Need advice on handling this situation

[Scorpio60]

We weren't there so I don't know. I do know that if I was there I would have recorded every incident with my phone.

Anyway, I wish the OP would let us know how things are going and if his older brother intervened so he could see his Mom again or if he is seeing her.

[Thomas_paterson]

I want to thank everyone who posted messages to my question.


My mom passed away last week after 1 day in hospice care. She suffered a heart attack in the nursing home that was never diagnosed by the nurses or the staff nurse practitioner. On March 4, she was sent to the hospital where the doctors suspect she had a heart attack sometime that week. When she returned to the facility, she was placed in hospice care.


I followed the advice I received on this thread and applied for and was granted reinstatement on January 26, 2022. I signed a document stating I couldn't raise my voice to any nursing home staff and if I had any complaints or frustrations, I should call the Director of nursing. I spent all of February and March with my mom for around 6 hours a day.



A few things.
A day before my mom was sent to the hospital, I noticed my mom was sleepy and fatigued and couldn't chew her food. My concern level was high and I notified the shift nurse who notified the nurse
practitioner who was sitting at a table in the main area. The NP told the nurse to tell me to call my sister
to get information about my moms case. She checked on her the day before. She never went to check on her. I was furious and couldn't do anything about it.



Upon reinstatement. I noticed the nurse practitioner didn't want to deal with me anymore and went straight to my sister who was the POA. The staff was working around me and I was powerless.



My sister and I are no longer on speaking terms and I was out of the loop on any decision making regarding my mom. After reinstatement, we went are own separate ways. I had no input on the hospice decision.



I found out later the nursing home doctor and staff were pressuring my sister to forego any hospital visits and put her directly into hospice care. The nursing home doctor sternly told me my mom was losing her dignity and quality of life and needed to go to hospice care.



I'm glad I got reinstated and got to see my mom every day in spite of this nursing home.

[kitty61]

Start an appeal.



I can't see how the home and police can do that without the burden of proof. Seems you were presumed guilty and sentenced without a trial. There is no proof that you injured your mother.

[vabeachgirlNYC]

I'm so sorry about your mom. I am happy for you, for getting to spend all that time with her.

[Scorpio60]

My heart goes out to you as I am so very sorry about your Mom. Losing someone we love is heart-breaking.

I am happy that you were able to see her every day after you were reinstated but sad that you didn't have a voice in making decisions.

Sending you and your Mom prayers.

[Ghobi]

So sorry for the your loss of you beloved mother. Glad you got to see her, that is very important.

Very tough position you were in. I’m sure seeing you was a great comfort to her.

Sending peace and respects to you and your mom and loved ones.

[ebbe]

My condolences to you. I am glad that you had the 6 hours a day to spend with her. Many people don't get that. Hope that you will take some comfort in that. May you find peace going forward.