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I won't get into particulars, but in my husband's family, we have had to deal with the same thing. We greatly regret that we did not press charges. We didn't b/c the perpetrator is paranoid schizophrenic so we thought we would just clean up the damage and move on. We were wrong. We essentially enabled the person to continue the behavior.
I tell you this from the perspective of about 20 years. If we had it to do over again, we would have encouraged everyone whose identity was used to press charges and we would certainly have pressed charges regardless of what others decided. Just passing that on as even if folks think they are doing the right thing at the time . . . the consequences of having to deal with someone else creating debt are huge. And the really sad thing is . . . when there are no consequences, people with a propensity to this sort of behavior typically repeat it (wh/ happened in our situation).
Thanks again for all your replies. I agree with all the advice. I just wish my kids would take action, yet I understand their feelings. How do you arrest your own father? It's a twisted position to be in and he knows this. He manipulates the people who love him and cons them in to supporting him. He did it to me in the past too.
My kids may be legal adults, be they are still very young and naive. No matter what age your kids are, it's human nature for a mother to protect her children, especially from a harmful, sick person. They've done nothing wrong and I can't sit back and watch them be victimized, but I've tried my best and have hit a wall. I've provided them with every bit of information and advice available. That's all I can do. Being a parent is the hardest job and untreated bipolar disorder s*cks.
If you have a mental illness, get help. It's not just you who lives with it. It affects entire families and destroys.
CVP - You have done everything you can do - now it is up to your kids to fight this or not. I can understand your kids not wanting to hurt their father but I do hope they will change their mind..... Likely the best thing for him is to be held accountable for his actions.
I understand that your ex is bipolar but he is an adult and he knows right from wrong. There are many people that are bipolar that don't ruin other peoples credit. What your ex has done is unexcusable. He will continue as long as everyone coddles him.
Your kids are going to have to be the ones to deal with this and it sounds like right now, they are scared to.
Coming from you, they have heard it and it sounds like you have exhausted yourself trying to convince them otherwise.
However, if you could find a way for a third party, such as a credit counselor or a trusted family friend that has good financial knowledge, to get in front of your kids, they might listen.
I hope they do.
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