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I work as an administrative assistant in a non-profit organization. I have a college degree and have held executive type jobs in the past, but then I had children and decided to stay home with them for 17 years. When I decided to go back to work, I chose this job because of this very unique organization that means a lot to me and I see it as a chance to serve, as well as employment. I don't work in this position because I can't get anything better, I want to work there. I am intelligent, well-spoken and articulate and come across as very professional but friendly. People usually treat me as an equal to the rest of the staff, because I am equal. Our hierarchy is that we're all equal and all report to Bossman. There are only 5 of us in the office. It's listed like this on all of the materials and most people understand this.
Until yesterday.
A woman I had never seen before came to the front desk where I happened to be standing. She asked for a coworker of mine and I told her the "Jane" wasn't available and could I help her? As a side: While she was asking for the coworker, she put her hand on the doorknob to the locked back office, expecting, I suppose, that I would just unlock it and let her in because she said so. I didn't unlock it because we don't do that. Everyone is escorted and you have to be invited back.
Anyway, I asked if I could help her and she said "I need to see "Jane" to give her this envelope and key". Jane was locked in her office with the cash from donations and on the phone with the bank working out something related to the finances. There was no reason that Snotty Susie needed to know that information, so I told her that I would be happy to give them to Jane but that Jane was busy and she couldn't be interrupted. Snotty Susie said "Well, I need to give this to her" and put her hand on the door to the back office and tried to open it. The door only unlocks with a buzzer, so she couldn't open it thankfully.
I introduced myself to her and told her again that I would be happy to take the items and give them to Jane when she was available. She looked at me like I was an idiot and said "Ummmm, I don't feel like I want to give it to you, so ummm, no, I want to do it myself to make sure she actually gets it".
What the heck? She had never even met Jane before, only had spoken to her on the phone just that morning when Jane called her asking her to bring the items she was supposed to be dropping off. So itsit's not like she knew Jane but didn't know me. Why did she speak to me that way? I told her once again with a bit more firmness that Jane was not available and she could either give the items to me, her co-worker, or she'd have to come back later. At this point I had figured out the key was for a lock box from a fundraiser our organization had done that weekend, so I knew Jane wanted that key and would be really annoyed by all of this. Well, Snotty wouldn't leave it, she just gave me her phone number and said "Tell Jane to call me as soon as possible, do you understand?" Snotty then walked away and about 4 minutes later, Jane came out of her office and I told her what had happened and that she might be able to catch Snotty if she hurried. She was obviously annoyed but did catch up with her in the parking lot where she was gossiping with some other people and got the key. She said she asked Snotty "why didn't you just give this to Amy, she could have given it to me and saved me the trouble of having to chase you down" (Jane is outspoken) and Snotty said "I didn't want to leave it with the secretary" and sort of smirked like she expected Jane to agree with her.
I don't know why, but I'm really bothered by this. It's been eating away at me all day. I know I shouldn't care, but I do, it hurt my feelings and I don't know what to do if this happens again. Snotty isn't some big-wig, she's a volunteer who has to put in a certain amount of hours to get a discount for her kid. It's very likely I'll run into her again and I want to make it clear that I won't be treated that way. When I was discussing what had happened with Jane, Bossman came up and heard what had happened and was also not pleased,he felt like it was an indictment against him, like he doesn't choose trustworthy employees.
I don't even know why I posted this, I guess I just wanted someone else to read it and maybe help me figure out why I'm so bothered by a small thing and how to handle it if it happens again.
Tl;DR - volunteer was rude to the secretary of nonprofit organization because she's "just the secretary" and can't be trusted to receive a key to give to a co-worker.
Why should you be bothered? She was the rude, unprofessional one trying to score "points" off you in a failed power play. Who came off looking like an idiot? Let it go. It's not worth being bothered about.
I'd have smiled to myself for standing firm making the DB have to deal with my boss and laugh at being the one who treated her as though she couldn't be trusted to come into your area....
I used to work security and kind of enjoyed making others have to wait for another exec to guide them through the area, even if it was very easy to tell them where the room was...
Believe you me, she's probably still grinding her teeth about you so don't worry. She may have learned her lesson and then again, maybe she'll try this crap again and you can make her crawl...
She may have been burned before by leaving something with a secretary that didn't get passed along. Given you said it was the key to a fund raiser lock box, I probably wouldn't have turned it over to someone other than the person designated to get it either.
