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Are there many other that have had to take a job far from where you live or a job relocation and because homes aren't selling you're not living with your spouse, kids, partner, etc.?
A friend's husband found a job out of the state where they live and they can't sell their home so they're living apart and supporting to living arrangements. My husbands job is relocating 2 hours away from our home, he's been with the company 20+ years, and he's getting a nice cheap apartment close to the new work location while we wait until spring to try and sell our house. At least he can come home weekends, or me go there, but having to pay for 2 places to live is a royal pain in the arse.
I'm wondering if this is happening quite a bit for people with the current job situation, lack of jobs.
We did for 6 weeks and we were able to visit most weekends but it was still hard. I can't imagine doing it on a long-term basis or if we couldn't visit. We also did webcam chats nightly. I know people who are doing the real thing-permanently living apart and it can't be easy.
My friend was underwater and couldn't sell either. He ended up renting the home and moving his whole family to the new city. A realtor manages the property locally. They have been renting it out for over 4 years.
My late DH and I did it for 3 years during 1989-1992 between San Diego(he) and Dallas(me). Lots of reasons. He accepting transfer (v. layoff) on a job he had only been in a year and before that long term unemployment, me in a good stable job. Kids in final years of high school and college tuition looming ahead. Cost of a new place in San Diego -- either as rental or buying -- would have us living in marginal areas on just his paycheck. Housing market in our area was very bad but in San Diego it was a sellers market! It was before the internet or flat rate long distance was mainstream available to the public and hard to find good air travel deals. We found ways to work around the distance and communication issues but it was very difficult and holding down a demanding job and raising a teenage son alone was a nightmare.
My Dad, however, did change jobs a bit when I was growing up and a few times he went ahead while the house was being sold, or a new house was being built or just waiting for the school year to end. It was always just a few hours' drive and he would rent a room in someone's house and always come home Friday night and leave early, early on Monday morning. We as a family hardly missed a beat! The trauma was in the move and new school....but no issues with the weekday absences. Today, with skype and emails, it seems if the other parent is home on the weekends, this isn't a big deal beyond the financial stress.
Not to criticize, but I don't understand how people can't harden themselves to longer commutes. I did a 3.5 hour commute in each direction for 2.5 years. It is something that you can condition yourself to. At the end of the day, even though exhausted, I am still at home with my wife in bed and can sit with my kids for 30 minutes and also have weekends.
Doing this is certainly not desirable, but I would rather do that then be apart from my family.
At least my family has medical insurance now and can eat properly.
My husband and I are contemplating doing this if I get a job in another state. He will move out of our current place, rent a room in someone's house to keep costs low, and then I will move to the job area and do the same. That way having two "households" won't break the bank!
We wouldn't be sure how long it would last, but it'd probably be like a year at the most. We decided in that year all vacations one of us would fly out to see the other AND we'd also use skype to see each other on the computer
I think it can be done if you have a solid marriage AND communicate well, even 15 minute daily phones calls are better than nothing. BTW we did something like this before, but it was only a few months.
Not to criticize, but I don't understand how people can't harden themselves to longer commutes. I did a 3.5 hour commute in each direction for 2.5 years. It is something that you can condition yourself to. At the end of the day, even though exhausted, I am still at home with my wife in bed and can sit with my kids for 30 minutes and also have weekends.
Doing this is certainly not desirable, but I would rather do that then be apart from my family.
At least my family has medical insurance now and can eat properly.
In all my experiences with long distance employment, all parties concerned were in management jobs that were often way beyond conventional 8-5 working hours. Not that unusual for a manager to leave the office at 6:30 or 7pm and be back sitting at the work desk at 7am. Tack on 3.5 hour commutes each way and no kid should be up that early or that late on a school day. Skype is better if the work schedule requires those kinds of hours. I am glad it worked out for you, tho. Betcha got to listen to some great books on tape or became an NPR fan!
3.5 hours each way every day? Are you out of your mind? Maybe if I was paid 100 bucks an hour and only had to work 4 hour days. That is Cleveland to Cincinnati. Screw that.
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