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Also which is kinda weird is I see alot of children in their late 50's to 65 living in the same facility as their parent. So weird. It happens all the time.
I don't get it. How can someone under age 65 be in a "facility"? Can you give a few examples of the medical conditions which have put them there? Have they fried their brains with drug abuse? Or perhaps had a stroke way before the time to have strokes? I know there is such a thing as early onset Altzheimer's disease, but that is relatively rare. And you are talking about the facility where you yourself work, right?
No one can take advantage of you without your own aquiescence. It's time to do what is right for you. Practice standing up to your parents. Tell your dad, "No, taking care of family does not come first", just to see what he says, and to practice a bit with the idea.
Oh trust me, my parents have never suffered from a lack of me speaking my mind. However, the stress of the expectation - even though I certainly will never give in (even if I was of the means to be of help) - is absolutely overwhelming and devastating. It's not so easy as to tell them "No" and then everything gets back to normal, and it's not easy to abandon your parents.
I don't get it. How can someone under age 65 be in a "facility"? Can you give a few examples of the medical conditions which have put them there? Have they fried their brains with drug abuse? Or perhaps had a stroke way before the time to have strokes? I know there is such a thing as early onset Altzheimer's disease, but that is relatively rare. And you are talking about the facility where you yourself work, right?
In addition to strokes and early onset Alzheimer's (neither of which is particularly rare), there are complications from heart attacks, complications from cancer or other illnesses, MS, accidents, etc.
There are also plenty of illnesses that would not normally require full time care, but if you do not have a support system due to being widowed, divorced, etc., what could be manageable at home would require assisted living instead.
The boomers just started turning 65 last year. His daughter (age 51) is the boomer.
Good point. People toss around terms they don't know the meaning of. I suspect that relatively few "boomers" need caregivers/companions or have become a burden on their children or others. Yes, there are exceptions .. .but they're just that, exceptions.
Well, DH needs some kinds of care and he's a boomer. But there's nobody other than me (his wife) to care for him. I'm recently adding mild stroke to a very long list of medical conditions he's accumulated in the last decade. What we will do if I'm not able to continue this one of these days...I don't know.
Hi Escort Rider
There are many ailments that can cause a person younger than the age of 50 be in a long term facility. MS is a big one when a person loses the use of their legs and become bed ridden that is just the start of a long list. Stroke is a big one. Car accident that leaves you disabled in the mental aspects as well as physical. Parkisons ah cancer the list goes on on on on on ...Its horrible like the MS thing is not genetic and doesn't usually run in a family just all of a sudden you start to lose your balance and then you can't walk anymore then you cant use your arms then it just goes on and on it is scary. It is not full of people who were alcoholics or druggies I am sure there are more than I know but it is also people who don't know they have a problem with sugars or blood pressure and so on. Its a lot of lack of regular doctor visits and life that puts people there before a normal time. COPD is a big one too.
Oh, forgot to add that what started it all in DH's case was a simple gall bladder operation, which ended badly when a mistake was made. Could have happened to anybody, I guess. Within six months he was circling the drain due to septic shock, somehow surviving each turn for the worse, but never completely recovering. Then lots of unfortunate medical events since then resulting in a perfect storm of illness and disability.
Its coming folks. the baby boomers are starting to retire and the amount of money the govt. has to pay for all their medical care is not going to keep up.
This is a loaded statement and, I suspect, true. The boomers will undoubtedly overwhelm the healthcare and nursing home systems. Many doctors are stopping accepting Medicare patients. If this trend escalates, as it probably will, then what? What systems will we have in place to ensure that the elderly, most of whom rely on Medicare as their primary insurance, will have any care at all? Will families have to step up and pay? I've read articles in which stories about family members being required to pay is starting to happen. Fast forward ten or twenty years, and where will be be? The boomers who have top to bottom health coverage will be OK, but in reality, what percentage is that? I would guess not the majority.
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