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This is probably a question that would only apply to the heathens of the forum like myself but I do wonder what sort of funeral arrangements could be made for an atheist that didn't involve a church or a religious ceremony. I am getting older and I've told my family that I want to be cremated and then buried in the cemetary of the small town of Laurin, Montana where my Father and a number of generations of our family are buried. I realize that funerals are really for the living because the dead are no longer with us but I don't like the idea of having a religious service at my own funeral because I don't believe a word of it. I don't think I've even heard of a funeral that wasn't religious. Does anyone have any knowledge of any alternatives?
By the way, I can just picture a few of the religious people on this forum at my funeral making statements like "well, that MontanaGuy's going to hell in a handbasket!".
I have attended one. It was a gathering at the beach where we tossed the cremated ashes in the water. Everybody (very small crowd) related a thought or two about the deceased.
Afterwards everybody (including more people) gathered, drank a lot, and told many more stories.
I have attended one. It was a gathering at the beach where we tossed the cremated ashes in the water.
How exactly was it organized? Was there some sort of an informal service for lack of a better word? One thing that bothers me about this idea is that the only other atheists in my family are one of my sisters and her husband. I don't actually even know other atheists except for people I've talked with online so it's not like there's going to be a big gathering of like minded people.
I have attended one. It was a gathering at the beach where we tossed the cremated ashes in the water. Everybody (very small crowd) related a thought or two about the deceased.
Afterwards everybody (including more people) gathered, drank a lot, and told many more stories.
Overall it was quite satisfying.
Ok sign me up for that kind when I go...just I want to be buried not tossed...other than that it's all good.
Yes, I have attended non-religious funerals. There was one in particular that was exceptionally beautiful; it was perhaps the most meaningful funeral I have ever attended, (if that makes any sense...) It was incredibly well organized, from the standpoint of there being an actual format. Rather than handing out mass cards, we all had copies of the services format: what readings were read, (poetry or what have you) as well as what music was being played. (Handel, Bach, James Taylor.) In between readings and music, designated individuals had been chosen to get up and make a statement about the deceased, some of which had us all laughing as well as crying...The service began with a "Call to Celebration" and ended with a "Call to Rememberance." (It's not that I have the "athiestic playbook" in front of me here, but as I type this I am referring to placard-type program that we all had received as we entered the service...)
It was one of the more unique and meaningful funerals I have ever attended, as the music and readings not only pertained to the deceased person's life, but were selections that had been the deceased person's favorites in terms of readings and music.
Hope this helps. --Oh, and people have been known to either write down and/or tell someone close to them what they would like by way of their own funeral in advance. However, in the meantime...
I would think that the funeral home that handles your cremation could also host a wake. There would probably be pictures of you and people would just hang out a "remember" you and console your bereaved loved ones. My father was cremated (his was a Catholic man and we did have a funeral Mass) but about a week after, we took his remains out into the ocean and released them. It had some significance for my mother. They both enjoyed the beach and said that was were they want to be scattered.
It was a family decision. The deceased was not devout, and the family consisted of a liberal quaker, a pagan, an atheist, an agnostic. So nobody felt particularly strongly about the religious aspect.
It was decided that the ashes should be scattered without much ceremony. A spot was picked on the shore because the deceased had been a hobby sailer. It just happened organically that everybody felt they should say a brief thing.
A couple of days later, conveniently on the weekend, a larger buffet & beer event was held.
The funeral home will offer u any number of none religious options.
I'm not so sure that would be true in small town Montana. I recently read a post that described Montana as Arkansas with snow. I've lived in big cities all of my adult life but Montana is my home and I want to be buried there. Anyway, I'm just curious about my options because it probably would be a good idea to have some planning in place since I already have my burial plot picked out.
Why do you care? Not to be overly harsh, but after you die, it really will not matter. I myself have let it be know that my survivors can do anything they want after I die, including a religious mass officiated by the Pope. Or leave me by the curb in a hefty bag.
So I am curious as to why this is a concern of yours.
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