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Maybe Rasheed's father was much like he was. Yet Rasheed never rose above his childhood, and the culture reinforced his behavior in many ways. Mariam's father and Laila's father were both portrayed as good men at heart, but weak in dealings with their wives.
You are probably right about Rasheed being a lot like his father. I believe that Zalmai's difficult (I'm being kind.) personality was a result of his father's influence. It makes perfect sense that Rasheed was the mirror image of his father, also.
Yes, and what a contrast to Miriam's and Laila's fathers. They were kind, thoughtful and loving to their daughters and their wives. But, as blue62 had said in her post, Mariam's father seemed to be "henpecked" by his wives. I thought at the time, and still do, what an apropos term to describe Jalil in particular.
With Babi, Laila's father, I think it was more of a situation of just not being in control of the situation. I think that he felt helpless in his efforts to help his wife regain some happiness. He just simply didn't know what to do to make things better for her. Babi was sad, also, over his sons' deaths, but knew that life had to go on, that the young men died for a good cause, and there was still sweet Laila. Mammy couldn't get past her sons' deaths - not for her daughter, not for her husband.
Don't you think Zalmai realized, almost as soon as the eruption at the dinner table began (the night Mariam killed Rasheed), that he had done something terrbily wrong? I felt as if Zalmai knew something 'bad' was going to come of his having mentioned Tariq's visit, but as a child, he didn't understand exactly 'what' he had set into motion. He seemed, to me, to be sorry as he was being hurried out of the room, something about the look on his face, his little body language.
I like to think Zalmai was a changed little person, too, with Tariq to emulate. I believe we either grow up to be much like our parents, or we question their values and beliefs, etc., and become quite different. 'Pollyanna' that I am, I like to think he became more like Tariq, too, having been raised by such a wonderful man.
Interesting to contrast the theme of fatherhood against the theme of motherhood.
The conversation at Rasheed's dinner table that Zalmai playfully started was "a tattletale game" as Hosseini called it. Zalmai was telling on his mother trying to make what he thought was a mountain out of a molehill.
"Zalmai looked at Laila apologetically, on the verge of tears." (p.304) He then stammered when instructed to tell his father where everyone else in the house was while Tariq visited with Laila. He knew that this day had a terrible consequence in store for his mother, whom I think he dearly loved.
Zalmai loved Laila, but he "worshipped" his father, his indulging teacher. I believe he started his game to please his father, not to injure his mother. Laila knew this, also, as she told Zalmai that it was okay - to tell his father the truth. It seems that she was protecting her child by not forcing him to lie and also be an object of Rasheed's fury.
The final disclosure was when Zalmai was being sent upstairs by his father and Zalmai saw the alarm on Mariam's face. Hosseini made me feel the nervousness on Zalmai's face when he wrote: "He (Zalmai) sensed now that his tattletale game had let something serious - adult serious - into the room."
Killing Rasheed was wrong, in a moral sense, but it seemed inevitable in order to save this family. I, too, rdslot, like to believe that Zalmai grew up to be just like his stepfather, Tariq. Tariq's good, loving influence just had to be stronger than Rasheed's horrid one.
At that moment at the dinner table before Rasheed was killed, Zalmai knew the difference between cruel fun and terrible actions. And, I think that Hosseini showed us that he truly regretted his game of tattletale.
Murdering Rasheed was not an option until that moment.
Don't you think that perhaps Laila and Mariam both had strong moral compasses? I think that they were both too "good" to harm him until their own lives were threatened.
Being raised in that environment I feel that they realized that a husband had all of the power and they, as women had little or none. It would have brought so much shame on them and their families, if they had any left, to have even disobeyed their husband.
Even today, many women in Afghan, Iran, Saudi Arabia and other Moslem countries may be killed or disfigured as a result of bringing shame on their families. I don't believe that the thought of killing Rasheed was an option the women had in their minds until Mariam thought that Laila would certainly be killed there on the kitchen floor. She was moved to act and knew the consequences of her decision.
