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So sorry about Jake. Our kitties burrow so deep into our hearts, of course it hurts so much when we lose them.
I cannot imagine not having kitties in my life, although I suspect I will have fewer of them as I get older. As others have written, adopting a senior cat can work out very well -- for both you AND the kitty.
Our Jake, an orange tabby, died this afternoon. A very peaceful death, just slipped away after a day of not eating or drinking and mostly sleeping, sometimes in my arms, sometimes lying next to me.
It wasn't a surprise, really -- he was 17 1/2 (like late 80s in human years).
I'm trying to present all the downsides of having him with us, because to my surprise I am SO UPSET about his death. I thought I was geared up for "it was time, he had a good life (we got him from the SPCA), at least he didn't suffer," but I simply wasn't ready to have him leave us.
I'm not sure I'm ready for a life with no cats. I grew up with them and then convinced my husband 42 years ago that life would be better with a cat or two. We've never regretted having them.
And now, suddenly, we don't have one. I never wanted to bring a younger one into the house because I didn't think it would be fair to Jake. But I am missing him so much, and now I wonder if never having another cat is the right idea.
I'm going thru pretty much the same thing right now. I'm 63 & my almost 14 y.o. cat died last weekend. I had to take him to a vet to end it. (Finally found a great vet I think). I was so stressed--it was Sat. morning, and I got lost getting to the vet that closed at noon. Afterwards tho I felt a great sense of relief; for a day or two.
But now, wow, the house feels really empty. But I don't know if I can deal with it again. Either taking on a kitten; with all that that entails. Dealing with it when they get really sick, etc. Maybe I wouldn't get as attached to an older cat; but I just (once again) dealt with what happens with older cats eventually.
And I still have all of this really good cat food, Laxatone, cat brushes, litter, litter boxes, etc. I don't want to look at any of it. I hope it's OK to interject my own story; it's just that yours kind of hit me; & i'm not sure what to do either.......
Woody, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Carly about 2 and a half years ago in a similar fashion. Initially I thought I'd not ever rescue another cat, and didn't for about a year. Then I met Fiona who is already an old girl (but then, so am I ) and I saw that there was this small thing I could do for her: take her home with me.
So...don't force yourself to one position or another; just let some time go by and then make decisions. Do you have somewhere into which you can pack away all your cat stuff? Then later maybe you'll want to get it out for a newly rescued kitty. If you decide to go that way.
But be generous with yourself and take however much time you need. Sending thoughts your way....
I'm going thru pretty much the same thing right now. I'm 63 & my almost 14 y.o. cat died last weekend. I had to take him to a vet to end it. (Finally found a great vet I think). I was so stressed--it was Sat. morning, and I got lost getting to the vet that closed at noon. Afterwards tho I felt a great sense of relief; for a day or two.
But now, wow, the house feels really empty. But I don't know if I can deal with it again. Either taking on a kitten; with all that that entails. Dealing with it when they get really sick, etc. Maybe I wouldn't get as attached to an older cat; but I just (once again) dealt with what happens with older cats eventually.
And I still have all of this really good cat food, Laxatone, cat brushes, litter, litter boxes, etc. I don't want to look at any of it. I hope it's OK to interject my own story; it's just that yours kind of hit me; & i'm not sure what to do either.......
So sorry for your loss as well. Whether you adopt again or not is a choice you have make yourself, just give it some time before considering it. I've lived with multiple cats for many years, and whenever one passed on, there were always the others to redirect the grief. So I have not yet had to face the 'empty house' thing yet. Knowing me, I doubt that I would 'catless' for very long, and would probably try to adopt a senior that needed a home. Cats are so much a part of my life that I don't think I could live without one anymore.
The pain & grief we experience when we lose a furkid is the price we pay for having a loving heart, and really, is a small price to pay for all they give us in return. The grieving will last a relatively short time, but the cherished memories we have of them will last for the rest of our lives. A pretty good bargain IMO.
Peace be with you WoodyWW.
I am so sorry about Jake. The really do leave paw prints on your heart, no matter how tough we think we are.
I agree about adopting an older cat. That is our plan after to the current group of fur kids is gone. We've had cats like to almost 20, so a 10 year old cat still has a lot of life . . . and love left in him/her.
Don't rush into it. When the right one comes along, you will know it.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby. DH and I lost our little kitty girl in May. She was also 17 1/2. Bereft is a good word for the feelings you are feeling. I know it feels as if the world has somehow shifted on its axis, and things are just not the same.
We have our little boy kitty left, who is 17 1/2 now. DH has also said no more kitties when he is gone. We've had kitties for over 30 years. I too cannot imagine life with one. I think that is one of the things that made me so upset about losing my little girl, the idea of no more kitties to love! Now DH is at the point where he says maybe after a time we can think about another one. Give your DH time, as I'm sure he is very upset as well. There is always the option of fostering the sweet little things too. Just a thought. Sending you lots of hugs during this terribly difficult time. May each day find you a little closer healing.
I'm so sorry to hear about Jake. I can tell he was very dear to you.
We lost our Rusty (also an orange tabby) at 15. I cried for days after he died. It was not nearly a long enough time to share with him, though rationally I know that he was a senior cat and had had a long and happy life. In the end, that is all we can do--love on our pets for as long as we are blessed to have them.
I have always had it on my heart to adopt a senior cat from the shelter or cat rescue, but after we lost Rusty, one young cat after another found us. We now have three, and the oldest is two years old. Hopefully they will all be around for many years, but some day when it's feasible I am still want to go to the shelter and take that 12- or 14-year old cat that needs a home.
