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Dixie is indeed grieving. It will take time for her to accept and adjust to her loss. And of course, she feels your sorrow also, it is a heavy burden for her to bear. Lots and lots of special attention will help you both get through it together. Make sure she is eating enough and using the litter box normally. Be sure to tell her what has happened to Toby. Cats understand way more than many people realize.
Hello, After loosing my sweet Toby 2 weeks ago, my other cat Dixie is acting strange. She's always been rather skittish and will hide whenever she feels threatened, it doesn't take much. Since Toby died she has been walking from room to room meowing. The other day she came upon some of Toby's vomit that had seeped under the cabinet. Toby died of FIP She let out the most mournful meow and ran and hid for half a day. Do you think she is mourning Toby or reacting to my sorrow, or both. People say that animals live in the moment, not the past, like people. But I think she is mourning for her friend. They were together 7 years. What can I do for her? Please don't tell me to get another cat, I'm not ready for that and it wouldn't be fair to another cat just as a replacement. I will get one, just not yet. Any ideas? I respect your opinions greatly. All of you helped so much when Toby died.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I do believe that animals can mourn. When we say they live in the moment, it's a way of saying they embrace the now instead of worrying over the future. But for both animals and people, our past is a part of us. Those we bond with leave their mark. And though there is pain in that, there is so much beauty too.
No doubt she senses your sorrow, and certainly the disruption in routine will be difficult, especially for a more a skittish girl. I in fact would not suggest getting another cat right away, even if you felt ready (and I think you're doing the right thing for yourself as well by waiting.) It would only create more stress for her. I would try to keep her routine as normal as possible and just love on her. Distractions are also helpful...now might be a good time to start some fun training, like teaching her a trick such as sit or lay down (this will work best if she's food driven). It will help strengthen your bond and give her confidence. And as for us, time does help.
I've had cats grieve and search for lost companions, and others who carried on without seeming to miss a stride. But then we don't expect all humans to react in the same fashion to loss. If you're interested, there are several books on the subject of animal grief, such as the one below:
Thank you so much. That was very insightful. I've sometimes felt guilty grieving as I do for my Toby so maybe she is feeling some of that as well, but I do agree with you that she is mourning. She doesn't understand that her friend is gone. She did know that he was sick as she wouldn't leave his side. We sat with him day & night until it was certain he wouldn't get better. I'm sure this was traumatic for her as well. I will look at that book, it looks interesting and I am an avid reader. She does seem to have developed more of a personality since Toby is gone. He was so dominant, but I do think he helped to ground her. I am giving her extra love and attention, good for her and me.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I do believe that animals can mourn. When we say they live in the moment, it's a way of saying they embrace the now instead of worrying over the future. But for both animals and people, our past is a part of us. Those we bond with leave their mark. And though there is pain in that, there is so much beauty too.
No doubt she senses your sorrow, and certainly the disruption in routine will be difficult, especially for a more a skittish girl. I in fact would not suggest getting another cat right away, even if you felt ready (and I think you're doing the right thing for yourself as well by waiting.) It would only create more stress for her. I would try to keep her routine as normal as possible and just love on her. Distractions are also helpful...now might be a good time to start some fun training, like teaching her a trick such as sit or lay down (this will work best if she's food driven). It will help strengthen your bond and give her confidence. And as for us, time does help.
I've had cats grieve and search for lost companions, and others who carried on without seeming to miss a stride. But then we don't expect all humans to react in the same fashion to loss. If you're interested, there are several books on the subject of animal grief, such as the one below:
Hello, After loosing my sweet Toby 2 weeks ago, my other cat Dixie is acting strange. She's always been rather skittish and will hide whenever she feels threatened, it doesn't take much. Since Toby died she has been walking from room to room meowing. The other day she came upon some of Toby's vomit that had seeped under the cabinet. Toby died of FIP She let out the most mournful meow and ran and hid for half a day. Do you think she is mourning Toby or reacting to my sorrow, or both. People say that animals live in the moment, not the past, like people. But I think she is mourning for her friend. They were together 7 years. What can I do for her? Please don't tell me to get another cat, I'm not ready for that and it wouldn't be fair to another cat just as a replacement. I will get one, just not yet. Any ideas? I respect your opinions greatly. All of you helped so much when Toby died.
I used to have two dogs, Molly and Lady-Bug. Lady wasn't doing well so every night when I came home fromwork, I just held my breath as I put the key in the lock. Finally, one winter night I found her laying in the back yard. She was alive, but not doing well. So we hugged and I took her for her last ride, shaking all the way. As I left the vet's office alone, I almost made to my car before throwing up. Driving home, I just couldn't do it so in the middle of a very busy road, I just stopped the car and sobbed. Molly had been separated from Lady for a day or two in the past but she knew, she just knew, and layed down on the floor unable to lift head as she howled and I cried trying to hold her for hours. I began getting nasty calls from my neighbors about her howling in the months to follow. The worst came when a neighbor verbally attacked me for being so rude as the young man with cancer had just died the night before. Molly had stayed by the fence howling as the young man was dying but I wasn't home and didn't know how serious the man's condition was. I felt horrible. I'm sure they were glad when Molly and I moved, but it was time I will never forget. Molly is now gone also and we have three cats so life is good, but we never forget our other loved ones.
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She let out the most mournful meow and ran and hid for half a day. Do you think she is mourning Toby or reacting to my sorrow, or both. People say that animals live in the moment, not the past, like people. But I think she is mourning for her friend. They were together 7 years. What can I do for her? Please don't tell me to get another cat, I'm not ready for that and it wouldn't be fair to another cat just as a replacement. I will get one, just not yet. Any ideas? I respect your opinions greatly. All of you helped so much when Toby died.
