Your journey to atheism/agnosticisim (believe, born, afterlife, reincarnation)
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How did it come to be for you? Were you taught this from birth? Did a life event change your beliefs? Was it a gradual process? Did you always feel this way?
I was born and raised Catholic. I stopped following the Catholic church years ago for various reasons but I maintained my faith. However, over the last couple of years, I've become more of a facts chick, more logical, all the way around. So, I can't say that there is or isn't a God. I just don't know.
I was taught that self sacrifice made me a better person, suffering made me worthy, and that all I endured was just "meant to be". God gives the greatest challenges to the people with the most character, right? I won't speak for anyone else. I went through a significant life change a while back, and it was that experience that opened my eyes to a lot of things, including my faith. I now believe, without a doubt, that my challenges were, for the most part, a direct result of a lack of character, not being the best I could be, not expecting more of myself and those around me. It was my choices that put me there; not God or the lack thereof. It was a gradual process for me, one I am still working through.
You'll find that there are as many paths to unbelief as to belief. I was effectively raised in fundamentalist Christianity and "accepted Jesus" at the age of 5. I was in church at least 3 times per week, studied my Bible and prayed regularly, even attended a bible institute after high school. Then I married (very) badly and discovered that just because you've married a "good Christian girl" this far from guarantees that all will be well. That set me on a road to great heartache and disillusion. I was in no way even remotely prepared for the real world due in large part to the teachings of the church. And I was kept in that toxic relationship for 15 years thanks to the irrational blanket divorce taboo.
After that relationship finally ended I remarried and that 2nd marriage terminated 13 years later with her death from a long and difficult illness. Sometime about halfway through THAT I realized that all the prayer and reliance on god had never availed a thing for me or mine, and that I could no longer believe. It wasn't even a choice; once you have certain knowledge and certain experiences, there is just no longer a basis and you can't pretend theistic belief into existence anymore, or overlook reality anymore.
Then I went through a typical period over a couple of years of being "spiritual but not religious", casting about for some alternative god-belief, becoming more overtly skeptical and agnostic, and finally, admitting to myself that I was an atheist. In the ensuing decade or so I've gradually pried the remaining religious ideations and thought-habits out of my head with a metaphorical crowbar, and have learned to accept life for what it is rather than what I wish it would be.
You'll find that there are as many paths to unbelief as to belief. I was effectively raised in fundamentalist Christianity and "accepted Jesus" at the age of 5. I was in church at least 3 times per week, studied my Bible and prayed regularly, even attended a bible institute after high school. Then I married (very) badly and discovered that just because you've married a "good Christian girl" this far from guarantees that all will be well. That set me on a road to great heartache and disillusion. I was in no way even remotely prepared for the real world due in large part to the teachings of the church. And I was kept in that toxic relationship for 15 years thanks to the irrational blanket divorce taboo.
After that relationship finally ended I remarried and that 2nd marriage terminated 13 years later with her death from a long and difficult illness. Sometime about halfway through THAT I realized that all the prayer and reliance on god had never availed a thing for me or mine, and that I could no longer believe. It wasn't even a choice; once you have certain knowledge and certain experiences, there is just no longer a basis and you can't pretend theistic belief into existence anymore, or overlook reality anymore.
Then I went through a typical period over a couple of years of being "spiritual but not religious", casting about for some alternative god-belief, becoming more overtly skeptical and agnostic, and finally, admitting to myself that I was an atheist. In the ensuing decade or so I've gradually pried the remaining religious ideations and thought-habits out of my head with a metaphorical crowbar, and have learned to accept life for what it is rather than what I wish it would be.
This is so similar to my experience. And what I highlighted is exactly how I am feeling. Thanks for sharing.
Hi there, it was a gradual process for me and there's not just one thing that changed it all.....it was a number of things. I spent the majority of my life as a staunch fundamentalist Christian up until 3 or so years ago and it all started when I began to seriously question the eternal hell thing. I always had doubts but of course never voiced them until I came to city-data, where I found Universalists. Over in the Christian forum the Universalists (who are Christian btw) were always battling the other fundamental Christians on the board and they continue to do so even now. I really liked their take on things and that sent me into more questioning and research where I finally came to be an agnostic atheist.
I was never exposed to anyone growing up who didn't believe in god, I was sheltered and brainwashed and I just didn't know any better until I started investigating things on my own. Eternal hell NEVER made sense to me, even when I was thumping that bible as hard as I could. I was the good little Christian who was trying to convert everyone and save souls and being quite annoying in the process. Because my upbringing was so rigid and brutal at times some people think that I am just rebelling and being stubborn but that's not it at all, I just don't believe the lies any longer. If it was simply rebellion I would have been doing that a long time ago and not trying to perpetuate the lie of Christianity.
It's been a long and lonely road but I believe I have come to the truth finally. There are days where I wish I had never "investigated" but usually get over it fairly quickly when I realize how ridiculous and far-fetched all of it is. I'm happier because now I don't have that threat of fear looming over me like I did when I was a Christian. It would be so great if others would step out of that box for a minute and think rationally and realize what a crock of crap it really is. Being in the minority is no fun and I can see why people surround themselves with religion but it really sticks in my craw when they proselytize thinking I'm going to change my mind somehow. It's done. It's hard being surrounded by religion and churches here in the south and having all of my relatives and friends be uber religious, it sucks really but I can't move so I have to deal with it somehow.
