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The boss is the boss. And you can't win a pissing contest with the boss.
Yes. This is a good one. Even if YOU are in the right - the boss won't want to hear it. Best to keep your mouth shut and let everyone proceed with huge, regulatory mistakes. I am dead serious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by statisticsnerd
Success in a corporate office environment has more to do with kissing up, schmoozing, and fitting in than hard work and competence. The lazy schlub who runs his mouth all day and half asses his job will be valued far more than the hard worker who keeps his head down and focuses on his job instead of socializing.
This is a recurring theme throughout this thread. Absolutely ~ kiss up to the boss would be one of my top recommendations. It helps if you have passable work - but don't go overboard when less will do. Times have changed - now less is MORE.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua
Never gossip, and never spread information, BUT make sure you locate and get to know the biggest office gossips and rotate going to lunch with each (even if you have to foot the bill), volunteer no information, say, "Wow, really?" a lot. It's NEVER BAD to be informed. It's those who don't know a thing who get caught off guard.
Good one. Know whose in the know. Have some strategic political connections.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DorianRo
I wish someone would have told me early on that the incompetent, unproductive arse kissers get promoted faster than the diligent, knowledge workers that bring real value to the company but are not in the boss' office every day shooting and sticking their nose up upper management's pipe(who may be stuck in the sam rut forever with no advancement opportunities). That would have saved me a lot of problems throughout my career and things might have been different
See? I told you this was a recurring theme. IF you get the chance to play golf with the boss - absolutely do it. That will matter more than those TPS reports you've been spending so much time on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by psurangers11
Working hard is never enough... kiss enough ass too... just make sure it's the right ass.
Yep. It's definitely WHO you know.
I also wish I had known in what great disdain corporate America holds for middle-aged working women. No one is less valued than this demographic. No one cares what you know anymore once the 'package' has changed. Have plan B ready ladies - depending on your corporate culture!
Do NOT be seduced by a headhunter who will give you a huge promotion, a great "title" and substantial income increase, plus pay for your move to the new city where you know NO ONE and feel lonely, like an outsider, and realize you hate the place, the job, everything. Don't fall for it! Don't go!
Also, don't cast your net so widely; be more focused.
2) The boss (usually) is not stupid, the problem s/he is trying to solve may have nothing to do with the problem you are trying to solve. The level of the view, and the perspective one has, frequently defines what is a true problem, as opposed to something that is a necessary annoyance.
2a) Bring a solution with you. "Hey boss, I see XXXX as a problem, and I think we could solve it by YYYY, what's your thoughts?" You may be surprised that your brilliant solution absolutely gums up the works some where else in the system, but the boss will see you as interested and a problem solver, instead of a whiner complaining about things. And maybe you'll hit a home run with you suggestion, adding to your value as an employee, as well as enhancing your experience and resume.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
And this I learned early on from one of my first managers = say yes to every opportunity to learn something new. The more you learn, the more valuable you become - if not here - somewhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek
4.) Don't ever say "that isn't in my job description," even when it's not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow
2) No company has any loyalty to you. Ever. They will throw you under the bus whenever it is in their best interest.
I highlighted the ones I found the most useful/important/applicable in my career.
You don't want to be rich--you just enough for a decent life. You want to make a difference and help people, and you think if you worked hard you can make a difference AND have enough.
THIS IS WRONG! Poor people have no money and rich people hate paying other people to help poor people take their place. Nobody will ever pay you enough, because the only people who really value what you do have no money. This is the public sector paradox.
You remember that dream you had before you were constantly put down in math and science classes and told by that idiot chem teacher that girls would never reach the higher levels of science because they didn't have the brains for it--in 1994? Remember? He was a flipping moron.
DO NOT TRY TO HELP ANYONE. YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE WORLD. PLEASE. I AM THE FUTURE YOU: I HAVE SPENT 20 YEARS ON IT AND IT'S BULL. Stop thinking you can sacrifice yourself for a better future. You are nothing to the future. The world will continue to be a crappy place no matter how hard you try and you are ruining your chance at financial stability for yourself. Give up hope NOW and study astronomy like you wanted. I swear to god I wouldn't deceive you. You still might not be rich as a scientist but at least you won't spend your entire life trying to convince people at the top that children at the bottom should have an education. It is killing you. Even as a teacher, if you have two kids, you will be eligible for a partial scholarship at parks and rec. Can you imagine? You'll be getting benefits with a master's degree! No, REALLY, with wage freezes, you will. Plus people will hate you. The hate directed at you, a charity and public sector worker just trying to help children, by conservatives will be so pointed and burning and continuous that even thinking "my haters are my motivators" will not help. Every day you will read at least one bumper sticker insulting your entire profession, those who seek to help children in need, because people resent that money is being taken for this.
