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All respect to your Mormon faith, but this is 2015. Many men do not make enough on their own to support a wife and family.
It's not 1950 where even a simple factory job could support a family okay, including a week off in summer. I know people who walked out of one job as teens/adults in the 1950s and found employment the next day or the same day.
Unless you were Johnny Screw up, you were able to find a job back then.
Today we have people with advanced degrees cooking burgers for less than ten dollars an hour.
Men don't have to support a family alone now and many women WANT to work.
So your probably going to say that a housewife if not a contributing part of the family.
A man's job is to make sure that his family is taken care of financially. That is what we are supposed to do. That is our purpose in life. Having a wife that helps with that responsibility is a cut to a man. We as men are not taking on the job we were placed in by relying on our wives to take on that job.
Um..... what decade do you live in? A man's responsibility to his family is to help take care of them financially, physically, emotionally, and however else he needs to. In today's world, a woman's responsibility is to split that responsibility with her husband.
My wife makes a lot more than I do, yet we both contribute to the well being of the family. I'm not cut by it. I'm proud of my wife for choosing her own path that has allowed our family to have nicer things, a nicer life, and an overall better quality of life. We share in those responsibilities.
You need to get with the times, my friend. Seems like you're stuck in the 50's and don't really understand what a man's role is.....
All respect to your Mormon faith, but this is 2015. Many men do not make enough on their own to support a wife and family.
It's not 1950 where even a simple factory job could support a family okay, including a week off in summer. I know people who walked out of one job as teens/adults in the 1950s and found employment the next day or the same day.
Unless you were Johnny Screw up, you were able to find a job back then.
Today we have people with advanced degrees cooking burgers for less than ten dollars an hour.
Men don't have to support a family alone now and many women WANT to work.
You need to re read my posts.
In a perfect world the mans income should take care of all the financial needs of the family. My wife and I both work. We also live in a high cost of living area. She works 3 nights a week and I work a five day a week 40 hour work schedule.
The Proclomation to the Family came out in the mid 1990's and not the 1950's.
Today we do have people with advanced degrees and the majority of these people chose degrees that did not pay. How many sociology majors do we need in the world?
Many women want to work at the exspence of raising their own kids. I see it all the time. I see woman all the time, some of them work where I work, they don't need to work and they choose that over raising their kids. Yes they want to work but they don't have to work.
Um..... what decade do you live in? A man's responsibility to his family is to help take care of them financially, physically, emotionally, and however else he needs to. In today's world, a woman's responsibility is to split that responsibility with her husband.
My wife makes a lot more than I do, yet we both contribute to the well being of the family. I'm not cut by it. I'm proud of my wife for choosing her own path that has allowed our family to have nicer things, a nicer life, and an overall better quality of life. We share in those responsibilities.
You need to get with the times, my friend. Seems like you're stuck in the 50's and don't really understand what a man's role is.....
So I take it your wife doesn't really need you at all. She could probably get by without you around. That is unfortunate. But then again, you have all those nice shiny things. Just because something is accepted does not make it right.
So I take it your wife doesn't really need you at all. She could probably get by without you around. That is unfortunate. But then again, you have all those nice shiny things. Just because something is accepted does not make it right.
Just because something is accepted by you as being right, doesn't make it right.
Please don't turn this into a discussion about religious beliefs. There is another forum for that.
I actually somewhat agree with SOON2BNSURPRISE.
My husband follows the "men take care of the household, women take care of the family" ideals. I was the breadwinner in our relationship for a long, long time. I was the one with the work awards, raises every job I got (my salary went up every time I got a new job), better job opportunities, and a lot of volunteer experience.
At one point I spent 40 hours a week working, going to school full-time, doing my senior project, volunteering 20 hours a week, AND still had time to meet up with my then-fiance (now husband) once in awhile. It was exhausting and I had white flashes at work where I almost passed out due to huge burn out.
But after awhile, it became apparent with the new job market that I just could not continue to do this. Yes, I get new jobs once in awhile with a salary higher than the last one, but the job market is more vindictive now and they fire you for whatever reason they want to. Meanwhile, my husband who had struggled professionally before is now bringing home the bacon, has more stable job trajectory, and is now more employable than I.
