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Old 02-26-2015, 09:34 AM
 
1,314 posts, read 1,423,875 times
Reputation: 3420

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Quote:
Originally Posted by HaydenRiley328i View Post

in short really just searching for something . . . i can hang on to other than her
This is another telling phrase....
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Old 02-26-2015, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Honolulu, HI
23 posts, read 28,507 times
Reputation: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by mizzile View Post
Right. The fact that she's going without him, she'd planned to go before she met him, he doesn't want to live there at all and that he's only going to not get dumped doesn't tell us anything about their relationship. Not one thing.
If a woman follows a man so that he can better himself, people don't question it. Is that the part you have a problem with? Should she put her career on hold? In a relationship both parties must be willing to make sacrifices. He is willing to go and support her but doesn't want to drag her down. If he wants to spend the rest of his life with her relatively speaking 3 years is not a big deal. He's not going so he doesn't get dumped, he's going because he loves her.
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Old 02-26-2015, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Charlotte NC
7 posts, read 9,452 times
Reputation: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by mizzile View Post
Right. The fact that she's going without him, she'd planned to go before she met him, he doesn't want to live there at all and that he's only going to not get dumped doesn't tell us anything about their relationship. Not one thing.

respect your opinion and i have thought like you too over the course of this process. it should be said that i'm not going "not to be dumped" i'd be going because i see myself with this girl forever and Alaska is temporary... the end goal is not Alaska for her or me. i also don't understand your stance on she was going without me, i mean how was she to know i was a possibility? she started the process before her and i were dating are you suggesting she should've just waited for a relationship before she made her career decisions? that makes little to no sense to me. a person (me) can't always choose where they live however they can always choose WHO they are with. that is all, like i said everyone has a right to an opinion but i tend to disagree with portions of yours they just sound pessimistic.
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Old 02-26-2015, 09:40 PM
 
1,314 posts, read 1,423,875 times
Reputation: 3420
Quote:
Originally Posted by rachey_lynn View Post
If a woman follows a man so that he can better himself, people don't question it. Is that the part you have a problem with? Should she put her career on hold? In a relationship both parties must be willing to make sacrifices. He is willing to go and support her but doesn't want to drag her down. If he wants to spend the rest of his life with her relatively speaking 3 years is not a big deal. He's not going so he doesn't get dumped, he's going because he loves her.
I'm a woman.


I'm all for people going after what they want, but this type of thing almost never works out. For someone to uproot their live to a place they don't want to go for a new relationship with someone for whom the person's presence is optional is really just asking for a "learning experience."
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Old 02-27-2015, 02:12 AM
 
Location: Anchorage
134 posts, read 195,388 times
Reputation: 130
I have met a couple here who have been married for decades. They came up for his job. The woman told me the first year they were here, she did not want to be here and wanted to move out of Alaska. She said that was 17 years ago, and they are still here. At first she thought each summer might be the year they'd move back. Me personally I moved from Houston TX to here. If it dropped below 70 I was wearing a sweater at least. Now, I've lived in Alaska since March 2010, and it seems like decades from all the stuff I've gone through. And the husband I came up with became an ex the next year. Each winter is different, each summer is different, and I'm acclimatizing more each winter. Now I can go out in a thin skirt with no thermals, a t shirt and sweater when it is 0 here in Anchorage. And be outside long enough to scrape the ice from my car windows. When I haven't had a car, or it drops below 0, I do have a pair of jeans I'll wear. As long as I have some gloves on, and good shoes/boots, I'm fine. As far as activities, friends, jobs, it is like everyone says, each place is what you make of it and what you look for. Anchorage is a city, good and bad. Maybe start your own fitness business, who knows? Come up and see, if you don't like it, you can always go back. And if you two were meant for each other, you will be together again. Long distance relationships can work, but take work to do so, and hopefully visits to help.
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Old 03-04-2015, 10:03 PM
 
1,931 posts, read 2,168,614 times
Reputation: 1629
Quote:
Originally Posted by rachey_lynn View Post
Sounds like you'll be arriving sooner than I will so lets stay in touch and you can give me the skinny as a fresh face getting acquainted with the last frontier lol. I was very weary about leaving HI at first but living here has changed me and forced me to grow into a stronger (and I believe better) person, I know moving to Alaska will have the same effect. There's something about the islands though, that has a way of becoming a part of you. I feel like I will carry the spirit of HI with me no matter what state I live in(now I sound like a crazy hippie). I know in my heart some day, perhaps when I'm old and wrinkly, I will move back to the HI. Any who now I'm just rambling, it'd be great to "know" a couple we could double with before we even get there. Count me in!
Aloha spirit has that affect on people. I've named both my children with Hawaiian first names.
But alaska has that same affect.

To OP, you've already said it was a temporary move. Make the best of the situation. We moved up here with 10 day notice. Very little research. Was actually in the middle of trying to move to Puerto Rico. Wife hates the cold. I bought her good clothes. Nice jacket. Now we don't see ourselves really ever leaving alaska. Of course we live in a village so I'm not a fan of anchorage. But anchorage is good for city kids.
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Old 03-04-2015, 10:07 PM
 
1,931 posts, read 2,168,614 times
Reputation: 1629
Quote:
Originally Posted by HaydenRiley328i View Post
respect your opinion and i have thought like you too over the course of this process. it should be said that i'm not going "not to be dumped" i'd be going because i see myself with this girl forever and Alaska is temporary... the end goal is not Alaska for her or me. i also don't understand your stance on she was going without me, i mean how was she to know i was a possibility? she started the process before her and i were dating are you suggesting she should've just waited for a relationship before she made her career decisions? that makes little to no sense to me. a person (me) can't always choose where they live however they can always choose WHO they are with. that is all, like i said everyone has a right to an opinion but i tend to disagree with portions of yours they just sound pessimistic.
Actually a person can choose where they live. All the time. Step outside your comfort zone. Have some fun.
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