Book Club Discussion on "Thousand Splendid Suns" - Khaled Hosseini (cover, letter)

[gemkeeper]

RDSLOTS, I experienced A Thousand Splendid Suns in much the same way that you did.

The characters were intriguing to me. Laila, who seemed to grow up the innocent, the peacemaker, the pleaser, still demonstrated a fervent strength. Her strong character showed in how nothing Miriam could feel about Laila initially or what treatment she handed out to Laila would generate hatred for this very pitiable woman. Laila understood the pain of her elder sister-wife and respected it.

The only point that I have a different opinion on is that I don't think that Miriam had a sad ending. I think that Hosseini painted her as a woman dying with great dignity and noble sacrifice. At that moment, Miriam was no longer a shameful hamshira; she was a princess championing her Afghani sisters' future. I felt such pride for her.

This story has so many layers. I think that all of us have probably related to these layer in so many ways. It is a story that bears screaming to the world and Hosseini has done a touching, endearing telling of this story.

Wonderful insight - from the characters' development, story entertwining with story, the consequences of small actions, all create a story that may shape our lives for years to come, as well.

Blue62 and RDSLOTS, I enjoyed both of your observations very much.

[RDSLOTS]

I found it sad that Mariam never lived to see all that she had done, especially when it comes to the money Jalil had left, that Laila and Tariq use to help rebuild the orphanage in Kabul. I agree Hosseini lets her die a noble death, gem, but am sad she doesn't see what even became of her father's attempt to make amends. It makes the ending all the more poignant, don't you think? The reference to the thousand splendid suns.

Looking at the characters, I find the development of Rasheed an interesting one. I felt such sympathy for him, initially, having lost his first wife and young son, and thought the book was going in a totally different direction when Jalil marries Mariam off to him. I kept thinking, 'well, he is going to become the love of her life.' Then, when you see how Rasheed later treats Laila -- even when she produces a son for him -- I couldn't help but wonder what the first wife's life must've been like. The same? And was Rasheed raising that first son to be like him, like it appeared he was trying to do with Zalmai?

By the time Mariam picks up that shovel, I found myself thinking, "she has GOT to kill this $*n of a %!^ch" -- either that, or I was going to have to jump in the pages, myself, somehow, and do it.


What other layers did you enjoy? I liked the contrast of the lives of the characters with Afghanistan, itself.

[Miss Blue]

I have a little different take on the character of Rasheed than Rds does..From the time that Jaliels wives broughtr Miriam into the room to explain the arrangement and by the way he hung his head and would not look at Miriam or take up for her, I knew that Jaliel was somewhat ashamed of his past that produced a child and that his wives for whatever reason were "in charge" and wanted Miriam out of the picture..I think Jaliel does love his daughter and maybe even her mother, but because of his place in society, he cannot claim them..I think Jaliel knew that Rasheed was what he was..I think Hosseini made Jaliel's character somewhat henpecked, and humble, but loving at the same time to give us the knowledge that all Afghan men are not Rasheeds or Taliban in nature.

[BlueWillowPlate]

Originally Posted by RDSLOTS

Sadly enough, true. I agree completely this is not just these two women's stories, blue, but a composite of many women's.
I also can't help but wonder about women in our own country who have difficult lives, and like Mariam, especially, are subjected to such spousal abuse.

Yes.
I have to tell y'all, at first, the only feeling I had for this novel was depression and exasperation. During the first few chapters, I could not get past either the misery and the simplistic writing style. I am not a highbrow literary type, and I can handle grim subject matter, but it just seemed like one punch to the stomach after another, written in prose which unfortunately reminded me a great deal of The Red Tent.
[Of course, I realize that Hosseini's first language is not English!]
Around the middle of the book, more of the characters' complexities presented themselves, and the descriptions of daily life in Afghanistan, (sometimes quite grim, but not always) enriched the story quite a bit.
I appreciated the sorry plight of oppressed women in Afghanistan (and everywhere else), and was moved by Mariam's sacrifice.

[gemkeeper]

I, too, felt some sympathy for Rasheed as his character was first revealed. I particularly felt that there was some hope for Miriam's relative happiness in her marriage at the end of chapter 12.

At this point, Miriam has not been treated as we would expect to be treated as new brides - this left me with a very gloomy feeling as Cil brought out.

Perhaps, I got too caught up in the story, Cil, to notice any simplictic writing skills. I really enjoyed the flow of the prose. And, you are right, it was one punch to the gut after another, but I think that it demonstrates what life hands out in Afghanistan, Iraq, Bosnia, Malawi and other countries that exist under tyrannical conditions with constant fear of death.

However, after she sees what Rasheed must have suffered with the loss of his wife and son and she seems to excuse his harsh treatment of her, Miriam comes to the conclusion that she thinks that they can be good companions. I couldn't help but feel respect for her in so many ways at this point.

