Meet, potatoes and time
Posted 12-11-2013 at 09:59 AM by grumptacular
Eventually, I am going to have to go back out and meet someone new to share my life with. I know I don't need another person in order to make me complete, but I also know that I thrive when I am sharing with someone special to me.
As pretentious as this sounds, I am a great catch. I am just good enough looking, just intelligent enough, just kind enough, just humorous enough, and several other qualities that I may not be the best! but combined, give me the confidence to know that as a whole package, I'm worth it to a lot of women out there.
Right now, I'm no where near close to offering. Only here in the past week in particular, I'm just getting used to, and comfortable with not having my wife here, to share with. I don't feel lonely. I've let go of all convenience in having a partners help around the house. I'm moving in a healthy direction I think, and I feel with in an appropriate time frame for me as well.
So all in all, my self esteem, while low, isn't what my biggest issue is. It's the bitterness of having to start all over again and time. While the benefits will be wonderful in the end, the BS I will have to navigate to find that person does not seem fun or exciting. I am frustrated by the idea that I have so much "baggage" I have to bring to this person. Now, as a mature and responsible male, some of that baggage has to be open before taking the next step and I can appreciate that my laundry isn't going to smell nice to a lot of women. That's ok. I can accept that there are plenty of amazing and worth-while women out there who are compatible, and I'm sure we will hit it off nicely as well. Realistically however, those women take time to find, the experiences take time, and creating trust takes time, and if you can get through all that, taking the relationship to the next level takes time. It would be foolish of me to think that I might end up having any where from 6 to 10 girlfriends before I find "the one". That could take years! Who has that much time? And do I really want to invest myself that way?
I don't want to. I did the best I could, to be the best partner I could be, to prevent being in this situation I find myself in now. I am grateful that writing about it helps but Grrrrrrrr!!!
In the spirit of silver linings, I will find someone who really and truly can appreciate all that I have to bring to a partnership, even more so that my current wife. But that sure does look like a tremendously large, grey cloud
As pretentious as this sounds, I am a great catch. I am just good enough looking, just intelligent enough, just kind enough, just humorous enough, and several other qualities that I may not be the best! but combined, give me the confidence to know that as a whole package, I'm worth it to a lot of women out there.
Right now, I'm no where near close to offering. Only here in the past week in particular, I'm just getting used to, and comfortable with not having my wife here, to share with. I don't feel lonely. I've let go of all convenience in having a partners help around the house. I'm moving in a healthy direction I think, and I feel with in an appropriate time frame for me as well.
So all in all, my self esteem, while low, isn't what my biggest issue is. It's the bitterness of having to start all over again and time. While the benefits will be wonderful in the end, the BS I will have to navigate to find that person does not seem fun or exciting. I am frustrated by the idea that I have so much "baggage" I have to bring to this person. Now, as a mature and responsible male, some of that baggage has to be open before taking the next step and I can appreciate that my laundry isn't going to smell nice to a lot of women. That's ok. I can accept that there are plenty of amazing and worth-while women out there who are compatible, and I'm sure we will hit it off nicely as well. Realistically however, those women take time to find, the experiences take time, and creating trust takes time, and if you can get through all that, taking the relationship to the next level takes time. It would be foolish of me to think that I might end up having any where from 6 to 10 girlfriends before I find "the one". That could take years! Who has that much time? And do I really want to invest myself that way?
I don't want to. I did the best I could, to be the best partner I could be, to prevent being in this situation I find myself in now. I am grateful that writing about it helps but Grrrrrrrr!!!
In the spirit of silver linings, I will find someone who really and truly can appreciate all that I have to bring to a partnership, even more so that my current wife. But that sure does look like a tremendously large, grey cloud
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