Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

In order to make enough money to support a family, you need to either go to school, or you both need to stay at your jobs long enough to get promoted and get raises. With your track record so far, that's unlikely. The job I had when we got engaged is the same one I kept for the next 9 years. Hubby kept his for about 5, while getting a master's degree, which allowed him to get a better job. Job hoping like you have been for the last several years is not going to get you anywhere.

Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain

I am happy that you are happy.

To answer your question, we got engaged at 24, and were both entirely supporting ourselves since 18 for him and 21 for me. We waited until I was done with grad school to get married at 27, moved cross country twice for my job, had our first child at 32, moved cross country for his job, and had our second at 35.

I second what Kibs said about it being more about "the right time" than "the right age" and that money and kids are stressful on "new" marriages. DH and I both know what it is to be very poor, deal with one partner who is unemployed, near-death family health issues, work 80+ hour weeks and rarely see each other in order to make ends meet and save for the things we wanted to have. I already knew how we both responded to big stressors and crises before we got married, because we had been through so many. It can make a relationship stronger or it can break a relationship. It's hard to say which until you've weathered a few storms together.

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

I was 25, almost 26 when we got married, and 30 when my first was born. Age doesn't have a ton to do with it though. It was the right time. We'd both finished college. we both had jobs with benefits. We'd both bought our own cars, and had been living in our own apartments, paying our own way.

I know a couple who got married at 20-ish and had their first child (unplanned) a year or so later. Neither had finished college. They couldn't afford a sitter. They really struggled. One worked while the other went to school, then they switched. Luckily for them they had family to help watch the baby. They weren't able to buy their first house until much later. They made it work, and are still together, but sadly, they are the exception, not the rule.

Money and kids can put a huge strain on a relationship. Huge. Many marriages don't survive the early stages.

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

That is YOUR car, not his. YOU need to pay your grandma, not TG.

Originally Posted by FinsterRufus

What does TG have to do with it?

It's your debt, your Grandmother. You should be putting some money aside so you can move out into your own place if necessary. Not shared money, your money.

You'd be completely crazy not to have an exit strategy.

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

why would he have "moving expenses" but you wouldn't?

Originally Posted by maciesmom

I have no doubt you have a plan. You always do. It's the follow-through you have trouble with. If I were betting, I'd say a year from now you won't be any closer to implementing this "plan" than you are today. That's what you need to work on. You're all kinds of good at "planning". Try implementing. You'll accomplish more.

My guess is, you'll keep coasting along as long as the "easy button" is available to you.