How many would endure the childhood of rejection and sadness that she had, the horrorific guilt of her mother's suicide, the apparent loss of protection of her father, and still be gentle-spirited enough to find some affection for Rasheed? I was very touched by her character and thought that Hosseini made it very believeable.

She now has hope. This from a young woman who, if her father was not an important man and felt love for her, may have had no hope for any marriage. Now, there was a glimmer of a satisfactory life ahead of her.

I do agree, Rdsalot, that it was heartbreaking that she didn't realize how much her father regretted his absence from her life and for abandoning her to an ignoble life. I don't think that the money Jaliel left would have meant much to her if she had received it as intended, but the thought of him giving it to her, anything to her, would have been joyous for Miriam.

Blue, I felt the same about Jaliel's personality and the role and control over the household life by his wives, but I think you gave it good perspective by calling him "henpecked". I think in all societies no matter how degraded a position a wife or a servant or what-have-you generally has, there exists kind-hearted or weak-willed masters, which Jaleil was, who kowtow to his underlings.

Jaliel, Laila's father, and Tariq all surprised me with their softness toward those that they loved. The school master demonstrated the same loving kindness. When I thought about it, I realized that through the events of the past 10 years I have formed a stereotypical portrait of Moslem men. Unfairly, now, I admit.

People are people the world over no matter what their religion, ethnic background, place of birth. All are made in God's image (according to my personal beliefs), so of course, all are capable of mirroring His greatest quality - love.

The extremist faction who are of the ilk of Rasheed are not obeying the Koran in the sense that it was written. This fact escaped my reasoning for these several years. The characters of Tariq, Jaliel, Babi, and others shows, I think, a glimpse of the author's personality and that of many, many of his countrymen.

I do know that this story will impact my life from now on. I feel compelled to action just as Rdsalot had shared by "jumping into the pages". I will educate myself on world affairs and what lies under the surface from now on - not just read about it in the newspapers.

[Miss Blue]

I think Miriam built a protective wall of protection around herself to protect her from her mothers outbursts about her father, then about the rejection she felt when she couldn't gain entrance to her fathers home..With every cruel situation her wall grew higher, but it also became bitter and at times cruel..I think that her early contempt of Laile could possibly have been just a spark of protection for a very young girl who would end up like her too..Miriam had seen Laile grow up, she had seen her with her family, with Tariq and the other children..

[RDSLOTS]

As Rasheed's character further developed, and I grew to despise him, he was almost too bad to be believable, I thought -- perhaps a stereotype? But then, something resonated with me. The Taliban in the truck, and the shooting of Mariam in the stadium are exact scenes from something I watched awhile back on TV. That led me to realize that no, "Rasheeds" probably did exist to the extent that the character had struck me as almost a stereotype.

Two of my favorite characters had to be Laila's father, who constantly praised her for her intelligence, and her 'soul,' instilling the belief that she could do, and be, anything, and then the fun-loving little boy who grows into the man she falls in love with, Tariq. How interesting he is 'crippled' on the outside, pure on the in. Contrast his gentleness and kindness with Rasheed, who I imagine in his youth as strong and handsome -- quite striking (literally, as well).

Good point, blue, too about the universal aspect of these men. I know we find each of these types in our own culture -- the sensitive, the brute, the intellectual, the henpecked, the soul mate.

These sorts of things make Hosseini such an incredible writer, I think. What appears on the surface is so incredibly complex when you start looking. The beauty, too, is that if you want to read the book strictly for the story as cil suggests, it is still a moving story, albeit depressing at times.

Part of me can't help but wonder if Hosseini won't turn out to be a magnificent 'voice' for the Muslim world, because as gem points out, he gives us an entirely different view of the people living in it. Reading what he says elsewhere, I think he hopes to be that ambassador of sorts. On even a simple level, I enjoy how he works in the meanings of the words he uses and the symbolism in the characters' names.

[gemkeeper]

Originally Posted by blue62

I think Miriam built a protective wall of protection around herself to protect her from her mothers outbursts about her father, then about the rejection she felt when she couldn't gain entrance to her fathers home..With every cruel situation her wall grew higher, but it also became bitter and at times cruel..I think that her early contempt of Laile could possibly have been just a spark of protection for a very young girl who would end up like her too..Miriam had seen Laile grow up, she had seen her with her family, with Tariq and the other children..

These thoughts are so interesting, blue. I was enthralled with all that Miriam endured, she still had a soft heart.

I think that she felt very threatened with Laila's appearance as a second wife. Although, her life up to that point was filled with disappointment, cruelty, and the sad loss of her pregnancy, I felt that she had, at least, the satisfaction of knowing that she belonged someplace - to somebody.

