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There is much truth in the often repeated edict that in order to take care of someone else, you must take care of yourself first.
You will have more patience and endurance if you get 'refreshed and refilled' once in awhile.
You can't give to somebody else what you have used up.
I agree with all of the above posts...good ideas. I think sitting up with my DH last night to watch some tv was a very good idea...we laughed and chatted away. I could see it made him happy. I think as long as I get 6 hours sleep a night I can manage and then sometimes I will still fall asleep in my chair early when my body says it needs it. Yes, I do need to take care of myself and that is something I am working on. Our company should arrive today..they called yesterday to tell us they would be a day late. I am excited to see them!
As far as church goes, I think if I say I am going DH will come too. It's up to me really. I think I am a little scared but after that first step things should be easy--right?
I do apologize for being so down this last week--I think the stress from DH's black out and then company coming just wore me out but I am going to make a big effort to get back to some kind of routine and find as much good around me as I can!
I just called our friends and they should arrive about 8pm. I am so excited---I feel like a little kid! Smile! Had a good evening with DH, the weather is beautiful and we have my DH's best friends coming for a visit--who could ask for more?
Today is the first day of my new life----yep, I'm not going to wait for happiness to find me I am finding it right now! A big part of our problem here was me! I now realize that after doing just one thing my DH requested of me--keeping him company last night! It made such a difference. I have been very selfish because I don't like tv--time to do something I don't like and be a better companion to my DH. And I am going to go to church and if I can get a affordable therapist I am going to do that too. This won't all happen today but it will happen and soon. Yes, I am a little scared to go to church--it's been a long time but since I do know someone there I will be fine..and I know DH will come to if I go. There again it is me that has to get the ball rolling! I spent a lot of time talking to the Big Guy above and he is giving me a ton of strength! I am tired of being sad and seeing only the worst--that is not me and I want me back! So hang on--here I come! Smile!
Today is the first day of my new life----yep, I'm not going to wait for happiness to find me I am finding it right now! A big part of our problem here was me! I now realize that after doing just one thing my DH requested of me--keeping him company last night! It made such a difference. I have been very selfish because I don't like tv--time to do something I don't like and be a better companion to my DH. And I am going to go to church and if I can get a affordable therapist I am going to do that too. This won't all happen today but it will happen and soon. Yes, I am a little scared to go to church--it's been a long time but since I do know someone there I will be fine..and I know DH will come to if I go. There again it is me that has to get the ball rolling! I spent a lot of time talking to the Big Guy above and he is giving me a ton of strength! I am tired of being sad and seeing only the worst--that is not me and I want me back! So hang on--here I come! Smile!
Girlfriend, your faith alone is going to sustain you. I can CLEARLY see it in your posts. Sometimes the best answer is to just sit there somewhere quietly and say "Lord, I am so tired, for today won't you just help me with my load". You'll feel the sense of peace surround you.
And I want you to know something Cynwldkat, I looked after my Mom who had severe Alzheimer's for 4 years. It was a 24/7 job to make sure she didn't run for the door or hurt herself in the house. There were seemingly millions of God-awful moments and chores that I would not wish on my worst enemy. But now, almost a year after her passing, do you know I really don't remember those awful moments so clearly?
The one minute out of the million of minutes I spent with her, so tired, so frazzled, so sad, so lonely, so scared - they are all washed away but the one moment, the night before she died when she woke up in bed from a bad dream, with me laying next to her stroking her arm saying "ssshhh Mommy. It was just a dream. I'm right here. Everything is alright". And for one moment those beautiful blue eyes of hers became uncloudy, focused right in on my eyes and she said "Pet, I want you to know something. I have TRULY loved you with all my heart". Within hours she was gone to her reward.
Look and wait for those moments Cynwldkat with your dear Husband. They are right there in front of you and you will cherish them long after he is gone with YOUR whole heart. It's God's simple way of blessing, rewarding and honoring us here on earth.
Location: Finally made it to Florida and lovin' every minute!
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Cyn, I think you've been doing a yeoman's job in the midst of the Perfect Storm. We're all human and you're certainly entitled to vent whenever you need. I'm so thrilled for how you're dealing with things right now. It's often the little simple things we do that mean the most to others, as well as ourselves.
cokatie, what a wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
I've bought two books by James van Praagh in the past 12 or 15 years or so and go back to read them now and then. He's a medium and, I know many people believe there's no such thing, but he shares a number of insights and stories about his experiences. He says that, quite often, a person who has been sick a long time and is near death, will do exactly what your mother did. They're given that one last opportunity to come back, even for a brief moment, to talk with their loved one(s). There's a story that Thomas Edison came out of a coma long enough to say, "It's so beautiful over there."
This story is found in "Reaching to Heaven"; he also wrote one called "Talking to Heaven". I found both books very helpful.
Have a wonderful day, my friends.
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