Looking for a school for gender non-conforming 5th grader (Atlanta: fit in, renting)

[portlandshaws]

Hi all,
It looks like our possibility of moving to the area has turned definite. We will be moving down there from Durham NC after this school year. I would love to pick your brain, if you would allow me.
We are a bi-racial (white/black) couple with 2 girls. One will be in Kindergarten next year and the other will be in 5th grade. Our oldest is gender non-conforming. For all intents and purposes she looks and acts like a little boy and in her mind, she would love to fly under the radar and never have to deal with pronouns and other gender issues. She was in public school here last year but this year we have found an amazing private school that is incredibly accepting of her differences (Carolina Friends School).
We came down for a visit this last weekend and I toured the Friends School of Atlanta. I didn't walk away with the "warm fuzzies" that I did when we first started looking at the Friends school here. It seemed "fine" but not amazing (we're also spoiled here because CFS is on many acres and the campus is huge and beautiful).
We are thinking that it makes sense to keep our eldest in private school whereas our younger child is extremely malleable and would thrive just about anywhere. Ideally we would find a great school for the 9 yr old and the 5 yr old would go to public K. I suppose a public school MIGHT be an option for the older child but we need to make sure that the environment is incredibly open-minded. We are also concerned about sending her to public school because she would have one year at the new school and then change schools again. Ideally we would find a private school that goes through 12.
We will apply for financial aid as we don't have huge incomes to support private school.
Paideia is the school that I've heard about several times and we will definitely be checking it out. What are some other schools that might have the same open-minded environment about kids that don't necessarily fit in a box?
We will be looking at renting a place for the first year or so and it will need to be pretty central as my husband will be traveling between several locations for his job. I am from Portland OR so I love the idea of walkable neighborhoods with coffee shops, etc.
Please let me know if you have any thoughts on a private school that is centrally located and an area that might also have a great public school for our youngest.
Thank you in advance!

[CMMom]

I don't have a lot of time to go into detail, but start with Galloway and Paideia. Maybe consider the Waldorf School. Maybe The Children's School in Midtown.

[portlandshaws]

Thanks!
I should also probably mention that she's a kid that can lose focus pretty easily so I feel like the school shouldn't be without structure. It doesn't need to be HYPER-structured but the Montessori model of "do whatever you feel like" won't work well with her.
Her school now is very project-based and she is doing very well with it.

[lastminutemom]

Financial aid is likely to be an issue as discussed earlier this year.

Entering in 5th grade is also hard at the most competitive schools. Paideia has gotten much more difficult to get into in the last few years. Same with Galloway. Some privates do grade expansion in 5th grade, most don't though.

Schools like Friends and Waldorf are more likely to have openings. Children's School only goes through 6th grade, so it is a stop gap measure at best, you will have to apply out for middle and high. The problem with all three of these schools is they don't have deep pockets so I am not sure how much aid they give.

Atlanta has mostly private schools that are religiously based or have a fairly conservative base. I am working with a friend right now looking at private schools and while they aren't in your exact situation, they have an outside the box child who cries out for a progressive setting, but with strong academics. The list is short.

I tell you all this, not to be the "heavy" but to suggest that you look at public schools simultaneously to your private school search.

I suspect that a public school like Mary Lin might we progressive enough to work for your family. The families I know that send their children there are very progressive. I am guessing there are other public schools as well.

As to Friends, I have family whose children went to the school your child attends now. Frankly, they would not have attended Friends here, as the population here is a bit quirkier than what I think of your current school. But I also think the average family at your current school is higher income than here, thus the nicer campus and more financial aid.

[CMMom]

Those schools are definitely on the more experiential side (especially Waldorf). Galloway is a little more "loosey-goosey" than the typical traditional classroom, but I don't think it's a total free-for-all, at least in the elementary years.

[bu2]

Originally Posted by portlandshaws

Thanks!
I should also probably mention that she's a kid that can lose focus pretty easily so I feel like the school shouldn't be without structure. It doesn't need to be HYPER-structured but the Montessori model of "do whatever you feel like" won't work well with her.
Her school now is very project-based and she is doing very well with it.

Waldorf and Paideia have non-traditional, distinct styles. Read up on those. Their approaches might be too unstructured for you.

[portlandshaws]

I have now heard the word "quirky" used four separate times to describe AFS ! And once was the woman that was giving me the tour!
I wouldn't describe my daughter as quirky, which is probably why I didn't feel like it was a great fit. I've never heard an adjective used so many times to describe a school or its students! Funny. She is a very popular kid with "normal" social skills and lots of friends. We just want to find an environment where people "get" her and let her do her thing.

[lastminutemom]

Originally Posted by CMMom

Those schools are definitely on the more experiential side (especially Waldorf). Galloway is a little more "loosey-goosey" than the typical traditional classroom, but I don't think it's a total free-for-all, at least in the elementary years.

Originally Posted by bu2

Waldorf and Paideia have non-traditional, distinct styles. Read up on those. Their approaches might be too unstructured for you.

My sense of Galloway is that self starters, in middle and high school at least, struggle there. I know multiple families who have pulled their kids, through the years, from Galloway because their kids needed more structure.

This doesn't mean that any of these schools are bad -- just that they may not meet every child's needs.

[portlandshaws]

Regarding Mary Lin (I've heard amazing things about this school), what middle school does it feed into? Have a great 5th grade yr at Mary Lin is all fine and good but I feel like we need to be concerned about upcoming years too, especially when you throw in the whole puberty component.

[bu2]

Originally Posted by lastminutemom

My sense of Galloway is that self starters, in middle and high school at least, struggle there. I know multiple families who have pulled their kids, through the years, from Galloway because their kids needed more structure.

This doesn't mean that any of these schools are bad -- just that they may not meet every child's needs.

I know people with kids at Waldorf and many with kids at Paideia. They all love it. But its got to be the right fit.