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I appreciated everyone's positive replies. I was very embarrassed by my own maudlin remarks and wanted to remove that particular post, and then couldn't.
Gotta teach. Write more later. Good day today, though I'm already feeling nauseated for some reason.
Please ask your onc about Emend. It is the most effective anti-emetic out there. I hope you feel better tomorrow. I also couldn't live without Dulcolax stool softener when I was in chemo (not the laxative, but the softener - they make both kinds). Also, stock up on pudding cups and fruit cups. Those Carnation instant breakfast drinks are great, too, and have a lot of nutrients. You are not going to feel like regular meals.
On Emend, it is extraordinarily expensive. Most of my drugs cost between $15 and $40 with my insurance. Emend was going to be over $100 for not all that many pills. My onc gave me compazine and zofran (both much more reasonably priced) but also gave me a script for Emend. He told me not to fill it unless neither of the previous drugs were working. It never came to that - in fact, I don't think I ever even had to take zofran for breakthrough nausea more than once. I really recommend that - you have it if you need it but you can make sure the other meds aren't working first.
A lot of chemo nausea comes from anxiety - especially leading up to chemo. Ask about ativan. They even gave me ativan via my port because I would walk into each session gagging.
On Emend, it is extraordinarily expensive. Most of my drugs cost between $15 and $40 with my insurance. Emend was going to be over $100 for not all that many pills. My onc gave me compazine and zofran (both much more reasonably priced) but also gave me a script for Emend. He told me not to fill it unless neither of the previous drugs were working. It never came to that - in fact, I don't think I ever even had to take zofran for breakthrough nausea more than once. I really recommend that - you have it if you need it but you can make sure the other meds aren't working first.
A lot of chemo nausea comes from anxiety - especially leading up to chemo. Ask about ativan. They even gave me ativan via my port because I would walk into each session gagging.
Oh, okay. That's what I'm feeling. I've got two small surgeries, even before the chemo starts, a cholonoscopy and the putting in of the port. Both are proceeded with drinking this stuff which cleans you out, which is the most unpleasant part.
It's an intrusion of one's body. It's hard to allow people to do that to you. I don't want to do this but I don't see that I have a choice. It would be a shame not to try and then die of cancer if I don't have to.
I'm also wondering if, long term, I shouldn't move to Houston--where they have the MD Cancer Center--or to Denver, where they have medical marijuana dispensaries. I'm not going to smoke anything, ever, again, but if I'm going to die anyway, it would be nice to have some mj cookies or something.
Are you not comfortable with the team of professionals helping you now? You should not need to move to a major city for cancer treatment, although of course if you want to, that's understandable. When I was first diagnosed, I went for a second opinion at my nearest major city, and the onc there ordered the same treatment that my local onc ordered. I have to wonder, unless you have some sort of rare cancer, if the treatment is pretty much standard and accepted nation-wide. By all means, travel to a larger city for a second opinion if it will give you confidence and reassurance.
I'd enjoy mj if it were legal I think...but honestly don't worry about the nausea so much. As others have posted above, I too have only had mild, occasional nausea, and the prescription meds control it when it does occur. I don't think medical marijuana will be necessary at all, and I think the more you worry about nausea, the more likely it is that you'll experience it. Nausea just works that way, at least for me.
I get what you are saying about not trying. I have had a rough few days, low energy, mild stomach upset, just feeling drained. Walking about the house makes me out of breath, although today things are getting better. It would be easy to say, never mind, I don't want to do this...but in the end it's just a handful of months and hopefully I will live a long, healthy life for committing to this.
Everyone is so sweet. My Choctaw grandmother had breast cancer, around 50 years ago in Oklahoma. She drank the white doctor's chemo medication (I guess she drank it), got sicker and died, anyway. I always swore, after that, that if I got cancer I wouldn't do any chemo or radiation. No such thing. I'm doing it, against my better judgment.
Is it really true that people go through this, and live out their natural lives? Things have gotten so much better since 50 years ago?
I watched the movie last night with Julia Roberts, something like "Eat, Drink, Pray, Love." I didn't like it when I first saw it, but last night I did get some insights into myself, though I don't know if I can describe them all.
One thing, this is the hardest that I've ever done. Losing loved ones, taking the LSAT, my graduate recital -- those things were hard, but nothing like this. I think this requires a deep awareness of what's going on in my mind. Like choosing your thoughts.
The other thing is a character issue; I don't like all the components of my past behavior: wanting the easy path, letting other people spoil me, being self-centered. Bertrand Russell (my favorite author) wrote about "the indifference of nature and the cruelty of man" and how we have to be aware of all that but "think and feel nobly." Not an easy prescription.
When it did become available, he went from puking in the car on the way home from his treatments to stopping at Burger King for lunch on the way home from his treatments.
Zofran is way less expensive now than it was back then and might work just as well as Emend. I personally took Emend before some surgery last year, and I can vouch for its effectiveness.
With the drugs that are available now, nausea is much, much les of an issue than in the past.
You do need to be "cleaned out" for the colonoscopy, but there is no reason to need to do that for the port insertion that I can see. You will just be asked not to eat or drink anything for several hours before the anesthesia.
Everyone is so sweet. My Choctaw grandmother had breast cancer, around 50 years ago in Oklahoma. She drank the white doctor's chemo medication (I guess she drank it), got sicker and died, anyway. I always swore, after that, that if I got cancer I wouldn't do any chemo or radiation. No such thing. I'm doing it, against my better judgment.
Is it really true that people go through this, and live out their natural lives? Things have gotten so much better since 50 years ago?
I watched the movie last night with Julia Roberts, something like "Eat, Drink, Pray, Love." I didn't like it when I first saw it, but last night I did get some insights into myself, though I don't know if I can describe them all.
On thing, this is the hardest that I've ever done. Losing loved ones, taking the LSAT, my graduate recital -- those things were hard, but nothing like this. I think this requires a deep awareness of what's going on in my mind. Like choosing your thoughts.
The other thing is a character issue; I don't like all the components of my past behavior: wanting the easy path, letting other people spoil me, being self-centered. Bertrand Russell (my favorite author) wrote about "the indifference of nature and the cruelty of man" and how we have to be aware of all that but "think and feel nobly." Not an easy prescription.
There really was no effective chemotherapy for breast cancer 50 years ago. That was pretty much the day of delayed diagnosis and radical mastectomy. We've come a long way since then!
>> You do need to be "cleaned out" for the colonoscopy, but there is no reason to need to do that for the port insertion that I can see. You will just be asked not to eat or drink anything for several hours before the anesthesia
Am I confused about this? What they're stipulating is:
I bet I am misreading the document regarding the port meds. They look like they're crossed out. I just emailed my oncology nurse to get this straightened out. Thanks for noticing what is probably my error.
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