I don't fault him for this, I'm actually proud of him. However, I'm pretty much screwed professionally. New economy has made it harder, before my disability wasn't an issue because I had tons of different fields to choose from and there were lots of different opportunities and less strict requirements. Now, it seems only a handful of fields exploded in popularity and the old "opportunities" only show up 2-3 times a year. It's harder for me to find employment now that the requirements of businesses that are hiring is so strict. I'm literally left with no other choice than to either continue to take bad -- excuse me-- ANY job that's willing to hire me only to be terminated later, choose to quit with the job market and start my own business, or be a drain to society and never do anything ever again by taking disability and that's it.
So now my husband works and I'm at home. No children yet. I grew up with an absent father and a mother that worked all the time. My grandmother raised us. What this did, was that my brother and I have a much closer relationship with our grandmother. Our mother? We pretty much just love her because she's our mom, and in my case, I pretty much put up with her. It's hard to feel close to your own mother if she's working 60+ hours a weeks for nearly 2 decades. Yes, Mom did a lot for us, but at the same time... they were financial stuff, if we wanted emotional support we had to rely on Grandma or our siblings/cousins/friends.
It's a tough life to grow up with no nurturing from your mother OR father. It's even tougher when your "mom" for most of your life (grandma) is getting older and older and older. Soon our "real" mom (grandma) will die, and our actual mom (Mom) will be the only one left... still working those 70+ hours a week (yes her hours worked is longer now). I personally wouldn't know what to do if Mom retires and no longer has to work. How can I as a person build a relationship with her after she basically neglected us and didn't parent much for almost 30 years?
When one parent is the bread winner, you at least have another parent to nurture and raise you with support. When both parents are out of the picture because they abandoned the family or worked too hard, and you have to find someone else to nurture you and raise you... well, that is, in my opinion, not an ideal situation. Everyone needs their parents. A grandparent, an aunt/uncle, babysitter, sibling, cousins, any other adult.... just simply cannot replace good ol' Mom and Dad.
And as for a husband and wife. I think one needs to work and the other stays at home. Taking care of the housework and other chores is a pretty tough job in of itself, when both spouses work and split all responsibilities it puts way too much strain in the relationship. My husband and I got into more arguments, were more stressed and more unhappy when we both worked (however short it was). I do not mind the pay cut that we take with only one of us working and the other staying home. My husband has stated over and over that he'd rather one of us work, because ever since I stopped working, our marriage and home-life improved. We weren't arguing as much, weren't stressed as much. What's that saying? Happy wife = happy home?
So I take it your wife doesn't really need you at all. She could probably get by without you around. That is unfortunate. But then again, you have all those nice shiny things. Just because something is accepted does not make it right.
She would make it just fine on her own. As would I. I guess I don't see the problem with people being able to support themselves. If something happened to me, I can rest easy because I know she can take care of the family.
But I see where you're going with this. You think it's important that someone "need" you. Does it make you feel in control when you think your spouse can't make it without you?
Just because this behavior went on for years and was accepted for a long time, doesn't make it right either. What's right is that we have the freedom to choose how we want to live. There's no rule book that says the wife has to stay at home and tend to the house and children while the men go to work. We work because we both want a better quality of life for us and our kids.
I'm confident enough in my marriage that I'm not concerned that my wife will leave me because she makes more money than me. I'm good to her (and vice versa) and support her. She stays because she wants to. I'd much rather have it that way than know she stays because she can't go anywhere else.
As for our kids, we are both there for them all the time. When we are home, we're doing things with them. I coach both the kids in baseball, and she coaches my oldest in basketball (she played in college). When we aren't playing sports we go to the park, go camping, play in the yard, etc... Our kids have both their parents around equally and we both work. They don't need us at home during the day because they aren't there. When one gets sick, one of us works from home while we take care of them.
Sabiya, our house is spotless. It's not that difficult a task if both parties pitch in. So one person needing to stay home to play house only works if someone is a slob. I clean and she cleans. Every day when we come home, we take 20 minutes or so to clean up anything that needs it. Because we don't ever let it get messy, there's not that much to do.
In MY perfect world the mans income should take care of all the financial needs of the family. My wife and I both work. We also live in a high cost of living area. She works 3 nights a week and I work a five day a week 40 hour work schedule.
The Proclomation to the Family came out in the mid 1990's and not the 1950's.
Today we do have people with advanced degrees and the majority of these people chose degrees that did not pay. How many sociology majors do we need in the world?
Many women want to work at the exspence of raising their own kids. I see it all the time. I see woman all the time, some of them work where I work, they don't need to work and they choose that over raising their kids. Yes they want to work but they don't have to work.
I changed the sentence for you. It is your ideal world, not everyone's.
Thanks for the laughs OP but I'm probably laughing at something other than what you intended. lol
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