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I dont think rehoming is a bad idea. Its not an easy idea either! i think when you have tried everything and you just cant anymore, then its time. I would not recommend a shelter, look into a rescue or really keep searching for a no cat home. I would 100% be honest with any issues.
Actually, I would have Ariel checked out to rule out hyperthyroidism or any condition that might cause aggression.
Secondly, that is great you are separting them for now - that is the best solution. Maybe the only one.
Third, don't smack the cat. They don't know why you are doing it and it scares them and ultimately makes them more aggressive.
Lastly, you can't rehome an 11 year old cat with pooping and anxiety issues. Euthanasia would actually be more humane - she would spend the rest of her life in a cage. I would never judge you for this. I hope it doesn't come to that, but if it does, it's a very personal decision and one only you can make. If you are not honest about her issues and she gets adopted (unlikely in a cat that age), and the new owners discover these issues, God only knows what would happen to her.
If it were me, I would rather keep them separated than put her down.
Update: Not much has changed in terms of Ariel's behavior. I was able to go on a week-long vacation to Utah, and my kids kept an eye on the cats. I'm still separating them (the cats, not the kids!) when I'm not home, and if Ariel starts attacking Jasmine when I am home, I immediately scoop her up and put her in bedroom - kind of a kitty time out.
For the most part, Jasmine's poops have been in the litter boxes. I'm very relieved about that! I don't mind cleaning up kitty poop once every couple of weeks or so. I mean, it's still not ideal, but at least I can deal with it.
Ariel is very funny; I really had to hear it from her when I got home from my trip! She was up in the cat tree, and she meowed very loudly for a few minutes to let me know how upset she was that I was gone for so long! Then later, of course, she jumped into my lap and settled down, purring up a storm. It was very sweet.
So this is where we're at. Not a great situation, but it's one we can all live with - and I don't have to get rid of either one of my kitties!
If Jasmine isn't pooping outside the box as much, I'd guess she's beginning to feel less stressed and gratefully understanding that you're her protector.
If Ariel isn't in attack mode as often, it's probably because of two things:
1) she perhaps understands (or is beginning to get the drift) with kitty-timeout that her behavior isn't appropriate (thus your timing of scooping her up is spot-on),
2) and/or since Jasmine is showing less stress and not giving off that state of mind as frequently, Ariel no longer feels Jasmine's stress which could have been a trigger for Ariel's naughty behavior in the first place.
Regardless of any of this, it's wonderful that you're all settling into some sort of groove so that YOU are no longer stressed about having to make a decision to rehome ... great news for all!
Read an article by cat expert Pam Johnson-Bennett about pooping outside the box. Many possibilities but for us, it was the ambush principle. Our 2 cats aren't bosom buddies, and cats are vigilant for an ambush by instinct, some more than others. We switched out our 3 litter boxes for 3 modified (cut out entrance 6" up, removed rough edges), clear plastic Sterilite bins, not using the lids, and Wala! Problem solved! They are much easier to clean, and we can stand using a stand-up pooper scooper instead of sitting/crouching down in front of 3 litter boxes twice a day. We thought it would smell worse, actually smells better, thought more litter would get kicked out, the bins have high sides so less litter makes it out, no urine gets out, again high sides with these bins. XL litter boxes cost 4 times more. Cats don't like lids or privacy, this was news to us. Wish we would have done this long ago! What a relief! This may work for others.
Read an article by cat expert Pam Johnson-Bennett about pooping outside the box. Many possibilities but for us, it was the ambush principle. Our 2 cats aren't bosom buddies, and cats are vigilant for an ambush by instinct, some more than others. We switched out our 3 litter boxes for 3 modified (cut out entrance 6" up, removed rough edges), clear plastic Sterilite bins, not using the lids, and Wala! Problem solved! They are much easier to clean, and we can stand using a stand-up pooper scooper instead of sitting/crouching down in front of 3 litter boxes twice a day. We thought it would smell worse, actually smells better, thought more litter would get kicked out, the bins have high sides so less litter makes it out, no urine gets out, again high sides with these bins. XL litter boxes cost 4 times more. Cats don't like lids or privacy, this was news to us. Wish we would have done this long ago! What a relief! This may work for others.
Some cats may not like privacy, but mine does. One of my cats all of the sudden started pooping (and peeing) outside of the box. Waaaaay outside of the box, but in places for us to notice. She is the cat that get bullied (honestly, she provokes a lot of it). I took her to the vet to get her checked. She was perfect. I decided to add another litter box and place it in an unused upstairs bathroom tub. She was also placed on prozac; I didn't like the idea but I didn't want her to have to live in a room by herself. She improved and all inappropriate pooping/peeing stopped. After a couple of months I wanted her off of the prozac and started weaning her off; it takes about 6 weeks. About a week before she was totally weaned, I caught her upstairs about to poop in a corner near the bathroom where the upstairs box is.
She will only use the upstairs box that is super private and I see her sneaking up there to use it when no one else is around. I'm pretty sure that she wasn't able to use the downstairs box in peace.
She is back on the prozac for the foreseeable future.
