Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Here is the real deal. When you are making too little you are embarrased to let others know how little you make, so you don't tell anyone how much you make. When you make the average you want others to think that you are making more, so you don't tell anyone how much you make. When you make more than others you don't want to brag and many times may just feel bad that they are not doing as well as you are, so you don't tell anyone how much you make.
I have to tell you that we are in the third tier now and it is nice and at the same time not so fun to be there. We have friends that are not doing as well and what do you do? We own a home and know a couple of people that may be getting evicted from apartments. One family we have even lent money to. Not a lot but still their is this differant dynamic that enters the friendship when that happens.
Here is the real deal. When you are making too little you are embarrased to let others know how little you make, so you don't tell anyone how much you make. When you make the average you want others to think that you are making more, so you don't tell anyone how much you make.
If you're embarrassed if you're making less than others, that shows a lack of self-esteem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE
When you make the average you want others to think that you are making more, so you don't tell anyone how much you make.
If you want others to think you're making more than you're making, that shows a lack of self-esteem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE
When you make more than others you don't want to brag and many times may just feel bad that they are not doing as well as you are, so you don't tell anyone how much you make.
When you make more than others and feel bad that others are not making as much, that shows a lack of awareness. You think people will be embarrassed because if you were in their shoes you'd be embarrassed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE
I have to tell you that we are in the third tier now and it is nice and at the same time not so fun to be there. We have friends that are not doing as well and what do you do? We own a home and know a couple of people that may be getting evicted from apartments. One family we have even lent money to. Not a lot but still their is this differant dynamic that enters the friendship when that happens.
If you don't want to tell certain people your salary in fear of bad consequences, then don't. If a complete stranger asks me my salary, I sure as heck will keep my mouth shut because he may rob my place. If a friend I know has a comfortable life and asks how much I make, I will give him a range. If a family member or friend barely knows me and is in financial need and I don't want to help him, I am not going to tell him how much I make. It depends on the person and the context. But this applies to all kinds of personal information, not just income. I don't see income being any more special than other personal information.
I only tell my close friends when we're having a pi$$ and a moan about how little we make and how absurd the cost of things seem to be in light of it lol I don't see any reason why I'd ever tell someone outside of that closeness how much I make.
The mutual pi$$ and moan is usually only safe if you're in the same ball park. Right out of high school it's no big deal if someone finds out you make $11.00 and they make $10.00. Add 10 or 15 years to that mix and the same group of friends might have someone still making $10.00 while someone else is making $75K.
Out of my group of old high school friends I'm one of the few who finished college, and one of just two who got a graduate degree. Truthfully due to student loans and not living with my parents I really don't have much more discretionary income than they do, but I'd never want them to hear that I'm making two or three times what they are (some of them still tell me their wage, others aren't hard to guess when they are working cash registers and kitchens).
Lately, I've had friends and family members prod me over my salary. The more I try to sidestep the question, the more I get interrogated.
I like to keep my salary private simply because there is no right answer to "How much do you make?". If your salary is too low, people will pity you and look down on you and your profession. If you salary is too high, people tend to get jealous and expect more from you (e.g, Bob makes over 6-figures a year, but he can't pick up the dinner tab?)
What do you do when your friends/relatives ask you about your salary?
If friends or family asks me, I am open about my income. Very few people have asked though.
I don't get the reluctance behind telling people that you supposedly like or maybe even love what you earn.
A few years back on a camping trip a friend of a friend kept hammering me to find out how much I earned.
So standing by the campfire with a group of guys I tell him (and all present) "have your wife text me a couple pictures of her naked and I'll text you a copy of my direct deposit, be careful tho, I might just text her a copy of my direct deposit as well".
No not that individual act, but in generally yes, having a grain more knowledge than you did before, in my mind, empowers you.
When it comes to income it empowers workers or employees. It allows you to keep the system honest. A perfect example would the gender or race wage gap. Having the factual knowledge necessary to accurately gauge your worth is a very empowering position to be in.
It is also potentially uncomfortable, but that is the nature of knowledge. First one learns what they did not know, then they must choose how or wether or not to use that knowledge, to there advantage. Ignorance is bliss, both are deadly depending on the situation and person.
What did/do you not understand about that statement. Is it better to enter a conversation about your worth only relying on internet forums, or bringing actual facts about your value compare to your peers, and their respective salaries?
Mind explaining why you consider this a rude question? My friends and I share income information all the time. If I ask somebody how much he makes and he says that's a rude question I would think he is being defensive for a reason.
What amazes me the most is how the people who get taken advantage of the most are always quick to defend the rules they follow that actually work to keep in a position of disadvantage.
To discuss your income with other people is classless.
You seem so smart and full of class, maybe you can answer this: if you base your worth on your position within a system that ranks society by class, and low class is the lowest class, who can be classless? The lowest you can go is low class right?
Do you identify as a follower or a leader?
The second one was rhetorical, no leader would deny the wealth of knowledge.
No not that individual act, but in generally yes, having a grain more knowledge than you did before, in my mind, empowers you.
When it comes to income it empowers workers or employees. It allows you to keep the system honest. A perfect example would the gender or race wage gap. Having the factual knowledge necessary to accurately gauge your worth is a very empowering position to be in.
It is also potentially uncomfortable, but that is the nature of knowledge. First one learns what they did not know, then they must choose how or wether or not to use that knowledge, to there advantage. Ignorance is bliss, both are deadly depending on the situation and person.
What did/do you not understand about that statement. Is it better to enter a conversation about your worth only relying on internet forums, or bringing actual facts about your value compare to your peers, and their respective salaries?
I don't fail to understand anything. I reject your premise that knowing the salary of another empowers those who know it unless you are in the same field/doing the same job.
I don't think anyone cares how much I make. So I generally don't tell them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
