42 yr old daughter refuses mammogram (pain, natural, time, doctor)
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She has always done things her way. Still I think this is so important and she has never had a baseline mammogram and will not go. Her beliefs are that the law of attraction will keep her from getting cancer, or some such baloney.
My breast cancer was found with the annual screening and I was lucky enough that it was caught early and I am 5 years post mastectomy now, with a whole lot less worries. Except now, I am worried about her. What to do? Nag or let it go???
She has always done things her way. Still I think this is so important and she has never had a baseline mammogram and will not go. Her beliefs are that the law of attraction will keep her from getting cancer, or some such baloney.
My breast cancer was found with the annual screening and I was lucky enough that it was caught early and I am 5 years post mastectomy now, with a whole lot less worries. Except now, I am worried about her. What to do? Nag or let it go???
Let go and let God I say.
In other words, pray for him to change her heart.
Nagging will only negatively impact your relationship and bring aggravation into your life.
As much as we sometimes wish our adult kids would take the good advice we have for them, they ARE adults now and have to live their lives on their own terms.
If you simply cannot remain silent on the issue, at least try another tack.
Don't lecture, don't argue, just keep your voice very low and calm and tell her something like this...
"honey I love you so much and I've very afraid for your health given all I've had to go through in my fight against cancer. I'm sorry to make you feel I don't respect your choices. I very much respect you as a person! No matter how old you get you will never be too old to be my child, the person I want most in this world to protect from pain and suffering, and that is why I just haven't been able to let the subject drop."
She has always done things her way. Still I think this is so important and she has never had a baseline mammogram and will not go. Her beliefs are that the law of attraction will keep her from getting cancer, or some such baloney.
My breast cancer was found with the annual screening and I was lucky enough that it was caught early and I am 5 years post mastectomy now, with a whole lot less worries. Except now, I am worried about her. What to do? Nag or let it go???
You, her mother, have had breast cancer? That increases your daughter's chances of getting it much more than the average person. What is she afraid of, finding out she might have cancer or the actual mammogram process? I remember when I first used to get my mammograms, they were slightly uncomfortable and embarassing. Now I just go in and do it and get out. I figure these x-ray tecs see so many boobs, they could care less about mine. I would go with her to her OB/GYN and let him/her know that she is 42 and never had a mammogram and your history. Maybe between the doctor and you being there you can convince her.
I think nagging her will just make her more resistant to having a mammogram done. I would leave it be, and hopefully her health care provider will encourage her and eventually convince her.
I have had breast cancer, as has my mother, so I can understand your worry. I suspect your daughter is sticking her head in the sand out of fear. I'm sorry you have to worry about this.
Mine was also caught via a mammo (which was more than a yr overdue) - honestly I think mammo's are important (as are colonoscopies) - but I don't think nagging will help - that said, maybe you could mention in passing if the subject comes up naturally - there's so much more awareness about mammo's these days too (Angelina Jolie, etc) - I would try not to harp on it though - rare as it is these days, I know ppl who have never had mammo's and are ok - but my motto/mantra is 'better safe than sorry' (even if it's overdue), why wait, it's not that uncomfortable (compared to the alternative).
Have you had the genetic testing? Maybe if you did, and it came back positive maybe she would reconsider.
Wouldn't it be more feasible for HER to have genetic testing? I have considered doing it myself but for what purpose? I already know all the ailments I have most of which I got from both parents.
She has always done things her way. Still I think this is so important and she has never had a baseline mammogram and will not go. Her beliefs are that the law of attraction will keep her from getting cancer, or some such baloney.
My breast cancer was found with the annual screening and I was lucky enough that it was caught early and I am 5 years post mastectomy now, with a whole lot less worries. Except now, I am worried about her. What to do? Nag or let it go???
I am trying to comprehend all this: you are a cancer survivor which probably puts her in a higher risk category and she won't even consider a mammogram. I guess I am not very smart cause I just can't understand her thinking. As for what to do, I don't think there is much you can do, other than beg her, for your sake to reconsider. After that, you have to accept she is an adult and is responsible for her health.
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