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Dad was placed in a Nursing Home last spring and his dimentria is getting worse. He keeps calling my Step Mother in Law, sometimes 25-30 times a day, and when he can't reach her, calls my Wife or myself looking for her. We explain that she may be out running errands, or visiting her Grandkids, he refuses to accept the answer and asks for her number to be sure it's correct. When we give him her number, he argues "Thats not right, give me the right number !", we tell him to write it down and repeat it back, which he does, then off he goes, calling her again. The worst part is that the MIL then calls us complaining about him always calling and asks us to do something about it, she can't take it anymore !. Any ideas would be appreciated
Dad was placed in a Nursing Home last spring and his dimentria is getting worse. He keeps calling my Step Mother in Law, sometimes 25-30 times a day, and when he can't reach her, calls my Wife or myself looking for her. We explain that she may be out running errands, or visiting her Grandkids, he refuses to accept the answer and asks for her number to be sure it's correct. When we give him her number, he argues "Thats not right, give me the right number !", we tell him to write it down and repeat it back, which he does, then off he goes, calling her again. The worst part is that the MIL then calls us complaining about him always calling and asks us to do something about it, she can't take it anymore !. Any ideas would be appreciated
Step mother in law - his wife? She wants YOU to do something? Tell her to block the number.
Hate to say it but blocking him is the only way. All of you. Then she can call him once or twice a day and you guys can too. He won’t know he’s blocked, he just won’t be able to reach you. If it was an emergency the home will call your MIL from their own number. After a few weeks of not being able to reach you BUT at the same time you guys calling to check in every day, he’ll stop calling all the time. He will get mad in the beginning but I think you will just have to get through the discomfort that comes with that. It sounds harsh but there’s no other way he’s going to stop, and your MIL is going to be made sick from the stress and lack of sleep.
I have a mentally ill cousin in California who forgets the time change and calls at 2am and other inconvenient times. I block her every night and unblock her when I wake up. It’s very easy to do. There’s no point in trying to reason with people whose minds are not there enough to be reasoned with.
In some dementia facilities they do not allow the residents to have their on phones. If they want to call someone they have to ask a caregiver to make the call. Trust me, the the staff will not be making 25 or 30 calls per day.
I have told MIL, just don't answer, or block the calls. I need to contact the facility to see if blocking the number would be a problem being that his phone has an extension from their main line.....would it also block them calling us if need be ?
I have told MIL, just don't answer, or block the calls. I need to contact the facility to see if blocking the number would be a problem being that his phone has an extension from their main line.....would it also block them calling us if need be ?
My mother had her own phone when in her ALF. I paid her bill, so I know. I imagine this person cannot handle a cell phone? If not, see about getting him his own phone. You will have more control.
But I predict this phoning will decline with time.
If his phoning is an expression of extreme anxiety, consider having him evaluated and possibly prescribed a mild antidepressant. It is hard being anxious all the time. I suspect that is where he is now—in an anxious state of mind. I am not recommending drugging him into a zombie like state, but finding a humane way of easing anxious feelings.
it would be nifty if someone could set up some kind of artificial intelligence program to respond to questions with simple answers and ask basic questions with your mother in laws voice.
it would be nifty if someone could set up some kind of artificial intelligence program to respond to questions with simple answers and ask basic questions with your mother in laws voice.
Sounds like something out of the show Black Mirror.
it would be nifty if someone could set up some kind of artificial intelligence program to respond to questions with simple answers and ask basic questions with your mother in laws voice.
Actually, they are very close to having your MIL answer the phone--Here is a video about artificial intelligence use in banks, call centers, etc., etc..
"Gridspace builds software that understands speech in the call center. Grace leverages our speech and language technology to take the first steps to automating parts of the contact center."
It's pretty amazing stuff, if I worked in a call center, I would be sweating it
Step mother in law - his wife? She wants YOU to do something? Tell her to block the number.
Blocking his number could be very cruel to someone who has dementia.
OP should rather talk to the staff at the nursing home who could store his phone in a safe place and supervise his calls. Let's say - one call once or twice a day.
Pretty soon, as his dementia will progress, he won't be able to make any calls anyway.
Be patient. You will be old some day too...
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Tell her to block the number.
