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Last week, a co-worker's mother in law died. I didn't know the dead woman, and the co-worker is one of the worst, nastiest, most backstabbing people that I have ever had the displeasure to meet. I am not alone in this opinion amongst my co-workers --not by a long shot.
Anyway, today someone started passing around a card for this vile man, with a christian sentiment expressed on the front and a message inside saying something to the effect "you're in my prayers". I was asked to sign it, and frankly I don't want to do so.
Not only do I disagree with the religious sentiments on the card (I am a Buddhist) I frankly did not know the old woman who died and so I have no sadness over her death. Not only that, but the sheer meanness of the co-worker in question garners no sympathy from me for anything he is feeling.
What would you do? Sign the card and swallow the bitter lie that it is? Or just gracefully refuse when asked, and don't elaborate on any reasons? I am leaning towards the second option.
Even the thought of that makes me cringe considering the heavily christian nature of what is on the card. Ugh. Why couldn't they get a non-religious sympathy card instead?
Even the thought of that makes me cringe considering the heavily christian nature of what is on the card. Ugh. Why couldn't they get a non-religious sympathy card instead?
Maybe I'm just getting old, but it's a card to someone you don't give a damn about. Your initials will probably be ignored if they are there, but might be noticed if they are not.
For the purely selfish reasons of workplace harmony, two scribbles seems a small concession.
It is his Mother in Law, and he might be glad she is gone. He might actually have an improved nature because she is gone. As for the card, It would be more for his wife than him, and she may be a nice person. I would make a nice quote on death from some of Buddha’s works, and sign it with her in mind not him. Your values are than protected, and she might get something form a different philosophy or view.
I would make a nice quote on death from some of Buddha’s works, and sign it with her in mind not him. Your values are than protected, and she might get something form a different philosophy or view.
This.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddha
Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.
Anyway, today someone started passing around a card for this vile man, with a christian sentiment expressed on the front and a message inside saying something to the effect "you're in my prayers".
The way you could sign the card and maintain your integrity is to pray that this man resigns from your company and that you never see him again. That way, he would indeed be in your prayers.
Seriously, for me it would come down to what kind of a relationship I had with this man and how much I valued maintaining harmony. If I really hated him, and he knew it, I'd see no reason to sign the card. If my pattern until that point had been to bite my tongue and force a smile because I preferred to avoid conflict, then I'd sign the card. Actually, I'd probably sign the card regardless, on the premise that there might be some tiny, tiny chance that a display of kindness from his coworkers might make a tiny, tiny positive impression on him and soften his heart, whereas not signing it would have no chance of doing so.
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