Why are people in Bend so unfriendly? (transplants, home)

[Drews123]

Guys/ Gals-

I decided to post on the forum since I am really struggling with something. I have lived in Bend, OR for 4 years now (westside) and I can't get over how unfriendly people are. My wife and I will be on the trails and smile or say 'hi' to people and so many times they don't reciprocate. Maybe they smell the California on me, but being born and breed in So Cal and then moving up here, it's a bit of an adjustment. It feels like So Cal is more laid back and people are much friendlier. I know what you're thinking, "Dude, maybe you're just weird and people don't want to talk to you". Fair enough, but remember, back home I didn't have this problem.

So what gives? Can anyone articulate this phenomenon for me?

Is it a 'Westside' thing?

Is it an agro Outdoor persona?

Do people just think their better than everyone?

Is it because Bend is super transient in that people come and go so frequently, it's not worth their effort?

All of the above?

[GeorgiaTransplant]

Originally Posted by Drews123

Guys/ Gals-

I decided to post on the forum since I am really struggling with something. I have lived in Bend, OR for 4 years now (westside) and I can't get over how unfriendly people are. My wife and I will be on the trails and smile or say 'hi' to people and so many times they don't reciprocate. Maybe they smell the California on me, but being born and breed in So Cal and then moving up here, it's a bit of an adjustment. It feels like So Cal is more laid back and people are much friendlier. I know what you're thinking, "Dude, maybe you're just weird and people don't want to talk to you". Fair enough, but remember, back home I didn't have this problem.

So what gives? Can anyone articulate this phenomenon for me?

Is it a 'Westside' thing?

Is it an agro Outdoor persona?

Do people just think their better than everyone?

Is it because Bend is super transient in that people come and go so frequently, it's not worth their effort?

All of the above?

Born, raised in NW. Still have large chunks of family there and visit reasonably often.

It's a Northwest thing. People don't dislike you, they just...don't like you. It has nothing to do with California, but is simply a normal mannerism there. They do it to native northwesterners, too. Friendships take a lot more work to get started and maintain than you may think is normal.

Google 'Seattle freeze' for a similar mannerism. To this day I have this trait despite relocating to the South years ago.

[oregonwoodsmoke]

I don't know what to tell you, because that has never happened to me. Everyone on the trails at least nods, many say hello, and often enough we will stop and chat for a few seconds.

Be aware that most of the people you are seeing are not Oregonians. They have come here from someplace else, almost always California. The native Oregonians who have lived here all of their lives are not hiking on the same trails you are using. We are all going somewhere else where we can be out in the wilderness away from the crowds.

[Drews123]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaTransplant

Born, raised in NW. Still have large chunks of family there and visit reasonably often.

It's a Northwest thing. People don't dislike you, they just...don't like you. It has nothing to do with California, but is simply a normal mannerism there. They do it to native northwesterners, too. Friendships take a lot more work to get started and maintain than you may think is normal.

Google 'Seattle freeze' for a similar mannerism. To this day I have this trait despite relocating to the South years ago.

Wow, thank you for that! I had never heard of this before but it does make sense. It feels like people just prefer to keep to themselves. At least now, I know to not take it so personally!

[Drews123]

Originally Posted by In.God.I.Trust

About five years ago I had a trucking route that took me up through bend by way of i-5 to weed and 97 through Klamath falls. If I remember correctly, alot of people from bend were transplants from California. Oregon is just unappealingly in general. Alot of people in the southern part of the state are just *******s and up north you've got weirdos who think all californians want to destroy their state. I lived in clackmas county during the time I had this route. In the short time I lived there I don't think I've ever been sick with as many respiratory viruses. I packed it up and moved back to Wyoming in less than 18 months. I've been in California for almost 10 years now and I like it more than Oregon or Wyoming. It's expensive but the weather is so much nicer, and like you said the people here are way more chill. Not a whole lot of conservates, but I'm secure enough in my own beliefs that I get along with most of the libs a-okay. For me there's no debate, C-A all the way...

I hear you for sure. I miss CA for a lot of reason, but mainly for the ocean and waves (I'm a surfer). Being in Bend is great in many ways, and that is why we have stayed (much better schools, less traffic, etc). Sadly, many people here talk about being priced out of their own hometown (Bend), but that is one of the contributing factors how we ended up here (priced out of So Cal), so I guess its a domino effect.

[Drews123]

Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke

I don't know what to tell you, because that has never happened to me. Everyone on the trails at least nods, many say hello, and often enough we will stop and chat for a few seconds.

Be aware that most of the people you are seeing are not Oregonians. They have come here from someplace else, almost always California. The native Oregonians who have lived here all of their lives are not hiking on the same trails you are using. We are all going somewhere else where we can be out in the wilderness away from the crowds.

That may be. I'm happy to hear you have had a different experience overall. I would think a small town like Bend would be the opposite and people would be very outgoing, but it hasn't been my experience. Yes, there are many exceptions to this, but it happens a lot. My wife and I will just look at each other with that 'it happened again' look. I've thought it may be a difference between Nor Cal and So Cal too. Thanks for your message.

[delta07]

I've been in Bend 8 years now and I actually find it pretty friendly, overall. I have the best group of friends here since college. I have noticed that in the last year or two, I do encounter more and more people that are not as friendly as many of the locals. I'm not sure if they are recent transplants, vacationing, or what, but I definitely don't get as many friendly waves or hellos on the trails as I used to.

[BLAZER PROPHET]

My best friend lives in Bend and I visit twice a year for a week or so. Neither he, nor I, have seen friendlier and happier people in our lives. Bend is a near perfect place to be and it shows on people's faces.


My $0.02.

[redguard57]

I think there can be problems in micro-locations.

I don't notice people here being much friendlier or unfriendlier than other places I"ve lived. But if you have stand-offish neighbors it can feel like everyone's like that. Vice versa if you have warm & welcoming neighbors.

A lot of transitory people can also contribute to it.

[BendLocal]

Originally Posted by delta07

i have noticed that in the last year or two, i do encounter more and more people that are not as friendly as many of the locals. I'm not sure if they are recent transplants, vacationing, or what, but i definitely don't get as many friendly waves or hellos on the trails as i used to.

+100