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At the age of 57, I had a bad dog bite (three inches wide, down to the bone) and had daily IV infusions for four weeks. I was not dragging a pole around, etc., but had a very good home infusion person come in and set me up (after getting a long-term line surgically inserted- a PICC line) and I did the daily infusion without any difficulty whatsoever. The nurse came once a week with more supplies, I avoided being in hospital with all its stressors and infections and it went very well. I asked her about elderly people, poor eyesight, whatever, and she said with instruction and on-call availability for questions, people did very well with home infusion. It's not just a cost-saving move- it makes sense.
That said, I would beg those who say "Our parents retired with ___" and name all the financial securities thereof, please remember that it depends on who your parents were and how they functioned (or didn't function). I trust I'm not the only poster whose parents didn't do anything right and fell off the edge early (my mother) or accept their actions and live on Soc.Sec. in a very modest trailer and walk to all needs (my father).
I have friends/relatives pushing 60 (or past) who have had multiple layoffs in their 50s, and if they had retirement accounts, had to empty them for daily living.
Yes, I know people who have done nothing for their futures. But it's not everyone.
It's basically a crap shoot. But I like to think I will wander off into the woods before going into a nursing home. Cannot think of anything worse than lying in bed with strangers attending you in close, depressing quarters. I don't know who dreamed up the current system but they had a seriously depressing "aesthetic."
At the age of 57, I had a bad dog bite (three inches wide, down to the bone) and had daily IV infusions for four weeks. I was not dragging a pole around, etc., but had a very good home infusion person come in and set me up (after getting a long-term line surgically inserted- a PICC line) and I did the daily infusion without any difficulty whatsoever. The nurse came once a week with more supplies, I avoided being in hospital with all its stressors and infections and it went very well. I asked her about elderly people, poor eyesight, whatever, and she said with instruction and on-call availability for questions, people did very well with home infusion. It's not just a cost-saving move- it makes sense.
Thanks for posting this. Now I can see where this would work.
That said, I would beg those who say "Our parents retired with ___" and name all the financial securities thereof, please remember that it depends on who your parents were and how they functioned (or didn't function). I trust I'm not the only poster whose parents didn't do anything right and fell off the edge early (my mother) or accept their actions and live on Soc.Sec. in a very modest trailer and walk to all needs (my father).
I have friends/relatives pushing 60 (or past) who have had multiple layoffs in their 50s, and if they had retirement accounts, had to empty them for daily living.
Yes, I know people who have done nothing for their futures. But it's not everyone.
The generation getting ready to retire has had a struggle getting a nest egg together for retirement. Pensions funds have been raided. The stock market scam depleted a lot of 401K's. Frequent moves for jobs make it difficult to retire with a paid-for home.
Plus launching kids into the world, sending them to college, etc., has become so much more expensive. When my DH and I went to college, tuition at state universities could be earned by working summers. When my DH graduated he had a job waiting for him. He actually got a letter in the mail telling him when to report for duty.
It's basically a crap shoot. But I like to think I will wander off into the woods before going into a nursing home. Cannot think of anything worse than lying in bed with strangers attending you in close, depressing quarters. I don't know who dreamed up the current system but they had a seriously depressing "aesthetic."
Though many say they would wander off into the woods (or shoot themselves, or save up pills...), few do. You might be one of those few, but the majority of people cling to life, regardless of circumstances.
Read a study some time ago about people facing dialysis. While a great many responded that they would rather die than face years of dialysis, when the time came, nearly everyone opted for dialysis. Very few said no thanks, I'm ready to go.
The alternative to being cared for by strangers is to be cared for by friends and family. Seems I've read that the majority of those requiring long-term care are being cared for by family members, generally spouses or children.
Other than Home Health Aides and visiting Nurses, there are very few supports for families doing this. Respite care is difficult to arrange and expensive.
Adult day programs are a lifesaver. The elder has peers to interact with and mental and physical stimulation. The caregiver can continue working. But these programs are not widely available and generally costly.
One woman I know rented part of her home to college medical students. She enjoyed cooking and they enjoyed the home cooked meals and a quiet place to study. In return for very reasonable rent, they shoveled the walks, mowed the lawn, cleaned the house once a week, drove her shopping and (when possible) to medical appts. This arrangement worked well for years and years.
