Christmas Kitty Humor (throw, feed, older, kitchen)

[Racelady88]

I posted this last year, but thought it was time for a refresher.

How To Wrap Presents With A Cat In The Room:
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.
3. Open door and remove cat from closet.
4. Retrieve rolls of wrapping paper from their storage box.
5. Remove cat from storage box, and secure lid on box to keep cat out.
6. Go to drawer, and collect tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Lay out present and wrapping supplies on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.
14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.
15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the paper.
16. Cut second sheet of paper to size -- by putting cat in the bag the present came in.
17. Place present on paper.
18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.
19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing tape.
20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
21. Seal paper with tape, making corners as neat as possible.
22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.
23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.
25. Repeat steps 13-24 until you reach last sheet of paper.
26. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right size for last piece of paper you have remaining.
27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
28. Remove string, open box, and remove cat.
29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room.
30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials.
31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock.
32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear cat from outside door).
33. Lay out last sheet of paper on the floor.
34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door, go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped wrap gifts last year as well.
35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.
36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.
37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.
38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.
40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
41. Go to store and buy a gift bag

[chilaili]

You forgot one step: Roll out paper on table, remove cat who has laid down on top of paper, pick up roll of paper that has been chased onto floor by cat and attempt to roll back up again.

[Tigerlily64]

lol so true!

[ulrikeV]

This story immediately came to my mind:

Transcontinental Kitty: Cat ships self 1000 miles - The Daily Treat: Animal Planet

[Summerz]

So true!lol

Applies to most EVERYTHING I try to do these days.

She **older now but with same attitude lol.