Homesick! (Diablo: to live, military, assess)

[chrstnd]

Hi all. I landed a job and moved out to SoCal from NY (30 years old never moved before). I gave it a lot of thought before hand, going back and forth on my decision and finally decided to try it out since I was/am in a place financially, etc. where it wouldn't kill me to do so. However, I'v been here 2 weeks now and started my first week at work and I really just want to go back to NY, even with the cold, snow, and all the other crap involved. Its where my family and 'home' is. I know everyone says to 'give it a chance' but I work in a field where I will be on orientation for a few months with a steep learning curve and I don't feel its fair to the workplace, nor is it worth it for me to learn and acclimate to everything just to end up leaving anyway. I always felt in NY that the only thing there was my family and some friends and thought hey i can always visit. But now that I'm here I'm thinking that I might have to just go back and be around the people I love even if its not the place I need to be at or necessarily want to be at all the time. I would love to see and experience what the West has to offer but I'm fairly confident my family is simply more important and I will just have to plan vacations to see these things. Any thoughts on relocating for work and ending up going back? (particularly for family.) I'm so conflicted.

[Finper]

You don't sound very conflicted. Ca isn't for everyone but you should give it a year and reasses. You'll feel better when you make friends here.

[JGC97]

I agree with Finper. Two weeks isn't enough time to make such a big decision to go back home. It's tough to uproot yourself from everything and everyone you know, move across country and feel comfortable right away. Give it time. On your off time, go out and explore, try to get to know others. I know it's not easy to make new friends and when you're a single, it can get pretty lonely. Try and think of it as a new adventure in your life and if, after a year, you still feel the same then you can go back home. I hope you won't rush to do that. Have some fun in your new digs.

[ElDiabloJoe]

Moving away from home, and experiencing a new part of the world is a big dose of personal growth. It took me two years to adjust when I first left here and went to the east coast. I'm back now for 30 years, but going back to the east coast again next year.

6 month learning curve in a new profession? Military or police academy?

Personally, I think you should put on the big boy pants and tough out a year to learn about a different place and people, and for personal growth and experience. If after that you haven't met new friends, learned new habits, gained some geographic familiarity, and otherwise started to adjust, then you can reassess what and where you want to be.

Best of luck to you.
PS- Don't be a quitter.

[sasie123]

Originally Posted by chrstnd

Hi all. I landed a job and moved out to SoCal from NY (30 years old never moved before). I gave it a lot of thought before hand, going back and forth on my decision and finally decided to try it out since I was/am in a place financially, etc. where it wouldn't kill me to do so. However, I'v been here 2 weeks now and started my first week at work and I really just want to go back to NY, even with the cold, snow, and all the other crap involved. Its where my family and 'home' is. I know everyone says to 'give it a chance' but I work in a field where I will be on orientation for a few months with a steep learning curve and I don't feel its fair to the workplace, nor is it worth it for me to learn and acclimate to everything just to end up leaving anyway. I always felt in NY that the only thing there was my family and some friends and thought hey i can always visit. But now that I'm here I'm thinking that I might have to just go back and be around the people I love even if its not the place I need to be at or necessarily want to be at all the time. I would love to see and experience what the West has to offer but I'm fairly confident my family is simply more important and I will just have to plan vacations to see these things. Any thoughts on relocating for work and ending up going back? (particularly for family.) I'm so conflicted.

We miss you, come back.!!!!! NYC just became one of AMAZON'S headquarters in Long Island, Queens, and there will be lots, and lots, and lots of jobs...........and I am positively sure, your family will be missing you.....whatever you decide........a Happy Thanksgiving to you, and yours.....!!!!!!

[NewbieHere]

Originally Posted by ElDiabloJoe

Moving away from home, and experiencing a new part of the world is a big dose of personal growth. It took me two years to adjust when I first left here and went to the east coast. I'm back now for 30 years, but going back to the east coast again next year.

6 month learning curve in a new profession? Military or police academy?

Personally, I think you should put on the big boy pants and tough out a year to learn about a different place and people, and for personal growth and experience. If after that you haven't met new friends, learned new habits, gained some geographic familiarity, and otherwise started to adjust, then you can reassess what and where you want to be.

Best of luck to you.
PS- Don't be a quitter.

Yes same here, I thought I made a stupid mistake after my first year in Boston, moved from California. By the time I moved back, almost 3 years later, I missed the East Coast.

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by chrstnd

Hi all. I landed a job and moved out to SoCal from NY (30 years old never moved before). I gave it a lot of thought before hand, going back and forth on my decision and finally decided to try it out since I was/am in a place financially, etc. where it wouldn't kill me to do so. However, I'v been here 2 weeks now and started my first week at work and I really just want to go back to NY, even with the cold, snow, and all the other crap involved. Its where my family and 'home' is. I know everyone says to 'give it a chance' but I work in a field where I will be on orientation for a few months with a steep learning curve and I don't feel its fair to the workplace, nor is it worth it for me to learn and acclimate to everything just to end up leaving anyway. I always felt in NY that the only thing there was my family and some friends and thought hey i can always visit. But now that I'm here I'm thinking that I might have to just go back and be around the people I love even if its not the place I need to be at or necessarily want to be at all the time. I would love to see and experience what the West has to offer but I'm fairly confident my family is simply more important and I will just have to plan vacations to see these things. Any thoughts on relocating for work and ending up going back? (particularly for family.) I'm so conflicted.

Keep in mind that if you stay away from friends and family for too long, they will feel abandoned and the relationships will decline as they find new friends to replace you. CA is a beautiful place but be sure it is worth it to you, your family and friends. Too many find out too late that when they go back their friends have a new schedule that is hard to break back into.

[likealady]

I took me a good year - year + half to adjust to CA (Bay Area) after moving from the East Coast. Give it some time. If after a year you still feel the same, at least you can say you gave it a try. I agree that finding some friends helps.

[9kidsanddone]

2 months ago we moved to Ca from NJ. I cant stand the cold (DETEST IT), the rudeness, the attitudes and so much more. We were in the same home for over 20 years, raised 9 kids there, made amazing friends and have family back in NJ.
But, in the end, being 52, I realized that life isnt forever and I cant keep hating 6 months out of every year due to cold (I truly hibernate, its no way to live). We took 6 kids with us and left 3 of our oldest behind and started over here.

It is VERY VERY VERY hard not being with my oldest kids BUT like I told my children...We are taking the next 2 years to experience this amazing adventure. If at the end of the 2 years we hate it and miss our family too much, we go back.
How many can say that they had the guts to make the move?

One of my friends went to Miami for 18 months because of her husbands job. When she moved back to NJ she said it was the best experience of her life and it taught them as a family so much. (She also said at first they hated it and then when it was time to go back they all cried and wanted to stay!)

Give it time. NY and your family will be there if you decide to go back in a year (True friends and family dont "forget you" or replace you). In the meantime, be happy you are missing their awful weather and try to get out, meet people and ENJOY this adventure you are on!!!

[Tulemutt]

Originally Posted by 9kidsanddone

2 months ago we moved to Ca from NJ. I cant stand the cold (DETEST IT), ...

Uncle Sam moved me west from Minnesota over 50 years ago ... still here (California) ... end of story ... speaking of hating the cold