I repeat: You will regret working in social and human services. Hope all you want, but don't think for a minute this will make you happy. It will not make you happy.
You're a hard worker. Spend your time doing what you love and/or making money.
"Do the right thing" is meaningless. How is it right if your salary depends on getting taxes from someone who'd rather watch a child die in front of his very eyes, than give you a single penny? Who cares if he's right--he won, he has the money, stop trying to change the world.
Just. Stop.
You can't change it. I'm you, I tried. The only reason you think people are nice is because you're a young woman and people want to get in your pants so they are nice to you. They aren't really nice. If you were fat they'd be mean to you.
Read this until you believe it, because it's true no matter how sad it makes you. Give up now, not 20 years from now when you have sacrificed your prime earning years to help others and your CV screams, "I will never fit into the private sector and all my software experience is public sector."
If this makes you want to kill yourself because you're convinced that meaning in life is gained through service to humanity, and I know you struggle with feelings of it all being meaningless, all I can say is, do it before you have children. You're going to feel the same way in 20 years with no way out because you have kids. Life is about living. Move on.
Study astronomy even if you don't get straight As your first year. That's normal in college!
I repeat: the only reason they are telling you to help the poor is that they want a cheaper labor market in social services. Don't fall for it. It is a trick.
tl;dr I lectured my idiot self on trying to help others in my career. I berated myself because it was important and I thought I might not listen to just one sentence on it.
I have been reading a lot of threads in here about folks who can't find work, can't move up, can't stay employed, etc. There is a lot of good advice, but usually AFTER the problem occurs. I retired once, and am consulting now, but getting ready to retire again. I have had a relatively successful career - not exceptional by any means, but better than average, however, I had to learn a LOT of lessons the hard way.
I have heard it said: "Smart people learn from their mistakes, wise people learn from others mistakes." So with that in mind, for those of us who are "smart" but maybe not "wise" what do you wish you knew at the front of you career that would have helped you move up the ladder faster or avoid painful mistakes.
Off the top of my head:
1) Cooperativeness in a group setting can be as important as being right; if you'd rather lose a friend than an argument, you'll probably lose both in the long run.
2) The boss (usually) is not stupid, the problem s/he is trying to solve may have nothing to do with the problem you are trying to solve. The level of the view, and the perspective one has, frequently defines what is a true problem, as opposed to something that is a necessary annoyance.
2a) Bring a solution with you. "Hey boss, I see XXXX as a problem, and I think we could solve it by YYYY, what's your thoughts?" You may be surprised that your brilliant solution absolutely gums up the works some where else in the system, but the boss will see you as interested and a problem solver, instead of a whiner complaining about things. And maybe you'll hit a home run with you suggestion, adding to your value as an employee, as well as enhancing your experience and resume.
3) Do a little more than is expected every day, there is no requirement to be Atlas, but a quick extra task, or a slightly more thorough job is noticed, and will be rewarded.
4) Dress a little better than the standard in the office/workplace; don't "stand out" by overdoing it, but always look professional. Whether you like it or not, it matters to your bosses boss, so it matters to your boss, so it should matter to you.
I've considered your excellent post since it first appeared. Mine was not a normal or corporate occupation.
The single most important thing I learned was to say "No!" If you learn to say NO to yourself it becomes easy to say NO to everything else. Also your number 4. I began these behavioral changes the first day I discharged from the army, never looked back.
think about being a teacher- you get half the year off- the summer, all weekends, all holidays
think about being a nurse or pharmacist
don't waste money on status symbols like cars- I could retire now if I had the money I spent on cars thru the years
buy a 2-3 yr old saab , baby it,,it will go 300k miles
buy an apartment building, live there, have the other rents pay for your place-
do not listen to friends and family when it comes to money- or investments.... get a financial advisor early on,,,,be VERY conservative with monies.
be physically fit---the air smells fresher and the world isn't so dark
don't watch or listen to the news,,,,,no wonder people are depressed
do random acts of kindness with no reward- if you have a single mother behind you at mcdonalds with a couple kids,,,leave 5.00 for them and walk out,,
its KARMA ....... its banking goodwill
spend more time with your grandparents while they are alive...
later in life,,,you will miss them..
be the dad you always wanted,,,,, don't cycle any crap on your kid,,
don't holler, scream, or hit your kid,,,,,they wont forget
be silly,,,allow yourself to laugh at yourself,,,,dance in the rain,,,be free
live your life thru your own eyes,,not thru the reflections of others
a wise man is not a doormat, a true friend is NOT unconditional- if someone is harming themselves, a true friend will tell them. even if they get angry with you
be honest,,KARMA again,,,you rob, cheat or steal, it will cost you 3 times as much later on,,,
as a man thinketh, so is he,, we think in pictures,,,make pleasant pictures and live your life that way
and lastly,,,you have givers and you have takers in life - don't allow the takers to sponge you,,,hang with the good hearted givers in life..