I'm going thru pretty much the same thing right now. I'm 63 & my almost 14 y.o. cat died last weekend. I had to take him to a vet to end it. (Finally found a great vet I think). I was so stressed--it was Sat. morning, and I got lost getting to the vet that closed at noon. Afterwards tho I felt a great sense of relief; for a day or two.
But now, wow, the house feels really empty. But I don't know if I can deal with it again. Either taking on a kitten; with all that that entails. Dealing with it when they get really sick, etc. Maybe I wouldn't get as attached to an older cat; but I just (once again) dealt with what happens with older cats eventually.
And I still have all of this really good cat food, Laxatone, cat brushes, litter, litter boxes, etc. I don't want to look at any of it. I hope it's OK to interject my own story; it's just that yours kind of hit me; & i'm not sure what to do either.......
Oh, please don't apologize for adding a different/similar point of view. That's what's so helpful about these forums. I'm sorry you had to make The Trip to the vet's. I was at least spared that, though I was gearing myself up for it if need be.
Our Jake died Sunday afternoon, not so long after your cat. So they probably bumped into one another at Rainbow Bridge.
I've thought about fostering. But it's my husband who does all the heavy lifting (literally) when it comes to food and litter. He's the one who says this is it. In fairness to him, I don't feel like pushing the issue for the time being. Maybe we'll foster. Or maybe we'll just travel more and not feel bad about leaving the cat.
When I took our boy to the vet on Monday to be cremated, I took the insulin, the syringes, and the gel for hypothyroidism so that the vet could give all that to someone who could use it. When we pick up the ashes, I think we'll take all the other cat paraphernalia like carrier, brushes, food, toys, etc. If we decide to get another cat -- foster or long-term -- we'll just start again with things that don't have bittersweet memories attached. Hope you're able to part with all the stuff -- as I can tell you know, it's not what keeps the memories alive.
Last edited by Pocopsonite; 09-10-2014 at 10:01 PM..
And I still have all of this really good cat food, Laxatone, cat brushes, litter, litter boxes, etc. I don't want to look at any of it. I hope it's OK to interject my own story; it's just that yours kind of hit me; & i'm not sure what to do either.......
I agree about giving away what can be used by shelters, vets, cat-owned neighbors/friends, etc.
When the end was near for Weasie I spent an evening on a giveaway spree. Since she would no longer be playing, I did a sweep of our place and rounded up all the plastic or washable toys (a lot had accumulated over 19 years. ) Those, and the bags of snacks which would remain unopened, were distributed among several neighborhood households with feline family members. Once there was no longer a need to replenish the litter box, I took the unused kitty litter to the people around the corner with three cats. And the day before the last trip to the vet, I brought the two cans of food I hadn't used to the city Animal Control office for a donation.
As happened with Woody, I was initially more relieved for Weasie that her suffering was over than feeling sorry for myself. So what I did upon returning to the now "empty" house was immediately dump out the litter box and scrub it clean. A former vet had personalized some silly stickers and stuck them to the carrier; those were peeled off and thrown away along with the uneaten food in open containers. The cat dishes were washed and put into a cabinet. Downstairs to the storage area went the carrier and litter box - out of sight, out of mind.
The food I'd taken to the municipal animal shelter was probably gobbled down within a day or two. The toys bequeathed by Weasie via Yours Truly found new and appreciative users. When one friend's cat turned up her nose at many of the snacks, they were taken to a common area in the friend's apartment building and left on a table with a "FREE" sign. "I couldn't believe how people descended on that table," it was reported; "20 minutes later everything was gone." Point being, it's a win-win scenario when usable stuff is redistributed. The bereft owner doesn't have to look at it and be reminded. And cats who can benefit from it do.
When Blaliko and Seteria adopted me it was easy to start fresh. The snacks I'd parted with would have likely still been good since Weasie's successors moved in 4 1/2 months and 6 months after her passing, respectively. But the canned food would've spoiled in the meantime, I still would've been tripping over toys , and no self-respecting cat would step into a litter box that had been sitting out for that long and carrying the scent of another feline. All it took was a trip to the basement to retrieve the carrier and litter box, and a Petco food/supply run, and I was back in the business of being a humanoid step-dad.
It's not as though I don't have mementos of the cat who shared my home and life for over 19 years. A stack of photos, birthday party and missing-pet flyers, etc, attests to that. Those are things which shouldn't be tossed or given away. But anything a living kitty can make use of ought to be shared.
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) and I saw that there was this small thing I could do for her: take her home with me. 
) Those, and the bags of snacks which would remain unopened, were distributed among several neighborhood households with feline family members. Once there was no longer a need to replenish the litter box, I took the unused kitty litter to the people around the corner with three cats. And the day before the last trip to the vet, I brought the two cans of food I hadn't used to the city Animal Control office for a donation.
The toys bequeathed by Weasie via Yours Truly found new and appreciative users. When one friend's cat turned up her nose at many of the snacks, they were taken to a common area in the friend's apartment building and left on a table with a "FREE" sign. "I couldn't believe how people descended on that table," it was reported; "20 minutes later everything was gone." Point being, it's a win-win scenario when usable stuff is redistributed. 
The bereft owner doesn't have to look at it and be reminded. And cats who can benefit from it do.
, and no self-respecting cat would step into a litter box that had been sitting out for that long and carrying the scent of another feline. All it took was a trip to the basement to retrieve the carrier and litter box, and a Petco food/supply run, and I was back in the business of being a humanoid step-dad.
