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I have two weddings in the next year, and I have been thinking too much about many things (presents, dress, etc) a bit of a crazy fact, for everyone one who is invited to a wedding it can became like a "problem"
So I made this thread to ask what are weddings like in your country, not about the traditions and the ceremony (this ones as well) but what people do after, before, and during the wedding.
Attending a wedding here became a problematic nowadays, especially if your economy is not very good, you need to spend a lot of money in these details, so I'll name some facts about weddings here:
- In the past the invitations were like postcards, people used to send to the snail mail, nowadays it has changed and invitations are made by e-mail or even worse: the bride/groom give it to a mutual friend to make it arrive to you. Tradition lost
- Presents: most of people prefer money, and the ideal amount of money is what the couple spend in the banquet, some people have to give more money than they can afford inder not to look "rude" I find this very annoying, not everyone can spend the same money and if the couple choose an expensive place it's not the guests fault.
Even worse: I've heard that some people give their bank account number to make guest send the money there other couples decide a minimun quantity they want to get...
Stag/Hen parties: crazy events... sometimes people hire a stripper to dance in the party, other people spend a week end out partying, generally craziness and more alcohol than usual.
Thank you cards: not popular and most of people don't send them.
And now, the weddings:
I suppose anything special, religious ir civil wedding. I think the percentage is 50% of each.
Bride have to wear something borrowed, something blue, and something new to be lucky.
Groom's necktie is cut by his friends sometimes.
Mostly celebrated in spring and summer.
Honeymoon: usually in other continent or exotic destination.
What are weddings like in your country? it is usually a grateful fact or some people dislike them?
I live in Trinidad (Caribbean island).
Here weddings differ based on the religion, the main religions here being Christian, Hindu, Muslim in that order.
Muslim weddings no alcohol is allowed so those weddings tend to be cheaper. It's usual practice for friends of the bride and groom to bring alcohol in the trunk of their car and sneak out during the reception to have a drink. Muslim weddings are also the briefest weddings of all
Catholic weddings MUST take place in a church. Out of all Christians Catholics are the most relaxed and allow the bride to wear strapless with no coverup.
Hindu weddings are elaborate, complex affairs full of pomp and ritual which last 3 days. The ceremony on the main day last about 3 hours. This often leads to a chaotic ceremony with people coming and going throughout the ceremony, people chatting etc. No meat or alcohol is allowed. Hindu weddings are therefore the cheapest of all and as a result the largest. I've been to Hindu weddings with 800 people.
Honeymoon tends to be somewhere nearby. Living in the Caribbean we have a lot of very desireable honeymoon locations a hop away.
I enjoy weddings even though sometimes I may dread going to a Hindu wedding if I don't feel to sit for 3 hours lol. But the food is always great so that makes up for it lol
In the USA, weddings can be expensive even for the guests that are close to the couple. The women are invited to bridal showers where one is supposed to give a personal gift to the bride. There is also a bachelor party for the groom usually the evening before the wedding. Also one needs to give a wedding to the couple. This can be a gift picked out from the bridal registry (which tends to be expensive) or one can indeed give a cash gift.
Somehow, I seem to miss weddings and funerals. I think most of the weddings I've attended in my life were my own, and it's been more t han 60 years since I have been to a funeral. I've stood a couple of times for people having private marriages, and attended lavish wedding parties in Jordan and Comoros, beside a few more modest and not very memorable ones for my nieces and stepdaughters.
Just imagine a bunch of middle-aged people trying to dance to bad top 40 hits that are now 5-10 years old, while being expected to give gifts and money to people you talk to probably once a year at best. I can't stand weddings.
In the Philippines, it is the groom who pays for everything ( wedding gown, gowns and clothes of the entourage, Reception and all the other expenses ( so if he doesn't have any money, he can't get married ).
In the Wedding Ceremony in the church the Groom has to give an Arras ( Arrhae ) to the bride which is consist of 13 coins. It symbolizes his promise to take care of his bride financially for the rest of his life.
After that, 2 people ( man and woman ) would put a veil on top of the bride's head and the rest on the shoulder of the Groom as a symbol of making them as one.
A tie ( Lazo ) is also put on the groom and bride binding them as one.