Think for a minute how you think about her. You refer to her as "Snotty." To you she's just a volunteer and you made sure to let her know you were the power person in that conversation. Well, non profits depend on their volunteers and to treat them as beneath the paid staff is a sure way to lose those volunteers. You should be grateful for your volunteers.
She told her to drop the key off which to me would have implied she would be there to receive it. She apparently didn't tell her if she wasn't available the key should be given to you. That's what she should have done and what would have prevented the whole confrontation between you and the volunteer.
You handled yourself perfectly. You're upset because she was incredibly rude, condescending and insulting.
Most of my working life was secretarial work of varying degrees. Smart people realize the secretary is the one you have to shmooze. He/she can put you on hold, lose your messages, and in your case, open a door - or not.
I don't blame you for being upset. But, the reality is that you were the one with the power and she hated it LOL. So, maybe you can remember that and next time enjoy your power :-)
I don't even know why I posted this, I guess I just wanted someone else to read it and maybe help me figure out why I'm so bothered by a small thing and how to handle it if it happens again.
Tl;DR - volunteer was rude to the secretary of nonprofit organization because she's "just the secretary" and can't be trusted to receive a key to give to a co-worker.
You're probably offended because you did all the right things, she did not, and she got away with it. No worries. First rule: take no harm yourself from the interaction, check. Second rule: don't let bullying succeed, check. Third rule: don't let her get inside your head, not a check. Got to fix that. Not easy, but must be done.
Next time, if she doesn't want to leave it with you, fine, let her sit and wait. She can wait, or she can leave it with you. No, she can't author a customized third choice just for herself. Wait or leave it. And if she becomes rude, explain that you are very busy, that you have offered her choices, and that she can let you know when she picks one; in the meantime, part of your job is not having your integrity insulted.
Or you could ask your supervisor how she wants this person dealt with in the future. Explain that you felt your skill and integrity were insulted and that you don't think that's fair, and ask for freedom to take a limited stand on those matters. If your boss won't at least endorse that, I don't think much of your boss. A better boss handling would be: "I'll do better. Next time she comes in, tell her you are under strict orders to have her wait to talk to me, and I'll deal with her myself."
Back when I sold computers, I had to fire a couple of customers. For what? Being rude to the receptionist. "Look. If you're unhappy, wait until you get me on the phone, then unload. I'm paid to take a certain amount of it. But if I ever see my receptionist in tears again because of you, you'll need to take your business elsewhere. Clear?" I did that partly because they were penises and needed to go away, but partly for receptionist morale. They need to feel stood behind. So do you in this case, and your boss ought to be manager enough to realize it.
It doesn't matter what you do in life---someone will be there to treat you like garbage. I am a licensed health care professional and other licensed health care professionals will talk to us like we're idiots, even when they are 100% in the wrong. We just complain and move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff
She may have been burned before by leaving something with a secretary that didn't get passed along. Given you said it was the key to a fund raiser lock box, I probably wouldn't have turned it over to someone other than the person designated to get it either.
Think for a minute how you think about her. You refer to her as "Snotty." To you she's just a volunteer and you made sure to let her know you were the power person in that conversation. Well, non profits depend on their volunteers and to treat them as beneath the paid staff is a sure way to lose those volunteers. You should be grateful for your volunteers.
Good point. She might have been nervous giving anyone a key to a lock box and if Jane didn't say that she could leave the key with you, she might have been nervous to do so---let's say you did forget to give her the key, someone might have turned around and said to her, "Why did you leave this with the secretary instead of handing it directly to Jane?"
Sounds to me like Jane made this situation worse. She didn't tell her to leave the key if she wasn't available and she didn't have to stir up more trouble by coming back to you and report what she said. She could have defended your position to the volunteer if she wanted to but instead she came back to report some snark.
Some people are just like that. I'm a teacher and I've had parents say that all I'm doing is babysitting or that they pay my salary so they get to be my boss.
One woman even told me I am not in the same (higher)class as she was, and I just wouldn't understand. It was hilarious when she figured out our husbands worked for the same company. Then she bent over backwards being sugary fake sweet.
Goodness- I'm working with your kids. No need to be nasty.
Oh- one parent accused me of stealing her five year old son's belt. Umm...no. I don't have a black market dealing in kindergarteners clothing.
My advice...realize nasty people are usually miserable. That's why they are so nasty. The lady who said I wasn't in her "class" was getting divorced and her kids were acting up. Maybe your volunteer was fired from a job or let go, and she resents not getting paid. Maybe she's never even held a job. Whatever her reason for nastiness, it's not due to you. She would have been just as nasty with someone else.
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