Do you have a plan for your animals when you die? (kitten, declawed)

[killabunnies]

I'll try to make this story short No promises. Sorry for bringing up a tough subject but it's important for all of you who love your animals!

In 1997, my mom rescued a Tortie kitten being abused by its owner who would grab the cat by its tail, yell at her and throw beer cans at her. It was an awful life but my mom intervened and they ended up spending 13 wonderful years together as best friends. They were the perfect pair of "mature ladies," watching Food Network together on the chair with BooBoo the cranky Tortie complaining constantly (it's the cutest thing) and napping together every chance they got.

In 2010, my mom went on a business trip and never returned. She ended up in the hospital unexpectedly and died a week later. Thankfully, I had the ability and desire to take BooBoo in and grabbed her no sooner than I heard my mom was in the hospital. I was not able to talk to my mom when she was in the hospital but a nurse I spoke to promised she would tell my mom I had the cat and she was safe - I knew this was important to my mom and just wanted her to know BooBoo was in good hands, she loved that cat like nothing else.

BooBoo was grieving the loss of her best friend who left the house one day and said "OK, see you when I get back from my trip!" and never returned. Perhaps in her mind she was abandoned, perhaps she knew something must have happened as her best friend would have never just left her like that. She needed a familiar friend.

I see so many animals dumped at high-kill shelters because their owners are sick or have died. Many of these animals - like BooBoo - are loyal seniors who have given their lives to their owners and who do not stand a very good chance of being adopted. I cannot imagine the horror of being dumped in the shelter for these animals that have already suffered the loss of their companions. If you think animals cannot grieve, BooBoo is proof that it happens. She took the loss of my mom worse than I did!

All this to say my mom was young (50s) and no one expected her to pass away when she did. She did NOT have a plan in place for BooBoo but I knew what she wanted and could never have dumped the cat I've known since high school at a shelter when she needed me most.

PLEASE be sure you have spoken to your friends and family about what you want to happen to your animals when you go. I know it is difficult to think and talk about but it can save your animal's life!

Here she is hanging out with Smoky the hamster. She has the most beautiful perfect checkerboard face and is a wonderful cat, I'm honored to have her in my life.

BooBoo has lived all over this country from Minnesota to California and is now living out her days happy and healthy in our nation's capital. She celebrated her 15th birthday in December. Ours is a happy ending but this story doesn't always play out as wonderfully as it did for us.

[Kittymom4]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. But I'm sure she is appreciative that the one thing you could do for her after her passing is to take care of her cat whom she loved.

A bit over a year ago my mom - mid 50's and a non smoker - was diagnosed with lung cancer. She was fine and had a chest x-ray for a cold and they found a tiny tumor. It was like a truck out of nowhere.

My mom is married, but her two cats are "her" cats. Before her surgery to remove part of her lung she made me promise to take and care for them. Her Maddison is very very attached to her. She also made me promise not to let her Maddy grieve herself to death over the loss of my mother should something happen. I told her that I would do what I thought was best if the worst happened.

Thankfully my mother is fine. However that shadow still hangs over a cancer survivor. The unknown sits over all of us - we just choose not to see it. A very large portion of mine and my husbands death benefit goes to my mother who will be the one to care for my 5 pets. She knows she is their "caretaker". She also knows how I care for them and will do her best to keep up with that. I think it's just as important to see to those arrangements as you would a child.

[Mightyqueen801]

This is a good and thoughtful post and thread. I am 53 and think about dying every day, and I have always assumed my daughter will take care of my four cats if they outlive me. However, I believe I should have a serious conversation with her about it. She doesn't like to think about her mother dying--it's a terrible fear for her, and she's already been told I've been dead once (fortunately, she only had to deal with that for about five minutes before she found out I wasn't really dead), but that was when she was 10 and now she's nearly 21. I would like the assurance that she will take care of the cats. I already think she would, but I'd like the assurance.

[stan4]

Yes. We are in our 30s, but we have a will and my parents will be saddled with our dogs.

[=^..^=]

Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801

This is a good and thoughtful post and thread. I am 53 and think about dying every day, and I have always assumed my daughter will take care of my four cats if they outlive me.

She may or she may not. She may not be in a position to care for them at such a time. Life situations change in a heartbeat. I'm finding out my small family will most likely NOT be able or willing to take our three cats should my husband and myself die before the cats do. My son is limited to two cats and they already have two of their own. Many places are starting this rule to prevent the problems Hoarders cause. One daughter lives in the UK and both travel excessively for their jobs. Another has no interest in taking them and her own cats were all declawed. I am adamantly opposed to mutilating cats. When their last two cats pass away they have no intention of getting any more cats for several reasons. So where does this leave my cats? I have been unable to find a local Rescue that's existed for years, that takes such cats even if I have them paid through a Will. It seems the rescues come and go here in TN. It's a real worry. A real Concern.