In the Reception, the Bride and the Groom have the Money Dance. They dance and guests will pin money on their clothes to help them start with their new life.
Last edited by Rozenn; 11-20-2013 at 07:33 AM..
Reason: Copyright issues
A typical wedding involves a great amount of planning despite 50% of them or so breaking up.
In the months before the wedding and reception, couples often enroll in the "wedding registries" of various department stores and ask for specific gifts. Brides-to-be typically celebrate a "wedding shower", in which they are given gifts.
In the week before the wedding, or sometime around that, there are usually wedding rehearsals, in which the wedding party and those who will be taking part in the ceremony (e.g. lectors, ushers, etc.) participate. Couples also commonly hold bachelor and bachelorette parties, to which strippers are invited and plenty of alcohol is served. Of course, this is a no-no for more serious / religious couples, and they do not generally hold them.
The first place you go on the actual date has traditionally been the church, though even individuals who are believing Christians have chosen (to my annoyance) specialty "destination" weddings, which are typically within a short distance of home (recent ones were set on a "rustic farm"-themed place), on a local beach, but sometimes may be very distant, such as on the Gulf Coast of Mexico. I'll only deal with local weddings.
After the church (or whatever) ceremony, it is usually time for the wedding party to take pictures outside the site where the wedding took place. Then, often, the bridge and groom are taken by the wedding party to have drinks at a local bar/s.
For the wedding reception, most couples usually hire a DJ. When the wedding party arrives, typically there is clanging of forks, knives, etc. from those present at the wedding reception. There is usually a buffet-style meal, although the classier weddings have had table service. After the eating is done it is time for dancing for however many hours the DJ is hired for. By this part of the wedding the participants (other than children, of course) are fairly well-lubricated. The "dollar dance" is an established tradition, in which the bride accepts money in exchange for dancing. Some other traditions are well-known too.
Honeymoons depend highly on the wealth of new couple and their families (if the parents are paying).
Essentially we had two ceremonies, one was more traditional celebrant service, in white dress and tux etc and then we had a second traditional Korean one.
The Korean one was lots of fun, we bought ourselves each a Hanbok (Traditional Korea Dress), and had to sit at the head of a room behind a table filled with dried fruit. Our families knelt before us and gave advice on how to have a successful marriage, which got us a number of laughs among the serious stuff. We shared a glass of Soju, had a fruit throwing ceremony,(we caught enough to get us 8 children), and finally I had to pick my wife up and piggy back her around the room to show I could support her.
Another thing done a bit different was the pre wedding photo secession, basically we spent a whole day in a photography studio getting out photos taken in lots of settings in all sorts of different clothing.
Getting married in South Korea was also quite hassle free and cheap, they have weeding halls in which you can by standard packages. The food, flowers, and the music are all stock standard depending on what package you sign up for (though we did come up with some of our own music) the photographers, the hairdressers, the make up artists and tailors etc were all employees of the venue. The venue also stocked a huge range of dresses and suits which we hired as part of the package. Though we did have to go to an independent tailor and purchase our own Hanbok.
We were able to organize everything from Australia and only showed up in Korea a week before the ceremony.
As for gifts it is normal in Korea to put a box in reception room into which people deposit money.
Last edited by danielsa1775; 11-20-2013 at 01:30 AM..
I dunno. I haven't been to many weddings and never thought about them. I got married in Germany.
I was married at the German public records office (Standesamt). I had no idea what to expect. You dress up for it though and all of my husband's extended family came from far and wide to witness it. During the ceremony, you are asked to sit at a desk and are confronted with all this paperwork you have to sign right then and there. His family made a huge deal out of this, taking what seemed like a million pictures. I had no idea what I was signing or why except it is what you apparently did at one of these things. My husband and I joke about all the possible things we could have agreed to because he didn't read it either.
There was a public servant who rambled for 30 minutes, no vows, and a ring exchange. You get a little folder with your marriage certificate in it. There was some wine and then the family went to a restaurant. Two days later, we had a reception for family and friends. It was a themed, open barred, drunken affair that lasted way late into the night. By far the high point of the whole business. People were very generous. I expected no gifts, just for everyone to show up and have fun, but the guests gave us a lot of money and neat things.
No honeymoon.
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other couples decide a minimun quantity they want to get... 
