Death & Dying/ Grieving Process - About the Forum - City-Data Forum

Foodmuse · 10-13-2007, 05:07 PM

What about these realities of life?

Macrina · 10-13-2007, 05:21 PM

This could be a huge topic, if people will open up and talk.
I'm not sure; are you suggesting a forum for this, or beginning a thread to see what is the response? Sorry, sometimes I'm kind of dense....

Keeper · 10-13-2007, 06:15 PM

I think ppl will post their grief. It is hard to deal with life after you lose someone you love. If it hasn't happened to you then you may not understand how they feel.
I know I went to a chat room where I could put my feelings into words and the ppl there understood. It was a good grieving process for me. Your friends and other family may tell you, it is has been long enough, get over it, get on with your life, but it isn't easy.
It could work on this forum maybe a subforum under relationships. I just wouldn't want some coming in and putting people down for still grieving etc.

Miss Blue · 10-13-2007, 06:50 PM

I agree with Keeper, It would be so terrible for someone to come on this multi subject forum in such a fragile state of grief and have even one poster say something sarcastic..There are websites out there strictly for grieving people. Something for everyone

... The christian subforum may help the people who post over there if they are familiar with the posters, and are looking for spiritual help with their grief..But even with that, I would recommend a special grief only forum

tasmtairy · 10-13-2007, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keeper

I think ppl will post their grief. It is hard to deal with life after you lose someone you love. If it hasn't happened to you then you may not understand how they feel.
I know I went to a chat room where I could put my feelings into words and the ppl there understood. It was a good grieving process for me. Your friends and other family may tell you, it is has been long enough, get over it, get on with your life, but it isn't easy.
It could work on this forum maybe a subforum under relationships. I just wouldn't want some coming in and putting people down for still grieving etc.

What chat room, I need it!!
Thanks,

TAS

Sam I Am · 10-14-2007, 05:41 AM

This type forum would be great - but would need to be heavily moderated to keep the trolls from exploiting the grieving and pouring salt in a wound.

I'm not in agreement with it being in a Christian subforum - non-Christians grieve as well and may not be totally receptive to the basic Christian tenets of what comprises death, dying, and the afterlife if there is one. Many people simply do not believe in an afterlife of heaven or hell or purgatory or whatever, and I for one can see where that would be a point of contention. If the conversations could be limited to an individual's grief, okay, but not surrounded or cushioned in biblical promises or the gloom and doom of "well, he went to hell". I personally believe in the afterlife, but I can see where someone who didn't would find it objectionable. Whether the believers are right or wrong remains to be seen by those still on the planet, so what you're drifting over into is faith....and faith comes in many different forms.

My .02 again....

Keeper · 10-14-2007, 06:05 AM

I would suggest either a separate forum or a subform of relationships. I agree with you about the Christian forum not being the right place.
Having used something similiar I do think it would be a great help to many people, in fact there is a person posting in relationships now who is pouring his heart out about his wife who passed recently. I have been watching the thread and so far everyone has been very supportive.

A Grieving forum would be a place for this type of person, I know I would feel more comfortable putting something in a grief forum rather than relationships. If you have lost your husband, wife or child you sometimes just need to put the feeling down just to get the grief out.
I will volunteer to be a mod for it.

Katarina Witt · 10-14-2007, 09:38 PM

I too, agree it would need to be heavily moderated. People who are grieving are very fragile. Sarcastic comments, put downs, admonitions to "get a grip", etc would be very devastating. Even attempts at humor that don't come off funny could be difficult.

Miss Blue · 10-14-2007, 09:58 PM

I would be willing to agree to this type of forum only if it were heavilky moderated by someone sympathetic like Keeper..Also maybe Keeper can answer this. Is there a way that posts can be edited by a mod before they are put into the forum for reading? I am just so sensitive to someones fragility at this time in their lives.

Sam I Am · 10-15-2007, 03:42 AM

Blue, I'll take a stab at this and the other moderators can correct me if I'm wrong...

I think what you are asking is if posts to a forum can be placed in a queue and be reviewed for content prior to being released to the forum. I don't think so, and it presents a host of problems. First, the moderators are all volunteers - we all can moderate any forum, but we try to hang with the forums we have volunteered for and we tend to get a feel for the individual personalities in those forums. By holding the posts in queue, you're asking the moderators for that forum to pretty much be on call 24/7 to clear or deny a post and that's asking a lot of volunteers. It wouldn't be three days before someone would be complaining that their post didn't go up in a timely manner, but you have to consider that the moderators all have lives and this is what we do in our spare time. Although any mod would have the ability to clear or deny, they may not know the entire history of the poster or the reasons behind their post (which is why we tend not to drift a lot).

If something is posted that is blatantly awful, you have the option of reporting it by clicking on the little red triangle at the top of the post. The reported posts go into a main file that any moderator can look at and take action on if needed. But to put every post to a particular forum in queue and wait for someone to monitor the entire thread is asking a lot since we work this around our personal and business lives. I don't even know that the software has that capability, but from a practical standpoint I'm not sure that's the best way to work it. If it was, everything would go into queue.

I'd like to believe that in such a forum everyone would be on their best behavior - and to be honest, considering that C-D runs over 8000 posts per day, the number of problems we have overall are really not such a big portion as to put those kinds of limits on a forum.

That's my opinion anyway....but I could be entirely wrong. It happens a lot.