Post X-mas thoughts, mood...
Well it's over...that big day...
A day that use to be the most special to myself and others as a child, has turned into a spectical of watching others, and being amazed at what others, who are fortunate, are still able to do or make of that day...
It's funny how everything goes in reverse as you get older...as a kid, X-mas meant the world to you and maybe not so much to parents...but as our parents age...it seems to mean more to them, and less to their off spring who are just trying to survive...
It becomes the one or two days through out the year when you got to gather resorces, you don't have, to either be somewhere or buy stuff that you ordinarily wouldn't...
It can become a unfair measure of your love...
But none the less, you try to do it, cause you know or sense that with each passing year, it has a more deminishing effect on those it use to mean so much to. In terms of fewer years left to get together, and just a general growing apart of those you once celebrated it with...
Everyone scatters...religiously, geographically, friendships scatter, love scatters...like a spreading Universe...things just seem to grow apart as we, they age...
As a child your parents comfort you that things will be alright; and as an adult you end up comforting them that things will be alright...
Now obviously this model doesn't fit everyones path...some are fortunate enough to have large close knit families, kids, grand-kids, and plenty of wealth to go around to keep things humming...
But then there's the other side...the homeless guy you see sitting on the curb...or the widow or kid in a orphan or the soldier seperated by an ocean, or the incarcerated ect ect...
After a while you just don't allow yourself to get caught up in the pre holiday hoopla...that way when it arrives, and is done...there's really no emotional rise or fall...just steadiness of thought...
And you count on the people in your life knowing already that you love them, irregardless of xmas or any other holiday...
It's a courtesy extended to you by some, there-by allowing you to preserve your emotions, time, energy and resorces for other more pressing matters like finding employment or paying bills, or trying to keep your house from forecloser...
All that being said...I still dream of that day when once again...I can (and others in my position who wish too) have a xmas celebration of all celebrations, complete with gifts, sleep overs, travel, entertainment and more...
Yes, I still dream of a day when I can make all of that possible for those in my life and nearby...
But until then I, we, can only bring that sparkle to others one day at a time in small packages of love, scattered throughout the year by constantly reminding them what they mean to us, through kind words or other gestures time and space allows us...
And with that, I guess we should get ready for the new year...
A day that use to be the most special to myself and others as a child, has turned into a spectical of watching others, and being amazed at what others, who are fortunate, are still able to do or make of that day...
It's funny how everything goes in reverse as you get older...as a kid, X-mas meant the world to you and maybe not so much to parents...but as our parents age...it seems to mean more to them, and less to their off spring who are just trying to survive...
It becomes the one or two days through out the year when you got to gather resorces, you don't have, to either be somewhere or buy stuff that you ordinarily wouldn't...
It can become a unfair measure of your love...
But none the less, you try to do it, cause you know or sense that with each passing year, it has a more deminishing effect on those it use to mean so much to. In terms of fewer years left to get together, and just a general growing apart of those you once celebrated it with...
Everyone scatters...religiously, geographically, friendships scatter, love scatters...like a spreading Universe...things just seem to grow apart as we, they age...
As a child your parents comfort you that things will be alright; and as an adult you end up comforting them that things will be alright...
Now obviously this model doesn't fit everyones path...some are fortunate enough to have large close knit families, kids, grand-kids, and plenty of wealth to go around to keep things humming...
But then there's the other side...the homeless guy you see sitting on the curb...or the widow or kid in a orphan or the soldier seperated by an ocean, or the incarcerated ect ect...
After a while you just don't allow yourself to get caught up in the pre holiday hoopla...that way when it arrives, and is done...there's really no emotional rise or fall...just steadiness of thought...
And you count on the people in your life knowing already that you love them, irregardless of xmas or any other holiday...
It's a courtesy extended to you by some, there-by allowing you to preserve your emotions, time, energy and resorces for other more pressing matters like finding employment or paying bills, or trying to keep your house from forecloser...
All that being said...I still dream of that day when once again...I can (and others in my position who wish too) have a xmas celebration of all celebrations, complete with gifts, sleep overs, travel, entertainment and more...
Yes, I still dream of a day when I can make all of that possible for those in my life and nearby...
But until then I, we, can only bring that sparkle to others one day at a time in small packages of love, scattered throughout the year by constantly reminding them what they mean to us, through kind words or other gestures time and space allows us...
And with that, I guess we should get ready for the new year...
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