Her name in Hebrew means "wishing for child" which can be looked at in two ways. Miriam was wishing for a child, a male child, both to love and provide security for her, and also to cement her marriage bond with Rasheed. Also, "wishing for child" could suggest that she, herself, was never able to be a child, someone treasured, nurtured and loved. She wished to be a child. She had glimpses of what that life would be when her father would pay his sweet visits to her, but it was all so fleeting and bitter-sweet.

And, like Miriam, Moses sister, she softened and took on the role of a surrogate mother to both Laila and Laila's children. It became a nurturing loving relationship between them. It was truly a self-sacrificing love, just as the Biblical Miriam demonstrated for her brother, Moses.

I loved the unfolding of these women and their relationship. The constant patience and sympathy that the ill-treated Laila showed toward Miriam and the gradual softening and acceptance of love that Miriam had. I think that these two so very different women developed this unusual bond of acceptance, trust and love because they were both intrinsically good, loving women.

Another interesting aspect of these two women is that although they had very different upbringings and backgrounds, they both had fathers who loved them and tried to encourage them to be their best. They also both had mothers that on different levels withheld some of the love and acceptance they the two young girls wanted so desparately from their mothers. Two mentally disturbed women, albeit for different reason, two girls lonely for a mother's love. Exactly what they shared with each other in Rasheed's household. Lovely layer.

I loved them both, cried for them both and cheered for them both.

I enjoy reading all of your insights into these characters. They are broadening my own thoughts about them. I am sorry that it has been so long and 3 books ago that I finished A Thousand Splendid Suns. I must read it again with new eyes. Thank you all.

[lolagranola]

I've only read the first few comments, and decided I want to say what my impressions were before being influenced by any of you.

Wow, what a beautiful story. I had no interest in reading Kite Runner because there was so much talk about it. Now I'm going to have to read it soon!

I love the way it was written. You could picture the setting, picture the characters, feel and hope for them.

My preconceived notion of a woman's life in Afghanistan was grim, lonely, limited. It was easy to forget that even if their lives were limited (as Mariam's was early in life and before Laila came) that they could be full, and have hopes, expectations, and joy. I also got to see an Afghanistan that was cultured and...I don't know the word, not "modern"...with houses with electricity, jobs and school...as opposed to that third world picture I have.

Of course you could forsee that Mariam was not going to have a pretty life. But when she first was married there was hope! He was almost nice, almost complimentary...would their marriage have been different if they had had children? He wasn't an abuser because of that of course, but would she have had more status in his eyes? I think I *know* he wouldn't have been...how he teamed up with his small son to be so disdainful of the women proves that, but there was still that hope.

I don't think I could see Mariam's life turning out any different than it had, both the marriage, and her ending. She had so little to work with. But, like she said at the end, what more could she have hoped for? Her relationship with Laila and the children were more than she dared hope for. And ironically her life would have been void there if not for the betrayal of Rasheed.

Laila seemed the fairy-tale character. Her ending was in line with her beginning. I have less to say about her, I guess because in the end it worked out well.

I'm anxious to hear what you all thought about Jalil's wives, about Nana (did she doom Mariam with her bitterness, or prepare her?), and were you surprised that it was Laila and not her mother who grew a relationship with Mariam?

[RDSLOTS]

Interesting, Lola. Here, I had been looking at Rasheed as a stereotype, and hadn't even thought about Laila, the 'night beauty' with the brains who did fulfill what her father envisioned for her.

I cannot help but recall Mariam's mother's words, something to the effect of "women like us endure." Odd contrast against Jalil's wives, who I can't help but wonder -- what if Jalil had not been so henpecked, and had stood up to them more?

Romantic at heart, I had wanted Mariam's life to be the one with the fairytale ending -- married to a striking, albeit much older man, who would share a life with her and their many children, and would be kind and gentle with her. Sheesh, but he steals, and sells, her wedding ring to provide a better one, even, for Laila. I had hoped Laila's mother would befriend Mariam, but looking back, I think what I first took for maybe being a friend to Mariam, was perhaps looking at her with curiosity and sympathy. Hadn't Laila's family lived there and known the story of Rasheed's first wife and young son? Surely there were understandings then of Rasheed's nature and cruelty. Sometimes, I even want to give Rasheed the benefit of the doubt -- he became cruel out of frustration, seeing what was happening in Kabul, but then I think 'no,' he probably came from a generation of men just like him, and just naturally gravitated towards that extremism.

I think one of the things I so appreciate about the art of the storytelling, is all of the contrasts -- even the turmoil in the household mirroring the turmoil in the country, right down to the beauty found in simple things, and that enduring love the misplaced Afghans had for the war-torn and destroyed Kabul.