I had long wanted to live on the east coast, and specifically in the Commonwealth of Virginia, until Virginia flipped into a blue state. I am crushed that Virginia is no longer an option. But I get over it. Plenty of fish in the sea, so to speak.

So now I'm lost. Where to move?

It comes down to a simple process of elimination. I know I don't want to live in Alaska. Presto, I am down to 49 states.

I want to live in an eastern state, which means...