Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It doesn't matter the reasons why he doesn't want to go to the military. It's the fact that he definitely knows it wouldn't be a good fit for him. Some people enter the military without being sure it'll be a good fit for them and end up regretting the decision.The military expects to completely change a person's identity for the benefit of the military. Not a good choice for a man who wants to independently follow his own path.
Besides, there are tons of menial and boring jobs in the military. Like being a cook or working in supplies. How do we know he doesn't join the military, work a menial job, comes out of the military, and finds out his military job doesn't lead to something better? It's ridiculous how people join the military and end up as a cook. You go through all that training just to spend 16 hour days making slop for a bunch of ungrateful jerks and superiors who can yell at you over a spot of food on your uniform just cuz they're having a bad day. Then you exit the military and the only saleable skills your military cooking experience can get you is flipping burgers at McDonalds. Same thing goes with working in supplies. You spend all your time storing and unloading gym equipment for servicemen and then get out and you can only expect a job at the local YMCA with your skills.
Most military jobs don't transfer to anything good in the civilian world. So many vets I've met went into the military to get away from crappy job options only to come out and those same crappy jobs are waiting for them.
The military is a terrible idea if you wanna get ahead in the civilian world.
I had a friend who went into the Navy to escape his minimum wage K-Mart job in a economically depressed small town. After 4 years of being basically a door guard, got out and back to working at K-Mart for minimum wage again. Of course what you put into the service is what you get out of it. If you're smart and ambitious you can do some interesting things.
I hate being a menial worker. I hate seeing my measly paychecks and seeing how I am not getting ahead, after all the crap I'm put through. Being chewed out by idiots. Being told to go faster, faster, faster. I do not necessarily feel depressed by just how unpleasant these workplaces are, but by the fact I am not contributing anything to society and my contributions have no value.
Since I moved to LA six months ago I have been fired three times, most likely because I seem "unprofessional." It is hard to stay sane after being dragged across the dirt, and continuously kicked on the ground.
I need another "job" to stay afloat. How should I approach this kind work in the future, so I don't run risk of becoming homeless again? I currently drink and chain smoke while at home to zap some of my sadness and rage, and I will continue to do that, but how can I appear happy at my job in the future, or even something that I'm not?
First of all, you cannot afford to buy booze or cigarettes. Most people perceive smokers as being weak and defective, so you should stop. You must know that alcohol isn't a cure for anything. Since you have been fired 3x for being unprofessional, how about getting a clue that you are in need of improvement? Have you ever heard the expression, "Fake it 'til you make it?" Model yourself after the people around you who are successful, and pretty soon you will be more successful. It wouldn't hurt to get a medical check up either. Maybe you are depressed?
Attitude is everything. If you take pride in your work, no matter how menial, and do just a little bit more than what is expected of you, you could climb out of the cycle of failure you are in.
I had a friend who went into the Navy to escape his minimum wage K-Mart job in a economically depressed small town. After 4 years of being basically a door guard, got out and back to working at K-Mart for minimum wage again. Of course what you put into the service is what you get out of it. If you're smart and ambitious you can do some interesting things.
Absolutely right, and him ending right back up where he started is 100% on him.
Regardless though, the military isn't the point. The point is the OP's attitude.... he was offered a suggestion and completely disregarded it for the most pathetic of reasons - his hair lol.
That kind of attitude extends Waaaaaaaayyy past the military, and whether the OP realizes it or not, a professional appearance is actually important in the work place. There's no point in asking for advice if a person is not willing to accept that either.
And some people enter the military and then go on to make stellar careers out of it. Hate the military all you want, but have you seen any current pay scales? They're not doing too bad at all these days - And being a cook or working in supply would be a VAST improvement to anything the OP has done thus far. (and actually supply is a pretty cushy job in the military)
Yeah, so hows that working out for him so far? Don't suppose you missed the thread title did you? Here...
How to cope with the depression and hopelessness of being a menial worker?
Yes, people make stellar careers in the military. But you have to get out of the military sooner or later. And when military people get out, they find out it's damn near impossible to translate those stellar careers into the civilian world. That's why so most military dudes end up back with the same crappy job prospects they originally went into the military to escape.
It doesn't matter how cushy being a cook or supplies is in the military because he has to leave the military sooner or later. When he does leave, he finds out his work as a cook or supply lead to menial jobs a high schooler can get. So he goes into the military, has a vast improvement in career, comes out of the military and takes a huge nosedive in terms of career and finances. Is that such a smart idea?
Yes, he feels hopeless and depressed right now. But he's only 24. He has a lot of time to find his path. No one said following your own independent path will automatically give him a direction. In many cases, it leads you going blind. But it's a good start when he's asking for help.