However, I believe I should have a serious conversation with her about it. She doesn't like to think about her mother dying--it's a terrible fear for her, and she's already been told I've been dead once (fortunately, she only had to deal with that for about five minutes before she found out I wasn't really dead), but that was when she was 10 and now she's nearly 21. I would like the assurance that she will take care of the cats. I already think she would, but I'd like the assurance.

Also keep in mind that even if she agrees to take them, she may not be able to due to circumstances in her own life at the time of your death. I wish I had to answer.........

[Kittymom4]

Also keep in mind that just because it's in your will - that really means nothing. Animals are property in most states and once an animal becomes someones property they can do with it as they wish. Your leaving your pet to someone is a request and it does not have to be honored.

[killabunnies]

Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801

This is a good and thoughtful post and thread. I am 53 and think about dying every day, and I have always assumed my daughter will take care of my four cats if they outlive me. However, I believe I should have a serious conversation with her about it. She doesn't like to think about her mother dying--it's a terrible fear for her, and she's already been told I've been dead once (fortunately, she only had to deal with that for about five minutes before she found out I wasn't really dead), but that was when she was 10 and now she's nearly 21. I would like the assurance that she will take care of the cats. I already think she would, but I'd like the assurance.

My mom was 53 when she died. I'm sorry it haunts you - sometimes I wish my mom had put more thought into it but thankfully it all worked out in the end and tying up her loose ends was not as stressful as I thought going into it.

I agree with you that you should have this conversation. It doesn't even have to start out with "HEY IF I WERE TO DIE TOMORROW..." but just something along the lines of "If anything ever happens to me, are you comfortable taking care of the cats?" Perhaps look into setting up some kind of trust fund for their care so the financial burden of caring for them is lessened a bit.

Avoiding the subject out of fear does not change the reality that we all go at some point. I would say if you do not feel comfortable having this conversation with your daughter now (and I don't blame you!), make alternate plans as a backup. If she - like me - knows when you go that you would have wanted her to care for them and has the ability to do so,
she can take them. But I would really talk to her. Four cats is a huge responsibility and one that I might not have been able to handle when my mom died. Thankfully it was only BooBoo (at the time, ha, I've since added two more) and my landlord was understanding about the circumstances and allowed me to have her.

[ylisa7]

This is a good topic and reminds us that we should have a will in order for all of our wishes to be carried out after we are gone.(well as much as they cane without us around) You are never too young to have your life and death in order.


I also want my dog buried on our property which she considers "her" domain.

[PacificFlights]

This was discussed at lenght here and in the Retirement Forum. There were many good advice from wills to trust to animal care directorates, etc.

However, I want to once agin make one point crytsal clear. No matter what you do as far as a trust, will, request, bequest, directorate, or plain old do this when I croak, make darn sure that you have a bridge plan for what to do the moment something happens until such time as all the legal/request stuff is taken care of.

The majority of animals in shelters or dead inside an apratment or house is because nobody was aware of the animal needs during the emotional time. A will may ot even be looked at until aftre someone kicks the bucket and what if thats a couple of weeks?, what is happening to the pet in the mean time? You need to have a trusted person, even if they are not going to be the final owner of the pet, who has the ability, authority and understanding to act immediately for the care of the pet. Don;t expect sister or mom or daughter or lover to be thinking of a pet when your banged to heck ina hospital bed on deaths door. They will be focusing on you, not the epet. So have someone who when informed or suspects something, can and will act to care for your pet until such time as all the other plans can be acted on.

[latetotheparty]

this is something that i worry about EVERY SINGLE day..... i have the immediate care taken care of .... it is the long term or permanent situation that i can't figure out....

i have 4 dogs and 1 cat.... the 2 little dogs would be fine going into foster care with one of the rescues i work with and would (hopefully) be adopted into new forever homes reasonably quickly......

bailey and dave, however, would not do well AT ALL iin a foster situation, unless they were the only 2 dogs in the foster home and THAT is not something i see with any regularity.... dave is afraid of other dogs and reacts aggressively.... bailey is not comfortable surrounded by a lot of other dogs....

these two i worry about .... i have no husband or children.... i have one brother and nephew who live a thousand miles away from me.... neither of whom would i trust with this responsibility.... my friends are at capacity, although i do have one friend who said she could take one of the big dogs .....

the shelter that i adopted the cats and them from is a no-kill with a return any time for any reason poilcy .... charlie-chubby-kitty could go there.... but bailey and dave would NOT do well in a shelter environment......

**sigh**