What a sad, unjust way of life for so many of our sisters. If anyone is interested in reading more on the treatment of some women in Afghanistan and about honor killings, I have included a news website below.
In a Moslem country, women are the sacred repository of a family's honor.
There is an interesting article in a recent issue of TIME on the efforts being made to educate women in the six years since the Taliban have been ousted in Afghanistan. The article included a discussion of how many fathers will not let the daughters attend classes because women are not allowed to be in the company of men who are not family members -- much what we see in Hosseinni's work. Classes, and ideally, schools, are segregated. Most of the instructors are women, for the same reason -- even being in a classroom with a male teacher is taboo. The hope is that more young girls and women will eventually come to school, as educating one woman results in the actual education of many more. Girls in school often teach others in the home and neighborhood, and educated mothers educate their own children, in turn.
When I read thhe article this week, I couldn't help but think of Laila's efforts in the orphanage/school there in Kabul. When Hosseinni made his trip to Kabul two years ago, he says he spent considerable time talking to Afghani women, and that his characters are largely 'composites' of many women. I found that interesting.
Ironically enough, Mariam's province of Herat has had the most success educating its girls and young women.
The conversation at Rasheed's dinner table that Zalmai playfully started was "a tattletale game" as Hosseini called it. Zalmai was telling on his mother trying to make what he thought was a mountain out of a molehill.
"Zalmai looked at Laila apologetically, on the verge of tears." (p.304) He then stammered when instructed to tell his father where everyone else in the house was while Tariq visited with Laila. He knew that this day had a terrible consequence in store for his mother, whom I think he dearly loved.
Zalmai loved Laila, but he "worshipped" his father, his indulging teacher. I believe he started his game to please his father, not to injure his mother. Laila knew this, also, as she told Zalmai that it was okay - to tell his father the truth. It seems that she was protecting her child by not forcing him to lie and also be an object of Rasheed's fury.
The final disclosure was when Zalmai was being sent upstairs by his father and Zalmai saw the alarm on Mariam's face. Hosseini made me feel the nervousness on Zalmai's face when he wrote: "He (Zalmai) sensed now that his tattletale game had let something serious - adult serious - into the room."
Killing Rasheed was wrong, in a moral sense, but it seemed inevitable in order to save this family. I, too, rdslot, like to believe that Zalmai grew up to be just like his stepfather, Tariq. Tariq's good, loving influence just had to be stronger than Rasheed's horrid one.
At that moment at the dinner table before Rasheed was killed, Zalmai knew the difference between cruel fun and terrible actions. And, I think that Hosseini showed us that he truly regretted his game of tattletale.
I agree with everything you said - great post, gemthornton!
Education for girls is vastly different from education for boys.
Thank you, Sunnydee. I glad that you are joining the discussion.
I read that article in "Time", as well, rdslots. The one thing that stands out in my mind is that the burqa is not only a covering to hide the temptress woman, but also is quite heavy and a physical burden to wear. How telling is that?
It is not enough that women in Afghanistan and other Islamic countries must hide themselves because they "belong" to a particular man, but that they have the additional male-enforced bondage of the sheer weight of their burqas to keep them down.
This doesn't even address how dangerous it is to wear a heavy burqa. These garments are not made out of guaze or filmy linen. They are made of very heavy fabric. It is difficult to see or hear with a burqa covering one's head.
But, it is even more dangerous to go out into traffic without one. Is it better to have the sudden end caused by a car that a woman cannot hear or see coming, or the agonizing life of trying to escape a daily beating and belittlement - of no life of your own?
Although many young girls are now attending schools, at least for a short period of time, their segregated schools, teachers and supplies are of the poorest, meager quality and quantity. These determined young woman who quest for an education will be the very young woman who bring their mothers out of the bondage of the burqa and all that it signifies.
I have a relative of a relative who is in Kabul now. Conditions there are just appalling.
I never knew that the burqa was so heavy and inconvenient until reading this book.
My DH is reading it now, and it will be interesting to hear his reactions. Thanks to this forum, I have plenty to say.
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Murdering Rasheed was not an option until that moment.
