David and Goliath To Have Long Awaited Rematch

In what’s been brewing for several millennia and hundreds of retaliatory verbal sparring matches, individual promoters for David and Goliath have finally announced a rematch. Fight enthusiasts are overjoyed to hear of the news and much commercial promoting is expected to ensue over the course of the next few months. There are even widespread rumors the match will consist of a “Deathcage-style” ring.

Promoters of the defending champion, King David, have erected signs and billboards outside of several major Las Vegas thoroughfares to promote support and ticket sales for the main event. In traditional garb, David is seen on the billboards holding a handy-dandy new slingshot in one hand while striking his best “Fighting-for-God” pose. No smiles adorn the face of David in these billboards as it’s quite clear he means business in this rematch.

On the other side, Goliath’s promoters have passed out fliers at area Wal-Mart’s showing the ancient gladiator dressed in his most fearsome armor whilst holding a shield and possessing a very menacing look on his face. The big wuss is still loathsome towards David after whining about David’s use of the slingshot in their last meeting. “I showed up on the field of battle some millennia ago to fight David man to man. The first thing he did was pull out a slingshot and knock me upside the head with a rock,” Goliath was quoted as saying.

Indeed, some fight enthusiasts have claimed David’s use of the slingshot could be seen as unfair according to traditional fight rules and regulations.

The last match ended in automatic victory for David after using a slingshot to pelt Goliath in the head with a rock knocking him unconscious. After Goliath fell to the ground, David then proceeded to behead Goliath with his sword. According to the rules and regulations, “Those who are beheaded in a fight face an automatic loss. The person performing the decapitation is the automatic winner.”