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Can you really blame your friend, who for a year and a half, allowed your cats on his property? It's one thing to do a friend a favor if you have a temporary living situation, family emergency...etc. Your friend helped you for thar long so you can travel and work. Have you paid him for keeping and caring for your cat?
He was your friend and under no obligation except trying to be a good friend to you to help you with your cats. If you don't like how he kicked your cat out, then do what you should've done from the start: find a safe, permanent loving home for her. And I don't mean your dad's house either. He should take her for now until you find that permanent home for your cat. I think it's horrendous to have guilt your dad into taking your cat. If he wants her, not due to guilt, great for everyone. If he is doing it as a favor to you, you just went back to square one where her future again might be at stake.
If you are too busy for a cat, then do right by her and find a good home for her. Outdoor or indoor. Ranch or no yard. She needs a permanent place and a guardian who can devote the attention, love and care that you are not providing. At 10 years old, she is very much adoptable. It takes time, persistence and post tons of pics and ads to find the right home for her. They can live for a few more years if all things go right. She also need to start on her blood panel and veterinary check ups more often as a senior.
We were roommates and we got the cats together so they were his as much as they were mine. I took them in for 3 years after we went separate ways and then I was on the road constantly with a new job I found which I didn't like but it was 2008 and the economy crashed and I had no other choice at the time. He agreed to take them and put them on his farm which he was happy to do because he missed them and cared about them as much as I did and he just moved to his dads ranch/farm with a free house and lots of land for them to run around on and they slept inside every night and were well taken care of.
When he met his wife, she was the reason he kicked them out and she refused to let them inside and that's when it all went to hell. I wanted to get them but why would I want them on the road with me all the time that would be awful.. Now I'm at the point where I'm ready to quit my job to take care of this but I need to take her to a safe place in the mean time until I get my situation settled which is why my dad has agreed to help me. Yes I take responsibility and I feel terrible guilt and pain every day for this and I wish I would have did it different but now I'm ready to do what I have to do to help her. I don't feel guilty however for being angry at my friend because it was his responsibility too and he chose to not care so don't tell me he was under no obligation because thats b.s.
Yes, I'd move the cat. For all of the reasons others have given. If I was in your shoes, when winter comes, I'd be constantly worrying about the cat knowing it was outside alone in weather cats are not made to endure. Some are fortunate to have the genetics for specialized fur and temperature-regulating physiology. But most domestics are not.
I do understand everything that created this situation. Don't feel guilty. At the time it was the right thing to do. Subsequent circumstances were out of your control. But that can change. Since it's mid-summer and you're already worried, and your Dad is willing (and he must have some affinity for animals since he has pets), moving the cat should be your next step.
Remember this --- even if the move and getting used to a new home may be a bit of trauma-drama for the kitty, she will get over that really really quickly once she's in a place where she realizes that someone actually cares about her. That's something she used to have prior to the new wife, and losing that was probably more trauma-drama than anything else.
We were roommates and we got the cats together so they were his as much as they were mine. I took them in for 3 years after we went separate ways and then I was on the road constantly with a new job I found which I didn't like but it was 2008 and the economy crashed and I had no other choice at the time. He agreed to take them and put them on his farm which he was happy to do because he missed them and cared about them as much as I did and he just moved to his dads ranch/farm with a free house and lots of land for them to run around on and they slept inside every night and were well taken care of.
When he met his wife, she was the reason he kicked them out and she refused to let them inside and that's when it all went to hell. I wanted to get them but why would I want them on the road with me all the time that would be awful.. Now I'm at the point where I'm ready to quit my job to take care of this but I need to take her to a safe place in the mean time until I get my situation settled which is why my dad has agreed to help me. Yes I take responsibility and I feel terrible guilt and pain every day for this and I wish I would have did it different but now I'm ready to do what I have to do to help her. I don't feel guilty however for being angry at my friend because it was his responsibility too and he chose to not care so don't tell me he was under no obligation because thats b.s.
Life happens. It caused you to have the work schedule that you have and the wife that your friend choose to keep.
Move the cat.
Don't quit your job unless you found one more suitable to you.
Let go of the guilt. It happens. We all been in situations where we could've, would've or should've done XY and Z. All part of the experience called Life. Feeling bad for yourself or angry at your friend solves nothing but dilute your heart with more pain and guilt.
Find a permanent home for the remaining cat if need be, after she is somewhere safe.
We were roommates and we got the cats together so they were his as much as they were mine. I took them in for 3 years after we went separate ways and then I was on the road constantly with a new job I found which I didn't like but it was 2008 and the economy crashed and I had no other choice at the time. He agreed to take them and put them on his farm which he was happy to do because he missed them and cared about them as much as I did and he just moved to his dads ranch/farm with a free house and lots of land for them to run around on and they slept inside every night and were well taken care of.
When he met his wife, she was the reason he kicked them out and she refused to let them inside and that's when it all went to hell. I wanted to get them but why would I want them on the road with me all the time that would be awful.. Now I'm at the point where I'm ready to quit my job to take care of this but I need to take her to a safe place in the mean time until I get my situation settled which is why my dad has agreed to help me. Yes I take responsibility and I feel terrible guilt and pain every day for this and I wish I would have did it different but now I'm ready to do what I have to do to help her. I don't feel guilty however for being angry at my friend because it was his responsibility too and he chose to not care so don't tell me he was under no obligation because thats b.s.
I may catch some flak for this, but I don't care. Your friends wife basically made him choose between her and the cats he said he loved, and IMO he made the wrong choice. I can tell you in all honesty that if I became involved with a lady that gave me an ultimatum like that, it would be the end of the relationship. Shame on her for making him choose, and shame on him for giving in to such a controlling demand. She may not be a bad person, but making him do that shows she didn't give much thought to his feelings (if he truly loved the cats as he said he did).
I may catch some flak for this, but I don't care. Your friends wife basically made him choose between her and the cats he said he loved, and IMO he made the wrong choice. I can tell you in all honesty that if I became involved with a lady that gave me an ultimatum like that, it would be the end of the relationship. Shame on her for making him choose, and shame on him for giving in to such a controlling demand. She may not be a bad person, but making him do that shows she didn't give much thought to his feelings (if he truly loved the cats as he said he did).
I may catch some flak for this, but I don't care. Your friends wife basically made him choose between her and the cats he said he loved, and IMO he made the wrong choice. I can tell you in all honesty that if I became involved with a lady that gave me an ultimatum like that, it would be the end of the relationship.
I feel the same way. Fortunately my husband is a cat-man and loves cats as much as I do. We both had cats when we met.
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Shame on her for making him choose, and shame on him for giving in to such a controlling demand. She may not be a bad person, but making him do that shows she didn't give much thought to his feelings (if he truly loved the cats as he said he did).
I agree. I was pretty upset about it but some people really don't care as long as they get what they want. I know my wife/girlfriend will never do that to me either otherwise I guess that will be the easiest end to a relationship I'll probably ever have.. and I probably won't put it very politely either when I tell her to leave
I agree. I was pretty upset about it but some people really don't care as long as they get what they want. I know my wife/girlfriend will never do that to me either otherwise I guess that will be the easiest end to a relationship I'll probably ever have.. and I probably won't put it very politely either when I tell her to leave
All that aside, the important thing is that you're going to do something to help the cat have a better life. I wish you much success in that effort. Please give us an update if you can.
All that aside, the important thing is that you're going to do something to help the cat have a better life. I wish you much success in that effort. Please give us an update if you can.
Agree.
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