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Old 10-03-2011, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Round Rock, Tx
1,073 posts, read 2,095,314 times
Reputation: 857

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Did a search, but I couldn't find much.

We have a friend who is contemplating divorce. He is thinking about possibly attempting to get full custody or joint custody of their toddler daughter. I have several female friends who went through a divorce, and they have custody of the children, so I haven't witnessed any divorce situations where the father received custody.

Is there anyone here who has been through a divorce where custody was awarded to the father? The wife is a very good mother. I think this is a case where both are good parents and both want custody.

Thanks!
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:06 AM
 
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I have no experience or even secondhand knowledge but I have always heard that Texas highly favors the mother in custody fights unless there's some significant reason not to.
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
15,269 posts, read 35,642,308 times
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Kind of similar to you, I only know people and have not been through this, but....

Joint custody is quite possible, but getting full custody (when both parents are seeking custody) is extremely unlikely unless there is some extenuating circumstance - drug or alcohol problems, unfit boyfriends in the picture, etc. I have seen a lot more of the 50/50 time split, but have heard that there can be issues for the kids (esp. younger ones) when they do not have a single, clearly defined 'home'. I suspect that this is not the question, though, and there are other forums for that .

Again, Texas puts a lot of weight on stable family environment, and if both parents are essentially equal in that regard, I cannot see EITHER parent getting sole custody and the mother (by default) almost always get primary custody.
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Round Rock, Tx
1,073 posts, read 2,095,314 times
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Thank you guys for the information.

He's actually very torn and is trying to avoid hiring a lawyer, but it might be the best solution. All of his divorced friends didn't fight for primary custody and allowed the children to live with their mothers. It appears this is the norm, but he was hoping to hear about situations where the father was given primary custody...or his second preference would be joint. I personally think shuffling their daughter back and forth between homes would be very unsettling, but I'm not sure.

Thanks again for the input.
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Pflugerville
2,211 posts, read 4,850,901 times
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If he is looking to actually get divorced, then he MUST hire a lawyer. He should not be avoiding hiring one. The way that you have an amicable divorce is buy hiring a GOOD lawyer and letting them know you want it to be amicable. A lot of people feel like they can just split up and lawyers only make things complicated, but that is most definately not the case.....
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
15,269 posts, read 35,642,308 times
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Yeah, kind of have to agree, my SIL had an 'amicable' divorce and they actually used the same lawyer...he (she?) was more of a mediator, so to speak. Ofc, they did not have kids, which makes it light years easier.
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Old 10-03-2011, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Round Rock, Tx
1,073 posts, read 2,095,314 times
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Thanks...

That's exactly what he feared. He didn't want things to get ugly by hiring a lawyer.

I'm sure we'll be hearing from him later. I'm going to suggest he hire a lawyer. I just feel so bad for him. All he wants is his daughter.
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Old 10-03-2011, 09:28 AM
 
3,078 posts, read 3,265,478 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.JT View Post
Thanks...

That's exactly what he feared. He didn't want things to get ugly by hiring a lawyer.

I'm sure we'll be hearing from him later. I'm going to suggest he hire a lawyer. I just feel so bad for him. All he wants is his daughter.
This is one of the categories of things being "too important _not_ to get a lawyer". He doesn't want to run the risk of things going pear shaped and him getting far less than what he wants. He may think his wife will be reasonable but things change.

My little bro went through a custody battle and got sole custody but it was a battle and mom was a complete and total flake (demonstrably). The odds of getting sole custody if mom is even remotely sane and mature is slim and none (assuming she doesn't want to give up custody).

Best of luck to him, stuff like this is never easy. Why does he want sole custody, does he have reason to believe that sharing custody with mom is going to be problematic for his daughter (or for him, e.g. he may want to move out of state in the future?)
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Old 10-03-2011, 10:38 AM
 
658 posts, read 2,006,989 times
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Texas has joint legal custody as the standard now. Used to be the Mom got the kids and all the decision making but things thankfully have changed over the years. 50/50 physical custody is possible and can work quite well IF the parents can keep negative comments out of the equation. Child support is not necessarily stopped when custody is 50/50 but agreements of the parents are considered.

My daughter and her EX used online divorce forms and a mediator for their divorce and saved a ton of money because they could agree on the terms. Do a search.....SPARC Divorce.....this is a great site for information and articles and forums.
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Old 10-03-2011, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Round Rock, Tx
1,073 posts, read 2,095,314 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by austinnerd View Post
This is one of the categories of things being "too important _not_ to get a lawyer". He doesn't want to run the risk of things going pear shaped and him getting far less than what he wants. He may think his wife will be reasonable but things change.

My little bro went through a custody battle and got sole custody but it was a battle and mom was a complete and total flake (demonstrably). The odds of getting sole custody if mom is even remotely sane and mature is slim and none (assuming she doesn't want to give up custody).

Best of luck to him, stuff like this is never easy. Why does he want sole custody, does he have reason to believe that sharing custody with mom is going to be problematic for his daughter (or for him, e.g. he may want to move out of state in the future?)

True. It's probably his best bet to at least consult with a lawyer.

Not sure if he actually wants sole custody, but I think he'd take it if he can get it. He has a son from a previous marriage, and he has sole custody of him. The boy's mother had no interest in being a mother, so it made it easy for him to get sole custody. Maybe he's just trying to stay consistent? I don't know. But his current wife is a good mother and he has no problems with how she is raising their daughter. He might be leaning more towards joing custody. Not sure. We plan to speak with him further about it.
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