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Is there something scared Hannah? When did you find her different from herself?
I suspected she would have the harder time adjusting, just because she's always been a scaredy girl - even when the other cats would come to the office on their annual visits (she'd hide and run from them, William wouldn't). I kept them in the back room for a while when I brought them home - William wanted out fairly quickly, as he'd been in the house with them before during his eye surgery time. I let Hannah stay longer, and gradually coaxed her out and into the rest of the house. But.. Canute started chasing her fairly quickly because of her insecure behavior. We could hear the fights and would break them up. She began finding 'safe spots' - under the kitchen chair, at her food place behind the plant, on the bed shelf. Canute would still stalk her. We would have to carry her up to the bedroom at night (sometimes she'd come on her own after everyone was asleep) and she'd get worse and worse on the carrying. It was when DH watered the plant and she was trying to drink from the cup that I realized it had really gotten too bad and put her in the back room.
She's much more relaxed and normal in there. I can leave the door open and she won't come out - she might look out, but then she'll run back to the far end. For a while Henry was picking on her too, because he was emulating Canute. He doesn't do it much anymore now.
So it's the different location and in particular Canute that has scared her. She would eventually get used to the house, like she did the office.. but not with Canute terrorizing her. And no, i can't lock Canute up instead. He's much bigger and alpha and would destroy the place (which we want to sell in 7 months!). I can put him in the big carrier for a while each day, facing her so they can safely observe each other.
......Yeah, I know: but re-homing just isn't on the table. She is not living in constant fear and dread now, mostly just a lot of boredom.
And that in itself can be a miserable way to live. What life does she have locked in a room alone with nothing to do? Why not lock Canute in the room every other day to give her some kind of life? It's an existence for her now and she's not the one creating the problem - Canute is.
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That's why I go back there as much as I can, I let the other 3 in and out constantly when I'm home.. but she doesn't have a lot of floor space in there (it's a store room), there is a window though she doesn't look out it much. She just doesn't like transitions and Canute exploits it. He doesn't bully anyone else, she just acts like a mouse.
Please stop blaming the victim. He's the aggressor and cause of the trouble, not her.
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And that's not going to change anywhere else, it took her a while - though not this long- to relax at my office with William. I knew moving her was going to be the hardest, but that doesn't mean I'm going to kick her out. I just hope this works!
Who said to kick her out? Finding her a home where she can live a normal life instead of being imprisoned alone in a storeroom isn't "kicking her out."
<sigh> Canute doesn't like her because she acts like a mouse - so he treats her like one.....
I notice you keep blaming the victim. Canute is the aggressor, not her. What do you expect her to do against a male cat? Fight back which is what he wants? How will THAT stop him? Please stop blaming the victim.
What do I do? I break them up and remove him from the area. He's pretty fast, usually, so I can't catch him. and now he's on a high dose of prozac to calm him down.
I couldn't find anyone to take in a perfectly friendly 2yr old streetwalker, you think I can find someone to take in a 9yr cat with major transition issues? Everyone I know, if they like cats, has as many as they can handle (which is why we ended up taking in Henry once he broke his wrist - and putting us over the top in the number of cats we really want in the house). and frankly, there's no guarantee that moving her another house (trauma) with other cats she doesn't know (more trauma) won't end up the same way. A shelter certainly isn't going to take her. and I don't want to rehome her. She has company often, I bring her into other rooms for a change of pace, she has 2 windows, it's the brightest room in the house and it's better climate controlled in there than the rest of the house, she wouldn't do much if she were in the rest of the house. She has some toys - she doesn't care much about them.
I can't lock Canute in there, he can open the door. and he's much more likely to cause problems in there than she does.
oh honey there are never any simple answers b/c everyone of our circumstances are unique, you are doing the best you can given the situation...............good luck and bless your heart for taking on all the added stress and giving these kitties a home, now if only they would oblige and get along. ♥
What do I do? I break them up and remove him from the area. He's pretty fast, usually, so I can't catch him. and now he's on a high dose of prozac to calm him down.
I couldn't find anyone to take in a perfectly friendly 2yr old streetwalker, you think I can find someone to take in a 9yr cat with major transition issues? Everyone I know, if they like cats, has as many as they can handle (which is why we ended up taking in Henry once he broke his wrist - and putting us over the top in the number of cats we really want in the house). and frankly, there's no guarantee that moving her another house (trauma) with other cats she doesn't know (more trauma) won't end up the same way. A shelter certainly isn't going to take her. and I don't want to rehome her. She has company often, I bring her into other rooms for a change of pace, she has 2 windows, it's the brightest room in the house and it's better climate controlled in there than the rest of the house, she wouldn't do much if she were in the rest of the house. She has some toys - she doesn't care much about them.
I can't lock Canute in there, he can open the door. and he's much more likely to cause problems in there than she does.
I don't think the worst thing that can happen to a cat is an enclosed area of their own, provided they have plenty of attention. I had a friend who had two cats...a very small, nervous female and a large male. The male constantly attacked the female and eventually the house became divided, with the female living primarily in one bedroom.
However, the female's bedroom was also the teenage boy's bedroom, where all of his gaming equipment and basically life was. So she had someone with her most of the time.
That said, I still think you need to focus more on Canute and his behavior, not Hannah's. If he's that fast, I'd put him on a leash. And I would intervene at the first sign of interest in her...don't wait until he's actually lunging at her. Don't even let him sniff her or put back his ears. You aren't aiming for friendship...you just need him to leave her alone.
So if he starts going toward her, I'd immediately pick him up, say "no" firmly, and take him somewhere like a bathroom and let him sit in there for ten minutes. I would do this several times a day, and I would be very, very consistent about it. If you only take him out sometimes but allow him to get close to her at other times, it won't work.
thanks all. I cannot patrol Canute while I"m at work, or asleep - or away up north (which could happen right now at a moment's notice)- which kinda defeats the consistency as it becomes 'only when caught'. Believe me, I do yell 'no' at him and remove him from the area. And while I cna do this when I"m around, DH only breaks them up. Canute, in general, is one of the most laid-back, boneless cats you've ever seen. nothing phases him. But he has a high prey drive, and will kick it into gear when something runs from him. Hannah is getting a little braver - she wanted to come out last night and walked on her own into the computer room next door (she's been in here a number of times). I also took her into the bedroom, and she likes it there - and for a while was happily running around after a moth.
I have things to do in the house and cannot spend my time standing staring at whether Canute is staring aggressively at Hannah and making her cower, or not. I can only do the best I can. Things in my life have escalated another notch (cause I need that on top of DH with cancer and what to do about packing).. my 32yr old nephew just had a motorcycle accident and is in a coma with massive brain trauma. No idea if he's coming out of it or not.. or if we will have to make a sudden trip up north for a funeral. I love my cats, I'm doing everything I can, but you know.. there's only so much I can handle. If the prozac will help calm him down around her, if the flower essences will make her feel more secure, if putting him in the big carrier so they can see/smell each other safely, even if rubbing rescue remedy on either's face will help - I can do that. But it's all I can do these days to stay calm myself.
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Blaming the victim....... over and over
