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Because he is sound of mind (debatable), he is totally able to check himself out when he wants. He has every right to go home to die on the floor of his house in his own filth. Sigh.
You need to put more words around "because he is sound of mind (debatable)". How does he score on the quick dementia tests? Today's date. Who is President. Memorize "ball, dog, dishes" and repeat it back 5 minutes later in the test. Etc. If he passes that test, there isn't much you can do. If he fails it, you can go to court to become legal guardian. In my state, that's probate court, some town/county social worker involvement, and a form the physician has to fill out with those test results.
The physician might say they can't do anything but many states won't allow a nursing home to send people home unattended who are incapable of caring for themselves. You might want to have a chat with the social worker about the laws in your state.
HFB - in the best of circumstances, guardianships are difficult and restrictive. With your dad, I'd say NO WAY.
The thing is, unless there's some state law where you or your dad lives that I don't know about, you're not legally responsible for him or for supporting him or whatever.
And you know I don't think you're morally responsible, not with his history.
You need to put more words around "because he is sound of mind (debatable)". How does he score on the quick dementia tests? Today's date. Who is President. Memorize "ball, dog, dishes" and repeat it back 5 minutes later in the test. Etc. If he passes that test, there isn't much you can do. If he fails it, you can go to court to become legal guardian. In my state, that's probate court, some town/county social worker involvement, and a form the physician has to fill out with those test results.
The physician might say they can't do anything but many states won't allow a nursing home to send people home unattended who are incapable of caring for themselves. You might want to have a chat with the social worker about the laws in your state.
While he does have mental illness, he has no dementia. Sharp as a tack. Me being his guardian is a no go - at all. I cant even take him in, and a lot of people want me to.
I am wondering if they will ultimately not release him. But I will let them do their process. They know his circumstances well.
While he does have mental illness, he has no dementia. Sharp as a tack. Me being his guardian is a no go - at all. I cant even take him in, and a lot of people want me to.
I am wondering if they will ultimately not release him. But I will let them do their process. They know his circumstances well.
While he does have mental illness, he has no dementia. Sharp as a tack. Me being his guardian is a no go - at all. I cant even take him in, and a lot of people want me to.
I am wondering if they will ultimately not release him. But I will let them do their process. They know his circumstances well.
When my MIL (who is of sound mind) was released from the hospital to our home, they sent someone to actually inspect our home to see if it was safe for her. (I believe it was an occupational therapist but I'm not sure.) And this was with my husband and I here looking after her, it's not like she would be alone. We didn't realize they were going to do this, but fortunately since I've been down the elderly caregiving road before I had already done thing like "slip-proof" the bathtub etc. already. So we "passed" inspection.
My point is that it sounds like it's standard procedure to make sure the person is going to be safe after they are released.
Many years ago, I worked in a Nursing Home. If I had a nickel for every 'escape plan' I heard, I would be a wealthy woman. People hate change and despise getting old and dependent on others so they dream about escape. Reclaiming their lives and doing what they want to do when they want to do it. But I never saw anyone actually do it unless there were other family members involved who supported the plan. And usually the person was moving into their home to be taken care of by their supporter.
OP, this is not an attack. I am not in your position, my mother was, and is, loved by all. But since you've said you are across the country, what are you referring to when you said your father is in a nice place, and well taken care of? i know the 5 star rating we researched before placing my mother in rehab made it sound ideal, but, it isn't. When she developed thrush and couldn't eat, we requested her food be pureed. Tonight's dinner was pureed fish and pureed cabbage. And she (rightfully) refused it. It looked and smelled like chum. We made sure she was in a private room right next to the nurses' station, and she still has to wait 30 minutes for assistance to use the bathroom after she uses her call button, which led to her UTI. They have a full slate of 'busy" activities, geared towards either the most mobile or the most infirm, and none of them add meaning to the lives of residents.
Have you looked into in-home care? The choice should be your father's. If you are concerned about his well-being, call an agency and interview care-givers. And, set up in-home cameras, just in case.
Mattie, that only works if you or your parent have lots and lots of money. She has already said he might get the 10 or so hours a week of MEDICAID in home care and it is not enough.
Money does bring more choices but this is not available in this case.
Mattie, that only works if you or your parent have lots and lots of money. She has already said he might get the 10 or so hours a week of MEDICAID in home care and it is not enough.
Money does bring more choices but this is not available in this case.
Medicaid does offer in-home care options though, the extent of those options depend on the state where the senior lives. And some states also offer supplemental care with the goal of keeping the elderly in their homes. Yes, money helps. But without knowing where the OP's father resides, it should not be ruled out as an option. I asked the OP if she has looked into those options.
But yes, an agency is probably out of reach for the OP's father.
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