Him not wanting to join the military based on his hair may seem like a petty reason. But at least he knows what he does not wanna do. That's a good thing. He should make a list of what he definitely knows he doesn't want to do and does wanna do and go about pursuing his goals from there.
Binge drinking and chain smoking ain't gonna solve anything. You're just throwing your money away and destroying your lungs and liver. If you're so unwilling to change your ways to improve your life, then you can continue to throw yourself these pity parties because a menial job is all you'll get.
It's sad to see that you are floundering. You appear to have some personal challenges that would need some work so you can move forward. I'm sure when you have had enough of dealing with your issues in an unconstructive manner, you will start seeing an improvement in your situation. Please understand I am not saying this to be mean or pass judgement. It's worrisome for me to see someone suffer. I wish you the best.
I hate being a menial worker. I hate seeing my measly paychecks and seeing how I am not getting ahead, after all the crap I'm put through. Being chewed out by idiots. Being told to go faster, faster, faster. I do not necessarily feel depressed by just how unpleasant these workplaces are, but by the fact I am not contributing anything to society and my contributions have no value.
Since I moved to LA six months ago I have been fired three times, most likely because I seem "unprofessional." It is hard to stay sane after being dragged across the dirt, and continuously kicked on the ground.
I need another "job" to stay afloat. How should I approach this kind work in the future, so I don't run risk of becoming homeless again? I currently drink and chain smoke while at home to zap some of my sadness and rage, and I will continue to do that, but how can I appear happy at my job in the future, or even something that I'm not?
I hate to say this but... suck it up!! I was in your shoes. One menial job after another. I finally got sick and tired of it so found a better paying job in a hospital, plus worked a P/T job on week ends. I worked every weekend and holiday at night so I could get night pay and time and half. Then I went back to college.
I never took my SATs or ACTs so I had to go back to my High School and sit with the 17 and 18 yr olds and take my ACTs- I was 34. I was almost the same age as the teacher/ proctor.
Did I have money? No. I did with less so I could go to the community college.
I went for nursing to become an RN. Was it my dream to become a nurse? Hell no.
But at the time that was the most pay with the least amount of education (2 yrs), plus I could work in a dr's office, a nursing home, or a hospital... and in any state.
Did I like the job. No, but I could support myself and make decent money, and I gained experience to get an even better related government job.
At the time I had 2 kids and was going thru a divorce. Plus in my last semester I was in a severe car accident and went to school in a neck brace and my arm in a sling. I also went to school full time and worked full time. I literally slept every 36 hrs. I brought my nursing uniform and a change of clothes with me at all times, because I usually got dressed in public bathrooms.
If you are so miserable with your life, just remember ONLY YOU can change it. Instead of spending money on alcohol and cigarettes, pay for and see a therapist and your doctor to rule out any medical problems. You may need medication to get you started. Then you have to start liking your self more to get up and do something.
Only you can change your life if you really want to. Nobody can do it for you.
1. SHOW UP (on time, every day)
2. STAND UP (and perform the assigned tasks, whatever they are)
3. SHUT UP (quit 'ur bitchin')
Nobody cares if you are happy or not.
Please do not listen to negative comments like this. I suspect it's the last thing you need right now. All I can do is give you my advice, as someone who suffered from depression until several years back. People who never suffered from depression oftentimes do not understand it at all, some even view it as a moral failing. Nothing could be further from the truth. In my case, it runs in the family and I was most likely born with it.
I first tried simply getting antidepressants from my family physician, since my policy did not cover psychiatrist visits. That was a mistake, even though I have a fairly good doctor. It wasn't his speciality or area of expertise, and you need a specialist, especially if the depression is severe. I finally decided to see the psychiatrist after trying several medications that weren't working. It wasn't cheap, I'll admit, it was like $200 the first visit and $100 for followup visits. I also had to wait 3 months to get in.
I will tell you it was the best money I've ever spent and the wait was very well worth it. He was able to explain the different medications available to me in greater detail than my family doctor ever did. He was able to tell me what side effects occurred with each with detailed specificity, which ones I could not drink on, which ones I could drink moderately on, which ones lessened or eliminated libido. I finally decided on Cymbalta. It was a tough medication to get on as the side effects were rough at first. But once it was in my system I felt SO much better. I've been on it ever since and it's been a Godsend. It slightly lessened my libido but I was in such pain before it was a price I personally was willing to pay.
I would focus on treating your depression first as you don't want to make any major life changes (stressors) when you aren't thinking clearly. I would combine this with outpatient counseling. If money is tight for you, realize you should be able to locate counselors in your area who work on a sliding scale. You can locate them through your county's mental health program. Good luck!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