The best way is for me to come here to C-D and vent. I can't say that there still aren't some unresolved issues like still believing in an afterlife (not the bible version though) or how I might deal with loss and death. There's just got to be more to it than this life.....I feel it in my gut. But no one can convince me there is a god without some sort of proof and I think all atheists feel the same. Some might say "aw you wouldn't believe even if Jesus came to see you" and they are right in some ways.....he would have to prove it to me. I'm not being stubborn or rebellious, just real. It's a hard road to tow OP but your thinking is very much in order.
Hi there, it was a gradual process for me and there's not just one thing that changed it all.....it was a number of things. I spent the majority of my life as a staunch fundamentalist Christian up until 3 or so years ago and it all started when I began to seriously question the eternal hell thing. I always had doubts but of course never voiced them until I came to city-data, where I found Universalists. Over in the Christian forum the Universalists (who are Christian btw) were always battling the other fundamental Christians on the board and they continue to do so even now. I really liked their take on things and that sent me into more questioning and research where I finally came to be an agnostic atheist.
I was never exposed to anyone growing up who didn't believe in god, I was sheltered and brainwashed and I just didn't know any better until I started investigating things on my own. Eternal hell NEVER made sense to me, even when I was thumping that bible as hard as I could. I was the good little Christian who was trying to convert everyone and save souls and being quite annoying in the process. Because my upbringing was so rigid and brutal at times some people think that I am just rebelling and being stubborn but that's not it at all, I just don't believe the lies any longer. If it was simply rebellion I would have been doing that a long time ago and not trying to perpetuate the lie of Christianity.
It's been a long and lonely road but I believe I have come to the truth finally. There are days where I wish I had never "investigated" but usually get over it fairly quickly when I realize how ridiculous and far-fetched all of it is. I'm happier because now I don't have that threat of fear looming over me like I did when I was a Christian. It would be so great if others would step out of that box for a minute and think rationally and realize what a crock of crap it really is. Being in the minority is no fun and I can see why people surround themselves with religion but it really sticks in my craw when they proselytize thinking I'm going to change my mind somehow. It's done. It's hard being surrounded by religion and churches here in the south and having all of my relatives and friends be uber religious, it sucks really but I can't move so I have to deal with it somehow.
The best way is for me to come here to C-D and vent. I can't say that there still aren't some unresolved issues like still believing in an afterlife (not the bible version though) or how I might deal with loss and death. There's just got to be more to it than this life.....I feel it in my gut. But no one can convince me there is a god without some sort of proof and I think all atheists feel the same. Some might say "aw you wouldn't believe even if Jesus came to see you" and they are right in some ways.....he would have to prove it to me. I'm not being stubborn or rebellious, just real. It's a hard road to tow OP but your thinking is very much in order.
Universalists, never heard of them. Will have to look that up. Thanks for sharing.
I believe Jesus existed. I just don't know about all the rest. But I agree this puts people in the minority. I think this is what you encounter when you don't operate emotively, when you prefer facts over feelings and opinion. I don't know that it's a religious thing necessarily, but faith is more about feeling than actually knowing.
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Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
Universalists, never heard of them. Will have to look that up. Thanks for sharing.
I believe Jesus existed. I just don't know about all the rest. But I agree this puts people in the minority. I think this is what you encounter when you don't operate emotively, when you prefer facts over feelings and opinion. I don't know that it's a religious thing necessarily, but faith is more about feeling than actually knowing.
Most agnostics and all atheist take the perspective that when extraordinary claims are made about a deity or similar entity, ya better have extraordinary proof.
Like a Jesus entity. Like a god of any type, whether Thor or Yahweh or Ra. Or an angel like Moroni.
Especially when so many claims in the 'holy books' are demonstratively false.
For myself, I was effectively raised secular and without indoctrination quickly became atheist on my own. My father is a Hindu who is not very religious, and as I've grown older I've realised he is an atheist but I did not know this as a child. My mother comes from a family of lapsed Catholics who stopped going to church during Quebec's Quiet Revolution, which was a locally transformative social movement that had strong anti-clerical aspects and which resulted in a largely post-religious society where church attendance is very low. She kind of believes in God, but we never went to church or participated in anything religious.
Mostly, we just celebrated Hindu and Christian holidays as a cultural practice, and I never had a very antagonistic relationship towards religion as it wasn't very prominent in my life. I remember as a child my parents' had a notion that I maybe should be raised Hindu, and Hinduism is still important to me today, but I also believed in the Christian god as a small child and had a somewhat syncretic belief system. I'd learned lots about Christianity from television and the general cultural milieu, and although my parents had sort of taught me about stuff from both belief systems, they said I could make my own decisions about religion when I was older.
At around age 9 or 10 I had a religious Christian cubs/scouts master who wanted us to pray when we camped and it made me feel quite uncomfortable. If God created the big bang, who created God, I wondered. How come we believe all this extraordinary fairy tale sounding stuff is actually real if there's no evidence of it on earth, ever? At least Santa Clause seemed to prove himself through presents and the tooth fairy through money. God seemed like an especially obvious story, there just didn't seem to be any support for it being a real world fact. Certainly, with my strong interest in science, he didn't seem necessary to explain much of anything about the way to world around me worked. That was the beginning of my actively stating arguments to a couple of friends as to why I thought it might just all be a bunch of baloney, and the beginning of my being an atheist, although I wouldn't learn that word for a few years. As I've become much more certain of that my disbelief in the supernatural, although I do find a certain comfort in Hindu ritual and culture. I just don't believe in literal deities, a reality beyond this one, or reincarnation, which makes me a Hindu in only the strictest cultural sense.
Never really believed, but at least gave it a shot because lots of people claimed to have good reasons for believing. The more I looked the less sense any of it made, except as mythology and politics.
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