You don't want to be rich--you just enough for a decent life. You want to make a difference and help people, and you think if you worked hard you can make a difference AND have enough.
THIS IS WRONG! Poor people have no money and rich people hate paying other people to help poor people take their place. Nobody will ever pay you enough, because the only people who really value what you do have no money. This is the public sector paradox.
You remember that dream you had before you were constantly put down in math and science classes and told by that idiot chem teacher that girls would never reach the higher levels of science because they didn't have the brains for it--in 1994? Remember? He was a flipping moron.
DO NOT TRY TO HELP ANYONE. YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE WORLD. PLEASE. I AM THE FUTURE YOU: I HAVE SPENT 20 YEARS ON IT AND IT'S BULL. Stop thinking you can sacrifice yourself for a better future. You are nothing to the future. The world will continue to be a crappy place no matter how hard you try and you are ruining your chance at financial stability for yourself. Give up hope NOW and study astronomy like you wanted. I swear to god I wouldn't deceive you. You still might not be rich as a scientist but at least you won't spend your entire life trying to convince people at the top that children at the bottom should have an education. It is killing you. Even as a teacher, if you have two kids, you will be eligible for a partial scholarship at parks and rec. Can you imagine? You'll be getting benefits with a master's degree! No, REALLY, with wage freezes, you will. Plus people will hate you. The hate directed at you, a charity and public sector worker just trying to help children, by conservatives will be so pointed and burning and continuous that even thinking "my haters are my motivators" will not help. Every day you will read at least one bumper sticker insulting your entire profession, those who seek to help children in need, because people resent that money is being taken for this.
I repeat: You will regret working in social and human services. Hope all you want, but don't think for a minute this will make you happy. It will not make you happy.
You're a hard worker. Spend your time doing what you love and/or making money.
"Do the right thing" is meaningless. How is it right if your salary depends on getting taxes from someone who'd rather watch a child die in front of his very eyes, than give you a single penny? Who cares if he's right--he won, he has the money, stop trying to change the world.
Just. Stop.
You can't change it. I'm you, I tried. The only reason you think people are nice is because you're a young woman and people want to get in your pants so they are nice to you. They aren't really nice. If you were fat they'd be mean to you.
Read this until you believe it, because it's true no matter how sad it makes you. Give up now, not 20 years from now when you have sacrificed your prime earning years to help others and your CV screams, "I will never fit into the private sector and all my software experience is public sector."
If this makes you want to kill yourself because you're convinced that meaning in life is gained through service to humanity, and I know you struggle with feelings of it all being meaningless, all I can say is, do it before you have children. You're going to feel the same way in 20 years with no way out because you have kids. Life is about living. Move on.
Study astronomy even if you don't get straight As your first year. That's normal in college!
I repeat: the only reason they are telling you to help the poor is that they want a cheaper labor market in social services. Don't fall for it. It is a trick.
tl;dr I lectured my idiot self on trying to help others in my career. I berated myself because it was important and I thought I might not listen to just one sentence on it.
Thank you.
Well, one thing is for sure - we all die. Not one person among us that has ever beaten that. We must live the way we feel is most worthwhile. For some that might mean obtaining pleasure (even if it's at the expense and unhappiness of others). For others that means doing good anyway, because after all, we're all be wormfood one day.
You are most assuredly right in that living as if our lives were going to last forever is one duma$$ stupid thing to do, and if you spend your life trying to acquire goods and money, it's still not going to help you live forever. It might make you feel as if you will live together, but you will die anyway.
So yes, I have to thank you for giving us a reminder of the inevitable: mortality.
NEVER be afraid of asking questions or looking stupid. The worst mistakes I ever made were when I just assumed things, because I didn't want to look like an idiot to my boss. Turns out I ended up incorrectly assuming things, which made me look like even more of an idiot. I now make sure I'm 100% on the same page with people on anything that matters. Communication is very important. Of course, it's important to not take that to the extreme, where you're asking questions about everything - self sufficiency is important, too.
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