't think someone should get more time just because they have kids. Your time out of the office is your time out of the office. There should not be a distinction where it's valid to leave early for a sick kid, but not valid to leave early to get your hair cut or go shopping or just because you have leave time and want to leave early one day. That is definitely not fair.
I dont mind it either, but what I DO mind is the abuse (unless they have a serious condition, why does it seems like your kid gets sick once every two months or once a month), and me being grilled and harassed while the others get an "OK, thats fine. Go take care of little Johnny." I have left work maybe twice, once for the death of my father and the other was because my home got broken into and I needed to leave to file a police report. The former of course my company was very understandable, but the latter I just got asked tons of questions and it just seems like my boss didn't believe me. And when I do call-in sick it's:, "well you know we got the VP in town", or "youre calling in when we have inventory in a couple of days?", "try taking something first then let's see how you feel in a couple hours" Are you kidding me? I'm still not coming in. End of discussion. It's so frustrating!
There was a woman I worked with years ago who took extreme advantage of this.
She was a single mom to one son, but she had a long-term, live-in boyfriend (not the kid's father) who helped her with a lot of her parenting. Regardless, every time she missed work it was because she was a "single mom" -- she kept him home for a case of the sniffles and took a sick day, she was constantly late to work for various kid-cited reasons, she left work early frequently without prior planning for kid-related issues. We all would have to randomly jump in and cover her stuff, and it was quite frustrating.
Eventually, the higher-ups had a talk with her about how she needed to rein in this behavior -- essentially, shape up or ship out. She was so upset, and told anyone who would listen about how they didn't understand the plight of a single mom. Still, she managed to do a lot better for a few months after that -- miraculously, she learned that the kid could go to school with the sniffles and he "suddenly" stopped making her late to work, etc. The bad behavior did start to creep back in, and a few months after that, she was fired.
I heard through the grapevine that when she was terminated, she expressed her outrage that they'd fire a "single mom just trying to do [her] best."
Now, let me emphasize that I know single parents have it hard. I'm not trivializing that at all. However, I've known plenty of single parents who have managed to be responsible employees while juggling their parenting, and don't use the "single parent" thing as an excuse for being a bad employee. In her case, though, it was so clear she was taking advantage -- she also, again, was not a single parent except in name-only. Her boyfriend had been around since the kid was a baby (he was 8 by the time I knew her) and was clearly handling a lot of parenting duties of his own.
There was a woman I worked with years ago who took extreme advantage of this.
She was a single mom to one son, but she had a long-term, live-in boyfriend (not the kid's father) who helped her with a lot of her parenting. Regardless, every time she missed work it was because she was a "single mom" -- she kept him home for a case of the sniffles and took a sick day, she was constantly late to work for various kid-cited reasons, she left work early frequently without prior planning for kid-related issues. We all would have to randomly jump in and cover her stuff, and it was quite frustrating.
Eventually, the higher-ups had a talk with her about how she needed to rein in this behavior -- essentially, shape up or ship out. She was so upset, and told anyone who would listen about how they didn't understand the plight of a single mom. Still, she managed to do a lot better for a few months after that -- miraculously, she learned that the kid could go to school with the sniffles and he "suddenly" stopped making her late to work, etc. The bad behavior did start to creep back in, and a few months after that, she was fired.
I heard through the grapevine that when she was terminated, she expressed her outrage that they'd fire a "single mom just trying to do [her] best."
Now, let me emphasize that I know single parents have it hard. I'm not trivializing that at all. However, I've known plenty of single parents who have managed to be responsible employees while juggling their parenting, and don't use the "single parent" thing as an excuse for being a bad employee. In her case, though, it was so clear she was taking advantage -- she also, again, was not a single parent except in name-only. Her boyfriend had been around since the kid was a baby (he was 8 by the time I knew her) and was clearly handling a lot of parenting duties of his own.
Exactly. I've worked with single moms who were more dependable than the ones who weren't. Many of them also have asked their parents or siblings to help out so they wouldn't jeopardize the work day. But others just look at it as if "Yes! I have a reason to miss work!" rather than trying other alternatives (spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, the grandparents, siblings, friends, in-laws, etc.)
There was a woman I worked with years ago who took extreme advantage of this.
She was a single mom to one son, but she had a long-term, live-in boyfriend (not the kid's father) who helped her with a lot of her parenting. Regardless, every time she missed work it was because she was a "single mom" -- she kept him home for a case of the sniffles and took a sick day, she was constantly late to work for various kid-cited reasons, she left work early frequently without prior planning for kid-related issues. We all would have to randomly jump in and cover her stuff, and it was quite frustrating.
Eventually, the higher-ups had a talk with her about how she needed to rein in this behavior -- essentially, shape up or ship out. She was so upset, and told anyone who would listen about how they didn't understand the plight of a single mom. Still, she managed to do a lot better for a few months after that -- miraculously, she learned that the kid could go to school with the sniffles and he "suddenly" stopped making her late to work, etc. The bad behavior did start to creep back in, and a few months after that, she was fired.
I heard through the grapevine that when she was terminated, she expressed her outrage that they'd fire a "single mom just trying to do [her] best."
Now, let me emphasize that I know single parents have it hard. I'm not trivializing that at all. However, I've known plenty of single parents who have managed to be responsible employees while juggling their parenting, and don't use the "single parent" thing as an excuse for being a bad employee. In her case, though, it was so clear she was taking advantage -- she also, again, was not a single parent except in name-only. Her boyfriend had been around since the kid was a baby (he was 8 by the time I knew her) and was clearly handling a lot of parenting duties of his own.
I would hope they terminated her for cause, and were able to avoid paying unmerited unemployment compensation.
Yes, OP, I've seen tons of parents pimp the kids, using them as convenient mechanisms to support their poor work ethic.
IMO, time off cause Johnnie has the sniffles should either be unpaid or come by using PTO, vacation if sick pay is not offered. Parents should not get this time off in addition to ordinary time off with pay granted others.
Everywhere I've worked, preference is given to "parents", both in turning a blind eye when they leave work early (despite arriving at the same hour as the rest of us), and also in assigning after-hours and weekend work -- making "mom" work on Saturday wouldn't be fair, so ruin the single men's weekend instead.
It's gotten so I just stop responding to work-related phone/IM/email after 4:59PM on Fridays unless I am on-call.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sniper2013
Oh and this is what I love, when I dont sign up to work on a holiday, this is what I know has been said about me: "Why doesn't he sign up to work? It's not like he has a family or kids." Yes I do have family. I have a mom, aunts, uncles, and cousins who I would love to see. I shouldn't have to accommodate for you just because I chose to live differently than you.
I do know one dad who volunteers for holiday work, just to avoid spending the day with the in-laws.
Everywhere I've worked, preference is given to "parents", both in turning a blind eye when they leave work early (despite arriving at the same hour as the rest of us), and also in assigning after-hours and weekend work -- making "mom" work on Saturday wouldn't be fair, so ruin the single men's weekend instead.
It's gotten so I just stop responding to work-related phone/IM/email after 4:59PM on Fridays unless I am on-call.
I do know one dad who volunteers for holiday work, just to avoid spending the day with the in-laws.
If the person is using his/her PTO when they leave early and they clear it with their supervisor, what does it matter?
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