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I started a new job where I like the work, but there seems to be a noticeable difference between my personality and the personalities of my coworkers and bosses. For example, I'm much more introverted than most there. There's already been some tension because I've voiced my desire for a healthy work-life balance rather than being a workaholic, and I am someone who prefers to work independently rather than be micromanaged. My coworkers pretty much just work when asked and laugh at the boss's nitpicky emails. They don't understand why I don't want to go to the Christmas party or get beers after work. They have silly contests and bets with each other that I would rather not partake in (I do have a sense of humor, but these people act like fratboys and I'm too old for that crap). They don't understand why those things would irk me. Luckily, most of my work will be done out of the office, so I won't have to have too much face-to-face contact with them. For anyone who's been in my shoes, what are some tips for surviving and thriving in a workplace where other people's personalities clash with yours?
Well you don't have to to be bffs with your coworkers but there are some minimums. Like you need to show up at the holiday party. Go for an hour and go home. Accept occasional trips for beers. Not all. But a few.
One tip I have is to be really open about a non-consequential area of your life so you seen open and friendly. Like books or food or sports. That way they connect with you and do not think you are an outsider.
As for the other issues? It sounds like you don't like your bosses management style. Different challenge.
OP, for your coworkers to invite you for beers after work must mean they like you or they want to like you. Just make a short appearance at the bar. Regarding your ultimate issue, you're correct in that you shouldn't be expected to do such things since you're just there to perform a job, but it's good politics to appear to like your coworkers enough to hang out with them outside of work. I've never not wanted to hang out with coworkers outside of work. There are certain coworkers I would not want to specifically to associate with outside of the job, but I have no problem, in principle, with hanging-out with coworkers.
You don't need to get personal with the co-workers. Just show up, do your job, and go home.
Correct.
I've had "friends" and an odd relationship or two from work, but for the most part I've never been super friendly with my coworkers either. I work, do the job and leave it at the office when I leave. The end. Noone says you have to socialize with them any more than usual.
I started a new job where I like the work, but there seems to be a noticeable difference between my personality and the personalities of my coworkers and bosses. For example, I'm much more introverted than most there. There's already been some tension because I've voiced my desire for a healthy work-life balance rather than being a workaholic, and I am someone who prefers to work independently rather than be micromanaged. My coworkers pretty much just work when asked and laugh at the boss's nitpicky emails. They don't understand why I don't want to go to the Christmas party or get beers after work. They have silly contests and bets with each other that I would rather not partake in (I do have a sense of humor, but these people act like fratboys and I'm too old for that crap). They don't understand why those things would irk me. Luckily, most of my work will be done out of the office, so I won't have to have too much face-to-face contact with them. For anyone who's been in my shoes, what are some tips for surviving and thriving in a workplace where other people's personalities clash with yours?
Well, it sounds like the old "If I was younger I'd be joining, but at my age, I'm too tired of this crap"
Don't feel bad, I would be the same. "Let me do my work, leave me alone and go away....Thanks"
Well you don't have to to be bffs with your coworkers but there are some minimums. Like you need to show up at the holiday party. Go for an hour and go home. Accept occasional trips for beers. Not all. But a few.
Eh, sorry, but no. I already spend 40+ hours a week at work, not counting a commute that can easily be an hour each way. That's way more time than I spend with my family or real friends. I don't feel the need to socialize with co-workers outside of work. When I am done on Friday, I am DONE. I think a lot of people don't have any sort of life outside of work (or they don't want to go back to it) and so it's always some event like a birthday, anniversary, etc that you are expected to attend or worse yet also give money to. No thanks.
I find that while there are coworkers out there who do want to make friends, many don't. Many invite you to lunches and such so they don't feel too lonely during work or wants to gossip about someone at work. Many coworkers are not honest with their true personalities, saving that for families and close friends. Being peer pressure to participate when you don't want to, you shouldn't have to. I am also an introvert, although I enjoy office events. If no one starts the event, I wouldn't start it, but will join and help put if invited. That's me. I also refuse to go out for lunch with them because I don't feel like having to split the bill with them. I eat what I want and pay what I owe, I don't want to share paying for that expensive burger that you picked out.
Work is a social club today. Its a high school for adults. .. Like joining a fraternity.. If you don't clique with your co workers and management you won't last long.. Regardless of how great of an employee you are.
Find something else.
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