I'm truly sorry you continue to have problems, we have gone through this for several years, and it was becoming more frequent, we visited the vet, we added another litter box, we started sifting twice a day and whenever we saw someone had used the box. It was causing marital discord because we disagreed why this was happening. I had read many forums on this subject regarding cats pooping and peeing outside the box. Then I read this article that talked about the "ambush" causing cats to poop and pee out in the open where they know they can escape a threat. We had our litter boxes hidden away hoping the privacy would matter, it didn't. A clear larger lidless litter box was the last thing I would have thought of, it has been amazing and we moved them for a wide view of the room. Our nervous Nellie can now see out through the litter box when she is going and she is so much more relaxed, she won't go if our other feline is within sight but otherwise, no longer rushes/runs out with poop/pee/litter following her. She hasn't gone outside the box since and we're going on 3 months. Do you have lids? Are your litter boxes clear and see through? Can she see outside of your bathtub? Probably not. You mentioned that your cat was bullied? These are the kind of cats that are vigilant for an intruder, an ambush. It's worse if you have 2 cats and they don't get along like ours. This author who has written books on cat behavior says we were thinking like humans, not felines. So because we were desperate, I went to Walmart and bought 3 of these Sterilite clear plastic bins, they're huge. I cut out an opening in the front 6 inches up, it took a whole bag of litter because of the size, and we saw an immediate reduction in anxiety and no more pooping on the floor. The boxes are only $11, what do you have to lose? Do the opposite of what you're doing, put them in a place where your kitty can see out, not blocked by something on both sides like we were doing. And sifting twice a day is important as well. Our pet sitter had the same problem with her 2 cats, she did what we did, problem solved for her as well. It may not work for you, but again, it may be worth a change in thinking and your litter box situation. Litter boxes that promote going outside the box are usually dark, hidden, have lids, are too small, smell real bad and/or are full of urine/poop. So you want light, out in the open, no lids, big, and clean. Anyone with anxious cats should try this.
I'm truly sorry you continue to have problems, we have gone through this for several years, and it was becoming more frequent, we visited the vet, we added another litter box, we started sifting twice a day and whenever we saw someone had used the box. It was causing marital discord because we disagreed why this was happening. I had read many forums on this subject regarding cats pooping and peeing outside the box. Then I read this article that talked about the "ambush" causing cats to poop and pee out in the open where they know they can escape a threat. We had our litter boxes hidden away hoping the privacy would matter, it didn't. A clear larger lidless litter box was the last thing I would have thought of, it has been amazing and we moved them for a wide view of the room. Our nervous Nellie can now see out through the litter box when she is going and she is so much more relaxed, she won't go if our other feline is within sight but otherwise, no longer rushes/runs out with poop/pee/litter following her. She hasn't gone outside the box since and we're going on 3 months. Do you have lids? Are your litter boxes clear and see through? Can she see outside of your bathtub? Probably not. You mentioned that your cat was bullied? These are the kind of cats that are vigilant for an intruder, an ambush. It's worse if you have 2 cats and they don't get along like ours. This author who has written books on cat behavior says we were thinking like humans, not felines. So because we were desperate, I went to Walmart and bought 3 of these Sterilite clear plastic bins, they're huge. I cut out an opening in the front 6 inches up, it took a whole bag of litter because of the size, and we saw an immediate reduction in anxiety and no more pooping on the floor. The boxes are only $11, what do you have to lose? Do the opposite of what you're doing, put them in a place where your kitty can see out, not blocked by something on both sides like we were doing. And sifting twice a day is important as well. Our pet sitter had the same problem with her 2 cats, she did what we did, problem solved for her as well. It may not work for you, but again, it may be worth a change in thinking and your litter box situation. Litter boxes that promote going outside the box are usually dark, hidden, have lids, are too small, smell real bad and/or are full of urine/poop. So you want light, out in the open, no lids, big, and clean. Anyone with anxious cats should try this.
Actually, things are fine now. The box that she uses is un-lidded and scooped twice daily. She can see out of the bath tub (it's a low sided tub) and she uses it without problem. The cat that is the aggressor is also on medication to help with his aggression issues (and it's helped greatly). The box dowstairs is a Kat Kave box and is ginormous (it takes at least 14+ lbs of litter to fill it up). It's the main box that is used (just not by her) and is also scooped twice daily. She has always had mental issues (not trying to be funny). We found her at about 3 weeks old without a mother, extremely malnourished, weighing just 6 ounces; we had to bottle feed her. She never had the socialization as a kitten and has a hard time with any type of aggression, or strangers, or vacuum cleaners, or doorbells (you get the picture).
The point to my earlier post was basically, every cat is different and there is no one-fix-for-all. You have to keep trying things until you find the one that works. We got the Kat Kave litter box because one of my cats is a full time stand up pee-er and another is a part time stander and it would go over the top of the box. I had already tried the Sterlite totes and they worked except that pee litter would get caught in the channels and that drove me nuts.
All of your suggestions are excellent, by the way.
I apologize if I was patronizing, you've already done the Sterilite thing and I get the channels, so far, the urine clumps before it gets there, we have the hissing problem too, minimal physical tangling but it's annoying and I wish they got along but rehoming them or sending them to the shelter is unacceptable, we love them and they're here to stay, I'm just relieved that we finally found something that has stopped the floor pooping and wanted to share it because many people have this problem with cats. They're interesting but unpredictable creatures and you're right, what works for one cat doesn't work for another. We're expecting more episodes but hopefully they will trail off and completely stop. Take care.
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