While this, of course, would not work when one got to the stage of needing total care, I think the more creative among us will come up with such solutions.
I am a boomer, my father died at age 84, he was getting ready to finally move to Florida as he could no longer live alone in Illinois and I could no longer commute back and forth. My mother is 86, lives in NC for 7 months and 5 months here in Florida, her companion of 21 years died last June, she refuses to sell her house in NC, a home that is not doable for a senior. The home is set in the hills, long steep steps up and down, no other way to get in the house. She is now mentally losing it, and is fighting me and my brother at every turn. We are already exhausted and this has just begun, she is physically ok for a 86 yo, but mentally, the shade is coming down and quickly.
My point is that many of us boomers are already taking care of our parents, most of my friends are involved in the caretaking of their parent(s). They system is already taxed, my friends, like me don't want our children to be burdened with caretaking us, and many of my friends already know that their children wouldn't do it anyway, as they are too self indulgent.
So, me, when the time comes, I plan to check myself into a senior home and take it from there. I have set aside money for this venture,all I can do is hope that it is enough.
And hasn't every generation gone through this ? It's not something new to boomers. Or am I missing something ?
What is unique is the high birth rate and consequent excessive numbers of Baby Boomers (requiring expensive and labor-intensive care and support as they get old), combined with the lower birth rate that followed, creating sparse numbers of younsters expected to take care of their older relatives.
With modern humans often living independently into their 70s and 80s, and a significant number of divorces followed by remarriage and another set of children, things are changing in society and the adjustment period will be volatile. Life will be more complex and stressful for many who find themselves drafted into the "Sandwich Generation," where middle-aged Americans find themselves caretaking and financing both young children and elderly relatives at the same time.
I am a boomer, my father died at age 84, he was getting ready to finally move to Florida as he could no longer live alone in Illinois and I could no longer commute back and forth. My mother is 86, lives in NC for 7 months and 5 months here in Florida, her companion of 21 years died last June, she refuses to sell her house in NC, a home that is not doable for a senior. The home is set in the hills, long steep steps up and down, no other way to get in the house. She is now mentally losing it, and is fighting me and my brother at every turn. We are already exhausted and this has just begun, she is physically ok for a 86 yo, but mentally, the shade is coming down and quickly.
My point is that many of us boomers are already taking care of our parents, most of my friends are involved in the caretaking of their parent(s). They system is already taxed, my friends, like me don't want our children to be burdened with caretaking us, and many of my friends already know that their children wouldn't do it anyway, as they are too self indulgent.
So, me, when the time comes, I plan to check myself into a senior home and take it from there. I have set aside money for this venture,all I can do is hope that it is enough.
That's the thing (in bold, above) about our parents' generation--they were born before the onset of so much industrialized foods and environmental toxins, even if born during poorer economic times. Their physical constitutions are hardy and often outlast their mental capacities. One family member of mine who died at 90 was a heavy smoker and drinker and ate nothing but fatty foods like sausage, no exercise not even walking. He had SIX major heart attacks starting in his fifties and was confined to a chair most of his old age but he lasted and lasted like the energizer battery.
So many in our parents' generation are like that--they didn't have so much of the soft lifestyle the boomers have. Many suffered deprivations early on, during the wars and great despression, etc. They often last to an old age physically but mentally they're gone from demential, Alzheimers, etc.
The boomers are a funny lot. Some of us led a cushy lifestyle with no hard physical labor (desk jobs and the gym) or deprivations and so are not so hardy as our elders, yet others of us have gotten into exercise, yoga, meditation, whole natural foods, etc and you'd think from all this that we are a healthier generation (?) I wonder where we boomers will be healthwise in a few years, whether we will fare better or worse generally than our parents. I do read that people are getting disease as early as their 40s now, so I have to wonder. I was never much of a believer in genetics as a major factor on health and longevity, but I'm starting to think it plays a significant part.
It's basically a crap shoot. But I like to think I will wander off into the woods before going into a nursing home. Cannot think of anything worse than lying in bed with strangers attending you in close, depressing quarters. I don't know who dreamed up the current system but they had a seriously depressing "aesthetic."
I would rather wonder off as well. I would prefer being in a nursing home being cared for strangers than my children. They have lives and I do not want to live with them or have them live with me.
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